[angie13]

Re an earlier thread I posted "Texting his ex when I moved to be with him".. I broke up with my partner 3 weeks ago. He has been extremely apologetic, and genuinely bereft.. (as was/am I). He says and will do absolutely anything to have me back with him, totally changing his priorities and realises that one's life partner whom you want to spend the rest of your life with should be the number one priority which he didnt get right and regrets terribly..he is willing to move to my country even though it means making his working life complicated and difficult and he will be away from his grown daughters. He has said he would spend most of the time with me here in my country but because of work committments (and his daughters to some degree) he would probably have to spend about 1 week to 10 days a month in his own country with the view to eventually living here permanently. This all sounds great in theory and I really appreciate the huge fight he is putting up to get me back and believe he really loves me (as I still do him). However, the doubts I have are. 1) will I be able to trust him when he goes back regularly to his own country...2) will i get past all the hurt and anger I feel right now 3) will i open myself to having my heart broken all over again 4) if i am having doubts then would it be right to give him one more chance at this time 5) i know people can change but how will i know if he has or not - by trying again and giving him that one more chance ..I am upset most of the time and cant understand why I am now confused..I finished with him but I have a little voice telling me that he/we deserve one more chance to recapture what we had but on the other hand I am still hurting..

 

[3Xnocharm]

Dont do it.

 

[alte Dame]

I would put off the decision. Time has a way of clarifying our thoughts and feelings. Tell him you will give him a response in a month. Then keep the communication to a minimum and start to let things settle in your mind. You will probably find that you simply don't trust him. You will assume that he is spending the month in touch with the ex. This will be a harbinger of your feelings about his week to 10 days back at home when he moves to your country. All anxiety, all the time.

This is only my prediction. You could find that you experience some peaceful resolution re your feelings about his faithfulness. In any case, you would be on a firmer footing for making such an important decision.

 

[Blacksmith01]

when there's any doubt there is no doubt. Don't do it.

 

[Thorburn]

Your heart strings are being pulled by a big player. Logistically this is fraught with many issues. How will he account for his time when he is back home? So he promises you what? That he will be gone almost 1/2 the month to do what?

Your heart is being played my dear. When was the last time he cheated on you? Was it two years ago? I think not.

And me thinks you will be making a bigger mistake if you agree.

My advice is you go no contact on him. I mean cut him off. No goodbyes, etc. You are in for a world of hurt if you continue with this dude.