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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
it's been a few months since i had a thread in Going Through. and i've been handling things much better than the first six months of her moving out. but New Year's was much more difficult than i anticipated. i've felt mostly horrible and depressed for the past few days... worse than christmas.

and then this morning i got a priority fedex with my final divorce papers.

there was a sterile note attached to the docs about holding on to it for safe keeping. and to the front of it she attached a christmas card. wishing me well and letting me know that she's available if i ever want a "friendly chat".

so as of December 28th, but really this morning, i'm officially divorced.

i guess i could go back to thinking that is one less thing to think about and what not, but the damned card with the sidestepping friendliness just infuriates me. when i'd wanted to talk with her over the past 7 mos she would tell me that "we'd already talked" on one occasion.

anyway. i've officially graduated.
 

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Welcome to the club - certainly knows how to push your buttons doesn't she? I don't know her at all but it sounds pretty condescending. Why the f*ck would you want a 'friendly chat' with someone who treated you like sh*t I wonder

anyway, chin chin - life goes on and gets better x
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I had a good "final" cry and allowed myself to meltdown a bit this morning and then went for a long 36º bike ride.

Thank you Dolly and vi_. I'm going to be spending less time in the other forum for a while. I just don't have the empathy for it at present. And my comments have been more caustic this week which is not very appropriate for new comers.

So, I'm turning this leaf and hoping that i catch some sort of break in 2013. If i can get my finances straight i think i could finally push forward. Learning the other week that her during-marriage law degree is an asset in the state of New York has made the high-road i chose a bitter pill to swallow, when thousands become millions. ....anyway. that was yesterday.

need to to get in better shape, get my career straightened and get laid. the unholy trinity.

...

so am i "divorced" or "single", what's the etiquette on that?
 

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I really don't think it matters anymore. I think most people assume that an unmarried person beyond a certain age has most likely been divorced, rather than never married.

The pertinent info is that you're presently not married. How you define yourself is up to you, methinks.

Good question, though. I hadn't really thought about it in regards to myself, but I guess I should, seeing as I'll be joining the club, hopefully very soon. FB status has been blank for 2 years now, so that won't need to change.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
what are you doing in this forum. impostor! or is that im-poster?!

i was comfortable with the pariah of being Divorced while i was going through the process as it seemed to sort of present me as damaged goods. My FB status has been private for a while now. But i'm thinking of going "Single" because even though i'm divorced... i'm looking to mingle. and yes ladies, i'm look at you... through a sea of yarn and thoughts most inappropriate.
 

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Well, then. Looks like I'll be most welcome in these parts when the time officially arrives.

ETA: Oh!! my 7000th post! Lucky you.
 

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I'm single
Being divorced means I'm still attached to him in some way and I don't want to be

If someone asks me if I've been married then I'll tell them

But as far as I'm concerned I is young and single and I luuuurves to mingle

you dig?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Good point. Dolly, I dig you so much i would bury you. hmm, it sounded less threatening in my head.

AP, what do i win for being the 7000th visitor to your altar? or is that the other way around?
 

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Hey Orpheus,

I am here now, too. :) Officially.

My divorce was finalized in court a couple of weeks ago. My lawyer called me a few days before Christmas and said, "Consider this an early Christmas present. You, Ms. Jpr, are going to be just fine. " :rolleyes:

Whatever. :rolleyes:

I actually thought my divorce was finalized a few weeks prior to that phonecall. :eek: I didn't realize that it took a couple of weeks from the court to process it.

My final divorce decree came in the mail a couple of days ago. I didn't open it for a few days, and I just opened it tonight. I read that letter that states that the paperwork will be kept on file for 7 years. ...but, I didn't read the actual decree. I just filed it away in my file folder entitled "Bye" (<--thanks for that idea Dolly! ;))

It is strange, though, that something I held so near and dear--my marriage...something that I valued and never thought would end has been terminated by a few pages of paper and a few signatures.

Strange :confused:...sad:( ...*sigh*:eek:

I have been getting this strange feeling when I wake up though...like I am missing something. Like I left the oven on, or like I left my wallet somewhere. I sort of panic (for a milli-second) and then I realize that Sasquatch is no longer here. And, that feels strange and not quite right....even though he has been gone from my home for 16 months. I am now starting to panic (slightly...for like a mili-second) when I realize he is not here and never coming back.

Right now, something does feel odd in my life. :scratchhead: ...if I stop and think about it.

No crying. ...but tinges of sadness do pop up in my brain.

Anyway...I rambled. :eek:Took a double dose of Nyquil. ;)
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Strange :confused:...sad:( ...*sigh*:eek:
crazy that we both went through paperwork today. i didn't even read mine... form letter with both of our names regurgitated every page or two. stamped and dated. whavves.

no pomp. no ceremony.

i've been having what you're having with sassy but for different reasons. i get hit really hard by NYE. which is odd because i don't hold much in store for that day and it wasn't a big deal for me and xw. and yet... i guess it's more of a couples holiday than xmas. a sort of fake anniversary. or THE "anniversary" as it were. So it was odd for me to be wrestling with that 3rd month type of misery at the doorstep of freedom. some sort of cosmic windup.

still pissed about the card she sent me. grrr.

welcome to the other side of the mountain. let's kick some life into this old forum.
 

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Man don't leave us high and dry over there. It sucks that you "graduated" but we still need your mentoring :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
i'm not gone Soca... just more removed. for instance, it hasn't stopped me from flirting with SpunkySpunky. and i still keep an eye on you and bryane and a few others but i don't have the energy to take on new heartbreak at the moment.

besides, graduation is hardly the merit badge you imply it is. maybe it is. i'm just too close to the blast zone at the moment.
 

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I wish I had something uplifting and eloquent to say. Sadly, I do not. I was supposed to sign my papers yesterday, now moved to next week. So sick of lawyers and fighting with nutless. For some reason, I think I'm not going to be sad when my papers are finalized. I'm so sick of thinking about divorce. It might be nice to think about something else. I don't know what the he11 that will be though.

Anyway, thinking about you.:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Anyway, thinking about you.:)
Hey hotstuff, looks like yesterday was loaded for a lot of us. :(

thanks for stopping by to visit. i think you'll find, like many of us, that things get MUCH better after the signing. The pre-signing dread is no fun. After you sign you get a reprieve until the actual docs come.
 

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i have been officially divorced for 8 months now (holy [email protected] where did the time go?) im still down on occasion, not missing ex, but missing that "family life". Im guessing that doesn't go away for a long time.

nice to see you O, and that you are doing well
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