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My wife lived maybe a crisis, at 30, not sure, and then found the Shades of Grey books and just went crazy. She opened up sexually, we grew really close together, she told me of all her thoughts and perceptions on sexuality, and things have been great. I am HD and she used to be LD, but this has now changed, she is now HD, as she has confided in me what she wants to do. We have bought toys, gone on 3 month binges, pretty much done it all under the sun. She is now 33 and I am 38, we have 3 kids, less than 7 years old. We have been to strip clubs together and also visited just to look at some BDSM sex clubs, crazy what goes on in there. I don’t care for the BDSM stuff, but she loves it. So I do it for her, I am more vanilla, but I can be aggressive, which she likes. She sleeps naked and basically I can get it anytime, anyplace at any frequency and so can she, we are each other HO’s. She is a great mom and the best wife in the world; we love and respect each other greatly.
So this brings me to this issue, she drank a bit the other day after the kids went to sleep and was very kinky. After the kink, she asked me about my fantasy and you all can guess I am a guy; it’s a threesome with her and another woman. She knows this and won’t do it, because she won’t share me, but asked about my second. That’s easy, not sure if it’s the same for others, but I would love to see my wife making out with another woman and sucking each other breasts. They then both provide oral to me, one on my p!nis and the other on my b0lls, that’s heaven for men, at least for me. I then finish myself off on both of them while they kiss. This is the hottest imagery that comes to mind after a threesome, more than any porn or anything else. And it’s not me and 2 other women, that doesn’t do it for me, my wife has to be in it. What blows me away is that she confided that she has been curios about being with another woman, she won’t elaborate, just says she has felt curious in the past. So she said yes, that she’s willing to do this for me, of her own free will, as long as I don’t touch the OW. I asked her the following day and we have discussed it at length and we are both crystal clear on the details and boundaries. We actually tried it while in the Caribbean a few months ago, but couldn’t execute. So I brought up the idea of hiring an escort and she was ok with that, that’s more direct than trying it at a club and more controlled.
Anyway here are my issues, I dated her for 1 year and have been married for 13 years. We are both educated and intelligent; and I have thought thorough the pros and cons. Our relationship id very solid. First I would like to hear from anyone that has done something like this? How did it go, how did you feel afterwards, both partners? Anyone else close to this, realizing a fantasy or has experience with bringing in a 3rd person the marriage for 1 experience? Please provide details and the experiences, not just open-ended opinions. I have been reading this list for years, so I am clear on all the failed threesome experiences and bringing a 3rd party to the marriage. This is much more controlled and limited. Pardon the length.
 

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First thing that came to mind was a girl i knew who had a herpes outbreak all in her mouth and throat. It was awful.
Hopefully the prostitute you get doesnt have this.
 

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Never had this experience nor want to but anything I've ever read about it bringing brought into a marriage never ended well. Usually lots of doubt & trust issues developed in the marriage but just relaying what I've seen & read.
 

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Though some may beg to differ, chances are very high that this will not end well.
 

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While it sounds amazing and is obviously every guy's fantasy (mine included), I would tread very carefully when it is your wife and mother of your children involved. This can take on a life of it's own and the road may be where neither of you want to go.

Just curious as to some of the details as to your attempt in the Caribbean. Thx.
 

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If you've clearly established your boundaries and are both into it I don't see why not. I would make sure that you make a pact should either one of you wish to back out at any point you can do so no questions asked.
 

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Ack. Another one.

If you search around here and do some reading, you'll see that this comes up about every two weeks, and the advice is almost overwhelmingly NOT to do it. There are a few on here who have and who claim it was 'fine' but I would really like to hear from them in a year, five years etc to see whether it didn't come back to bite them in the butt.

There's a thread here that talks about it.

Also, what's the fun for you if you 'don't touch' the other woman?? That isn't going to fulfill what you described as your fantasy.
 

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There's a reason the phrase "Fantasy vs. reality" exists.

In fantasy, no consequences, no "next day after the thrill", no secondary thoughts exist. Fantasy is about the moment and only the moment.

Reality is different. The consequences and the thoughts that follow are usually bigger than the actual activity.

Some people can live in an open marriage but understand, like ANYTHING else, this is a slippery slope. If you get this, then why can't your wife then make out with another man? Why can't she give oral to a man while you screw her?

Sit down and do a pros and cons list. I know it sounds too clinical for sex but definitely do it.

Pros - Have 1 more form of hot sex (as if you don't have enough)
Cons - HAHAHA I'll let you fill it in because it's too long for me.
 

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Reality and fantasy exist on separate planes. This starts opening up all sorts of issues. What if she likes oral much better from this woman than you're able to give her? What if the line gets crossed and you do touch her and like that better than your wife (or your wife thinks she does).

My recommendation - go to a strip club together, check out the dancers then go home and continue things via fantasy of talking about who was hot, etc. As soon as you introduce another person in your sex life, things tend to spiral out of control.
 

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She's giving you your fantasy so she can have her fantasy.

Which will be having sex with another man.
Yes. This is a risk you may not have thought through. I would talk to her about what she wants in return. Make sure you don't take on a liability you can't handle.
 

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How is it 'for him' when he isn't even allowed to touch the OW?? :scratchhead:
 

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So she said yes, that she’s willing to do this for me, of her own free will, as long as I don’t touch the OW. I asked her the following day and we have discussed it at length and we are both crystal clear on the details and boundaries.
This sounds like he just gets to watch. It sure seems to rule out any oral sex. I suppose he can masturbate while watching.

He could also in the heat of the moment ignore the boundaries set by his wife.
 

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My wife lived maybe a crisis, at 30, not sure, and then found the Shades of Grey books and just went crazy. She opened up sexually, we grew really close together, she told me of all her thoughts and perceptions on sexuality, and things have been great. I am HD and she used to be LD, but this has now changed, she is now HD, as she has confided in me what she wants to do. We have bought toys, gone on 3 month binges, pretty much done it all under the sun. She is now 33 and I am 38, we have 3 kids, less than 7 years old. We have been to strip clubs together and also visited just to look at some BDSM sex clubs, crazy what goes on in there. I don’t care for the BDSM stuff, but she loves it. So I do it for her, I am more vanilla, but I can be aggressive, which she likes. She sleeps naked and basically I can get it anytime, anyplace at any frequency and so can she, we are each other HO’s. She is a great mom and the best wife in the world; we love and respect each other greatly.
So this brings me to this issue, she drank a bit the other day after the kids went to sleep and was very kinky. After the kink, she asked me about my fantasy and you all can guess I am a guy; it’s a threesome with her and another woman. She knows this and won’t do it, because she won’t share me, but asked about my second. That’s easy, not sure if it’s the same for others, but I would love to see my wife making out with another woman and sucking each other breasts. They then both provide oral to me, one on my p!nis and the other on my b0lls, that’s heaven for men, at least for me. I then finish myself off on both of them while they kiss. This is the hottest imagery that comes to mind after a threesome, more than any porn or anything else. And it’s not me and 2 other women, that doesn’t do it for me, my wife has to be in it. What blows me away is that she confided that she has been curios about being with another woman, she won’t elaborate, just says she has felt curious in the past. So she said yes, that she’s willing to do this for me, of her own free will, as long as I don’t touch the OW. I asked her the following day and we have discussed it at length and we are both crystal clear on the details and boundaries. We actually tried it while in the Caribbean a few months ago, but couldn’t execute. So I brought up the idea of hiring an escort and she was ok with that, that’s more direct than trying it at a club and more controlled.
Anyway here are my issues, I dated her for 1 year and have been married for 13 years. We are both educated and intelligent; and I have thought thorough the pros and cons. Our relationship id very solid. First I would like to hear from anyone that has done something like this? How did it go, how did you feel afterwards, both partners? Anyone else close to this, realizing a fantasy or has experience with bringing in a 3rd person the marriage for 1 experience? Please provide details and the experiences, not just open-ended opinions. I have been reading this list for years, so I am clear on all the failed threesome experiences and bringing a 3rd party to the marriage. This is much more controlled and limited. Pardon the length.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/sex-marriage/58606-threesomes-so-fourth.html

Hope you enjoy!
 

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Sorry, no experience with it. But I'm going on record to state that it's a bad idea to bring a third into your marriage. I don't care how "controlled" the hook up would be nor do I care about how emotionally secure, mature or sophisticated you and your wife thinks that you are. The bottom line is that a 3rd person in the bedroom is playing with fire. Even if you have a successful hook up, it's still a risk that isn't worth taking. JMHO, and I'll stop posting in your thread unless you engage me directly with a response.
 

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first: at one time your age i was crazy about the idea which never happened due to wife never liked it and then all kind of sick fantasies filled my head till this moment :) ,,, fantasy (sick one) should stay a fantasy.
second: you both sound like a simple people with spontaneous attitude , and this
where the problem come from, the emotions which will take place when you are engaged in this extra ordinary experience shall have a negative reaction on you both it will be very shocking for both of you and nobody can predict what will happen after, this is very risking move from your side for little pleasure period totally not worth it, family life is the greatest gift for all of us better we maintain healthy and strong, finaly this might work for some people but definitly not in your case ,,,, have a happy and secured life :)
 

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Don't do this!
 
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