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116 Posts
Get your over the hump of no love? No sexual desire from you from the person you truely want to be with and love? Getting that person to feel the same or stronger about you compared to when you first started dating? From the male perspective we always complain about what the W isn't doing, what she use to do, how she use to react, what use to love is now resentment (underlying), and the person we still desire maybe more than in the beginning doesn't have the same desire for us. So what happened to fix it or make thing better?
For me I am trying every outlet, resource, every way possible before I say "you know what, I tried, I did everything and if this is where we still are then this is no longer about us anymore". My first thing was looking back at what I provided in the beginning stages. I looked at some old pics of myself and I was probably 10-15 pounds lighter than I am now (excellent chest to waist ratio). Im not bad now compared to four years ago but I have definitely gained inched in my waist and Im not as cut, Im still muscular though. I decided to start Insanity and give it all Ive got for 60 days.
Then I remember when I first met my W we didnt have our son.... It's really freaking hard to maintain a sexual relationship with a child in the picture especially when you're the father. I dont know why when single mothers date its still as hard but its a huge difference from an outside man and the inside man. Im judged based on our son now versus just myself. I try to the be best Dad I can be but still hasnt gotten the panties wet....
We started counseling a few weeks ago. Can I say its been helpful? Somewhat. I think we are going for the right issues, maybe wrong therapist? I just dont feel like she's digging or asking enough questions from my W. Its too much general and not enough specifics for me.
Ever seen Fireproof? Our counselor suggested it, great movie! Theres a thing in the movie that H uses in the to get his W back, "40 day love dare". It's Christian themed but you can still do it if youre not religious. It's pretty much going each day for 40 days doing something for your spouse showing that you care, unconditional love. I have decided to take this route just to see what could happen, if she would fall again. I downloaded this app on my android called "30 day relationship challenge". Its another great one and I started a few days ago. She has responded well so far but we will at the end of it what changes have occured. Theres some really great apps on android for marriage or relationship building, they even have message reminders.
Just trying to get an idea of what good has to be done to get the sex life back on track. Most of the posts I see on here, guys complain about this one topic. You never hear "she cant cook, shes unorganized, she doesnt clean or do laundry, and on top of the she doesnt want sex". Its always we're happy in every area except that one. I'm just going to give it all Ive got. I do have a deadline if everything I have tried and there is no change. I wont tell her that but I have to be realistic. I know its for better or for worst but somebody should have said what if shes just not into you? Thats how I feel sometimes, like Im wasting precious time that I will never get back, you never get time back, cant make up for it either. Im still confused as to when I hear about women complaining about little to no sex in their marriage. Im like either that guy has some serious mental problems or ED. Its extremely out of the norm for a man to feel that way especially if he is healthy.
For me I am trying every outlet, resource, every way possible before I say "you know what, I tried, I did everything and if this is where we still are then this is no longer about us anymore". My first thing was looking back at what I provided in the beginning stages. I looked at some old pics of myself and I was probably 10-15 pounds lighter than I am now (excellent chest to waist ratio). Im not bad now compared to four years ago but I have definitely gained inched in my waist and Im not as cut, Im still muscular though. I decided to start Insanity and give it all Ive got for 60 days.
Then I remember when I first met my W we didnt have our son.... It's really freaking hard to maintain a sexual relationship with a child in the picture especially when you're the father. I dont know why when single mothers date its still as hard but its a huge difference from an outside man and the inside man. Im judged based on our son now versus just myself. I try to the be best Dad I can be but still hasnt gotten the panties wet....
We started counseling a few weeks ago. Can I say its been helpful? Somewhat. I think we are going for the right issues, maybe wrong therapist? I just dont feel like she's digging or asking enough questions from my W. Its too much general and not enough specifics for me.
Ever seen Fireproof? Our counselor suggested it, great movie! Theres a thing in the movie that H uses in the to get his W back, "40 day love dare". It's Christian themed but you can still do it if youre not religious. It's pretty much going each day for 40 days doing something for your spouse showing that you care, unconditional love. I have decided to take this route just to see what could happen, if she would fall again. I downloaded this app on my android called "30 day relationship challenge". Its another great one and I started a few days ago. She has responded well so far but we will at the end of it what changes have occured. Theres some really great apps on android for marriage or relationship building, they even have message reminders.
Just trying to get an idea of what good has to be done to get the sex life back on track. Most of the posts I see on here, guys complain about this one topic. You never hear "she cant cook, shes unorganized, she doesnt clean or do laundry, and on top of the she doesnt want sex". Its always we're happy in every area except that one. I'm just going to give it all Ive got. I do have a deadline if everything I have tried and there is no change. I wont tell her that but I have to be realistic. I know its for better or for worst but somebody should have said what if shes just not into you? Thats how I feel sometimes, like Im wasting precious time that I will never get back, you never get time back, cant make up for it either. Im still confused as to when I hear about women complaining about little to no sex in their marriage. Im like either that guy has some serious mental problems or ED. Its extremely out of the norm for a man to feel that way especially if he is healthy.