Talk About Marriage banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
1 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I’m in a dark place right now and I’m really angry. It is a long story so I’ll just hit the main points and hopefully I can get some good advice. I caught my wife cheating back in 2014. Of all people to be with, she chose her boss. At the time I was working 2 jobs and going to school. I couldn’t compete with him since he spent all their working hours together and he had a 6 figure salary. She was 28 and he was 44. He was married with 2 kids. Anyway, I confronted her and she said she would end it. She broke down crying and was very believable. She said it was only emotional and they never had sex. I took her word for it and tried to move on.

I felt something wasn’t right so I started to snoop. 2 weeks later, I caught them in the act. They were in her car at a park a few miles away from her job. He jumped in his car and tried to run. I chased him down in my car. He eventually pulled over and got out. I put my hands on him and wanted to kill him. His saving grace was him telling me things went too far and that he was sorry. I always think back to that day and wonder why I didn’t decapitate him. I’m glad I didn’t but I don’t know why. Mind you, I never saw them have sex but there was enough evidence to prove something went on. My wife kept telling me nothing happened and that it was all in my head. We tried counseling and that made things worse. I felt broken and disrespected. At the end of the day, I filed for divorce. I found his wife through Facebook and told her what happened. She cried but they stayed together. I wanted to ruin his marriage like he ruined mine but it didn’t work. I said F it at the time.

The divorce was nasty. She wanted the house and kids. I said I didn’t screw up the marriage so I’m not giving up both. She didn’t push back so I threatened to take the affair to HR so they could both be fired. In order to save her job, she decided to let me keep the house. She kept the kids which were 3 and 7 at the time.

Since 2014, she’s been at the same job and got promoted from assistant to manager. She went from 28k a year to 53k. He’s still there as the director. I know this by looking at their website. I’ve since remarried and I pay my ex 800 a month in child support. It took me a few years to get over the anger and hurt but I eventually got better. Bringing it to present day, she’s just bought a house that she can’t afford. I make 20k more than her even with child support and even I can’t afford that house. It’s a brand new 400k house. It’s in a great neighborhood and the kids love it. The schools are good and that made me happy. I have to admit that I was feeling jealous about the house but since my kids were happy, I was happy. I’ve been there several times since they moved in and I’ve never gotten out the car since they always come out. I noticed a grey truck in the driveway and I asked the boys who it belonged to. They told me the name which I won’t mention but it was the same name as her boss. It’s a common enough name so I left it at that. The truck was there several days and stayed the night too.

So my sons were over yesterday to my home and I started questioning my youngest. To make a long story short, the man she is seeing now is none other than her boss, the man that helped ruin my marriage. My sons don’t know what happened with the marriage but my youngest gave me his first and last name. He confirmed a Facebook picture that I showed him. He said that he spends time with mommy and sleeps in her room. Now I don’t care who she screws and she can screw Santa Claus for all I care, I’m just upset that out of all people, it’s him. I looked at his Facebook along with his wife’s and it looks like they are still married. Recent photos and everything. I can’t believe my ex is that stupid to bring this man around my kids. The last time I saw him, I could have killed him. It takes some major balls for him to even be around the same area as me after what they did.

My best friend had to talk to me down last night. I was at the point where I wanted go find him and do something terrible. I’ve thought about taking pictures and sending it to HR. I’ve thought about sending it to his wife. I’ve thought about confronting him and beating the **** out of him. I know it’s none of my business who she sees but I don’t want it to be him. I don’t even think I could control myself if I saw him again. I feel like everyone is giving me a big **** you and laughing at me. I don’t want this man around my children.

On a deeper level,I know that he helped her get that house. I know that if I get them fired, she’d lose the house and my kids will ultimately suffer. My friend told me karma will get them but **** that, I feel like I want blood. I’m tired of losing this battle. With all that said, what should I do with this information? Can I get custody of my kids if I can prove that she’s having a relationship with a married man that ruined my marriage? Is it worth it to get a pi to follow them so I have more proof? I will say that I feel better knowing that I wasn’t second guessing myself about them being together. These past years, I wondered if they really were physical and if I jumped the gun on the divorce. Now I know I wasn’t crazy after all like she told me. Sorry for the long winded post but any advice would be appreciated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,916 Posts
Wow...I can understand not wanting them to "win" after what they cost you, but it's time to let that go. I can't imagine that your current wife would be happy to hear you're allowing them to take up this much space in your brain. You need to let this go...she's a tramp and he's a scumbag. End of story. Be the better man.

You are worried about your kids and that makes sense. How will they react if their Dad ends up in jail for assault? Or you end up divorced again because you couldn't let your ex-wife go? You have a nice life now...enjoy it.

Get some counseling to help you move on. That's the best thing I can recommend at this point.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,802 Posts
Go find some dog **** and put it next to you in the bed beside you every night and you would have a better wife then the one you did.

In other words quit crying over someone who is worth less then dog **** to your life.

Seriously dude move on. People like your wife are a trap not someone who brings joy to anyone's life in the long run.

By the way to follow my analogy she gets to sleep with the dog **** because that guy is the same as her, but she also is the ****.

You are better off, and she didn't win, she is ****.
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top