Talk About Marriage banner

81 - 100 of 131 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
121 Posts
Grab her phone. Say “Hey babe my phone died and I need to make a quick call. What’s your passcode?”

If she refuses to give it to you, assume the worst, but don’t say anything. Plant multiple VAR’s, GPS trackers, the works. If she does give it to you, do a quick exam of her text messages but also check her phone at a later time to see if she’s now changed the passcode.

Critical to keep your suspicions to yourself until you have hard evidence.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
170 Posts
Discussion Starter #83
Grab her phone. Say “Hey babe my phone died and I need to make a quick call. What’s your passcode?”

If she refuses to give it to you, assume the worst, but don’t say anything. Plant multiple VAR’s, GPS trackers, the works. If she does give it to you, do a quick exam of her text messages but also check her phone at a later time to see if she’s now changed the passcode.

Critical to keep your suspicions to yourself until you have hard evidence.
Great ideas
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
170 Posts
Discussion Starter #85
Shaka...

That only drives a cheater to hide even better and more...

Wise choice cheaters can be really skilled at denial and gaslighting, it's ok to wait a few months to gather evidence rather than wait years or decades with a sophisticated cheater. Eyes open mouth shut.

Also if deep down your W thinks cheating is ok it's just a matter of time and oppourtunity before it happens, better to find out before too much emotional and financial entanglement.
Thank you
Bwhahahahahaha. Seriously ?
Exactly Marc
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,608 Posts
Afterwards you’ll get this so be prepared.

Blame-shifting is when a person does something wrong or inappropriate, and then dumps the blame on someone else to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
19,559 Posts
Trust your gut. The gut rarely lies. It doesn't try to trick you the way your brain does, or lull you into a false sense of security the way your heart does. You know your wife better than anyone, and you know when her behavior is off, and right now she's giving off more red flags than a communist car auction. So like everyone says, go deep and go stealth. Investigate and probe as discreetly as possible. Gather as much evidence as you can (if there is any) and when and only when you have undeniable, tangible proof she is cheating, do you confront.

Be patient. Trust your gut. Your gut will tell you when it is time to lower the boom.
 

·
Registered
Pre-marriage
Joined
·
13 Posts
Immediate talk to a counselor not him/her. It is time for you, Your Time, to get this worked out; get the counselor to counsel you:
  • How you feel that he/she should not had done it;
  • The insensitive defiance of the other person;
  • Home and/or work derailment or change.

And prepare for a divorce.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,088 Posts
There is no amount of monitoring that will stop cheating, so don't wear yourself out.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Marc878

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,024 Posts
What's your next move Shaka or are you going to just let it ride?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,185 Posts
Ok so I"m on board with the majority that say sounds like she is cheating. But I want to point out. I used to spend hours after work talking with a co-worker that I was friends with. But we didn't really meet up outside of work so sometimes we'd spend a couple hours just talking after work. It was a women FWIW.

But the tracker and the var should help clarify things

There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,215 Posts
There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.
There is a difference between you talking with your friend and a SO talking to a single person of the opposite sex for hours. Single guys for the most part are after one thing in this situation, sex.
While I have occasionally stayed late talking to a male never the same male for lots of time. It is usually a new employee that I'm simply helping settle in. And no it couldn't be done during work hours cause I"m a teacher. During work hours I teach.

Just curious. I missed the part where another male at work was mentioned. I saw he figured out that she got off work a couple hours before coming home. I was simply saying it is possible to get off work and spend a few hours before coming home. He has already ruled out Lowe's and shopping and such. I also can spend hours looking at plants. Sometimes I buy a bunch sometimes I buy none.

But as I said sounds suspicious and he should check it out.

For me I used to carpool with my husband who got of later than me. I'd go visiting other teachers usually just my one good friend but often any new teacher as the first year can be overwhelming and you never know who to ask. It got to where he would come find me in my friends room cause I'd miss his text telling me he was on his way. It's a good thing he loves me so much :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,185 Posts
While I have occasionally stayed late talking to a male never the same male for lots of time. It is usually a new employee that I'm simply helping settle in. And no it couldn't be done during work hours cause I"m a teacher. During work hours I teach.

Just curious. I missed the part where another male at work was mentioned. I saw he figured out that she got off work a couple hours before coming home. I was simply saying it is possible to get off work and spend a few hours before coming home. He has already ruled out Lowe's and shopping and such. I also can spend hours looking at plants. Sometimes I buy a bunch sometimes I buy none.

But as I said sounds suspicious and he should check it out.

For me I used to carpool with my husband who got of later than me. I'd go visiting other teachers usually just my one good friend but often any new teacher as the first year can be overwhelming and you never know who to ask. It got to where he would come find me in my friends room cause I'd miss his text telling me he was on his way. It's a good thing he loves me so much :)
“She is a very shy homebody. Doesn't have female friends here. She has one make friend a co worker.”

I think “make” should be “male”.

Loving someone has nothing to do with trusting someone. They don’t always go hand in hand. One can love someone else with every ounce of their being but not trust a word that they speak.

Some also love another so much that they turn a blind eye to cheating and whisper “as long as they’re happy”.

I think most start out trusting blindly thinking that their spouse would never cheat, they aren’t that type. Then are broken to pieces when they find out.

It isn’t because you are loved so much, it’s because your SO trusts you. Then again you’re SO could be saying “as long as she is happy”.

I am in no way saying that you are cheating. I am only saying loving and trusting someone doesn’t always go hand in hand.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
170 Posts
Discussion Starter #100
She worked in medical research n has done a lot of medical work in the past Including in countries where tropical diseases were rampant etc.
Her co worker has the Corona..

She wants us to swing by n drop off ensure shakes at his door step tomorrow.
She also mentioned going to check on him. I said why would you visit someone with Corona n get back In car with me n expose me.
Her reply was
" I'd not expose you. I'd probably stay therein another room".
I'm flabbergasted.
Someone explain this to me
 
81 - 100 of 131 Posts
Top