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Discussion Starter #1
My ex just called to tell me has lymphoma...no more details yet, just that he has had a lump visible in the groin area for a little over a year, he thought it was a hernia and just got it checked out today.

I am very sad for me and my children. Our 15 year old son is having a very difficult time with the divorce already.

I am so upset and confused about my feelings....not even sure if I am making sense.
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:( I'm sorry to hear that. It's always a mix of emotions when things like this happen. When my dad got cancer, my mom went and sat with him for a long time. They hadn't spoken in 8 years, and before that it had been 11 years.

I know that if my ex got sick, I'd be there for him. He's my child's father and despite all the crap, he's family. I said the same about my dad.

I hope you find some peace and answers.
 

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Poor guy, that will be tough fo rhim to deal with, I pray that he recovers well and soon!

For you I think you have a good deal of work in store to support him, by supporting your kids. You already mentioned the 15 yr old and the issues there, so now will be time for you the Mother to be the Rock for the kids. This will help the Father to not worry more than he already will have to.

Why are you sad? Cancer is as much a part of this life as anything else, it's all around us and 1 in 10 will get it in their lifetime.

Instead of being "sad" for yourself or the kids, you need to get on board with the local Cancer Society efforts, get involved with your kids...teach them, yourself and your EX to say, "**** Cancer!!"

This is a wonderful oppurtunity to show strength, to contribute for a cause that has no end in sight. Your kids, yourself and your EX are now in a battle that is waged everyday around the world...but the war is being won!

Take heart!! Sieze the day to rally for your EX and muster the strength of others in your friends and family, the community to offer your EX and your kids the BEST possible way to deal with this...FIGHT BACK!

Your local Cancer Society has ALL the resources you need to make this a successful campaign, and along the way you will meet the strongest and most fearlessly dedicated people you will have ever met. This will leave a permanent impression upon your children and should give you the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing when your time to serve the fight came.

My Father passed before my eyes, his battle lost in only 3 months, but I fight on for ALL the Father's, Mother's , Brothers and Sisters...Fight for the Cure. Start today!

Relay For Life
 

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A quick update...it is stage 4 lymphoma, in his bone marrow, spleen and liver as well as large lymph node tumors. The kids are handling it very well, we are treating it as hopeful. He starts chemo tomorrow.
 

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Just wanted to say how sorry I am. I know things like this can throw a wrench into your emotions and all. I pray it doesn't happen to me. I just don't know if I can handle something like that.

Cancer runs deep in my stbxw's family. Her mother died from cancer when she was 5/6. So yes, i'm very scared to go through that if it happens.

I will pray for you guys.
 

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Thank you, it is VERY difficult right now. I had not come to terms with my own feelings following the divorce, now this. I do not really know how to handle it emotionally. The only thing that I can do is to be there for my children and help them as much as I can. People say that I should feel better because one of the tumors is in his brain and has affected his thinking lately. People think that I should feel better that he asked for the divorce and moved away from the kids while this was going on, but the damage is done and I can't undo how I feel. He is distancing himself even more from the children right now....ugh...
 

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A quick update...it is stage 4 lymphoma, in his bone marrow, spleen and liver as well as large lymph node tumors. The kids are handling it very well, we are treating it as hopeful. He starts chemo tomorrow.
I am so very sorry. I know a 7th grade boy that is going through the same thing right now but I think they got it earlier than this.

My heart goes out to your family. All you can really do right now is be there for your children and support your ex when he will accept it.

Sending prayers your way.
 

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Went through this a few years ago with my ex. Do what you feel you can. Be a friend.

I have some regrets for not being more involved and being more pushy about certain things. I am in different country so flying back wasn't a simple thing.

I don't have any more advice than that. Support the kids and be a friend to him.

And in my exs case he was cancer free for about a year and then it came back and he didn't survive.
 
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