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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So my ex and I had an amicable divorce and stay friends. However since my entire family is in Europe and hers is in the US (within 15 minutes of her....she't Italian what can I say..bounday issues and one of our reasons for divorcing but thats a whole other story), I ended up dating shortly after our divorce. I needed some sort of support system and international travel on a whim isn't too feasible.
Now not only did she make me out to be the bad guy and understandably she was hurt by me dating (she was the one who wanted divorce), she kept claiming anger over me dating etc.
Last week she asks me to help her install antivirun on her computer (BAD Idea, never look at your exes computer). Turns out she's been not only dating but engaging in cyber sex with one of the guys that used to be in her circle of friends that I knew. Even further, there's another male in her circle of friends that has slept with all of her 4 closest friends (they all went to high school together) but she claims she never slept with him. That also seems to be false as I've heard other wise. Now she's a good mom but I'm feeling somewhat angry.
On the contrary I also recall everything she put me through and I optimistically say well now she's the other guys problem!
I will have the kids this weekend but I just can't help but think about what she's doing with him LOL.........am I crazy? lol
 

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You're divorced (you don't say for how long), you've been dating already, and you were snooping in her email (or else that's a VERY complete antivirus system you put in). Get over it already.

C
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
You're divorced (you don't say for how long), you've been dating already, and you were snooping in her email (or else that's a VERY complete antivirus system you put in). Get over it already.

C
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Not saying I'm looking to getting back together with her. She did a whole lot more than snoop on me........and I won't even get into it.
Don't villify me for dating if you read how it happened (I'm from the UK and no family over here, shrinks worked for a bit.....and say what you want but it must be a European "thing" to move on, however a little Americanization gets in the "way".

Needless to say I was snooping because it's only human since we both had access to each others accounts for years. She did the same and still does to an account or two that never changed much. Divorced about 2 years with two kids.

I'm over it, but no need for the villification. I sometimes wonder why you gals tend to just automatically align / defend / support each other without knowing much.
Sorry but I just had to give you *hit for that.
 

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I'm not "villifying" anyone, and I'm not a "gal". I'm a guy, separated for the last two years. And I've been seeing someone since shortly after moving out. I've posted that publically a number of times, so I'm not hiding that fact.

You want to date, go ahead and date. But again, you're divorced. You need to let go of your wife and what she's doing in her spare time so you can move on with your life. The sooner you can both do that, the better off I suspect you'll be.
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm not "villifying" anyone, and I'm not a "gal". I'm a guy, separated for the last two years. And I've been seeing someone since shortly after moving out. I've posted that publically a number of times, so I'm not hiding that fact.

You want to date, go ahead and date. But again, you're divorced. You need to let go of your wife and what she's doing in her spare time so you can move on with your life. The sooner you can both do that, the better off I suspect you'll be.
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Oh sorry for some reason you sounded like a gal lol, (No offense at all I misread) :).
I've already let go of her, it's only human to discover after 2 yrs of being divorced that the person you spent 11 yrs with who was a prude with you but turned out they were having cyber sex with their friends behind your back.
So pardon me for being momentarily affected by it.
 

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Aston,

I'm divorced for almost two years now with two children and I found out that cutting the "friends" ties works wonders for staying out of sticky situation like the one you are in. I was married for 19 years and together amlost 23 so there were a lot of things we had to cut.

It might be time to start telling her to ask some of her new friends for help instead of going to you. Heck sounds over due to me.

She seems to be using you as a crutch and an easy solution to problems. To me that is one of the benefits of being married or seeing someone, which you are not. Plus if she is the one who wanted the divorce than it is time to pull that plug as well.

Just my $0.02.

Shoeguy
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Aston,

I'm divorced for almost two years now with two children and I found out that cutting the "friends" ties works wonders for staying out of sticky situation like the one you are in. I was married for 19 years and together amlost 23 so there were a lot of things we had to cut.

It might be time to start telling her to ask some of her new friends for help instead of going to you. Heck sounds over due to me.

She seems to be using you as a crutch and an easy solution to problems. To me that is one of the benefits of being married or seeing someone, which you are not. Plus if she is the one who wanted the divorce than it is time to pull that plug as well.

Just my $0.02.

Shoeguy
Thanks Shoeguy, your analysis definitely puts my thought process into perspective. Time to cut those ties and stop making myself available in the interest of the kids. Afterall I don't get any help from her.....even when they are with me.
 
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