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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I'm glad there is a place, where am not alone, and comforting am not completely nuts.

Well here's my story:
Been married 7 years, children, dog, fish.
4 years back things went a little south after I decided I wanted access to my husbands phone, emails, etc. I know that is prying into his privacy and such. Well what I found was a horrible shocker to me, and it just worse after another incident, we have two vehicles, and he was going out asked me to start the car because it was super cold, I went out to do so, he told me not to touch anything in the car, I go into the glove compartment find perfume and condoms... needles to say his lame excuse helping a friend out.

We have issues as well due to how he uses social networking, for dating purposes, called him on that told me I was crazy. 4 months later he finally got a chance to travel, instead of saying "honey let's take a trip, we deserve this..." I know I'm being stupid, he turns around says "I need time to see my buds, have some fun get away bla bla". he contacted all his previous NSA, give them a load of crap that his life stinks, and is married to some old efffin hag, one of them called him on it ( he told her they were going to get married and start fresh), and wrote to me to make sure we were DIVORCING! This is just a short of it, we spoke I suppose came to an agreement that we would get help work on it, we are humans and F***up sure.

That was more BS, he just kept on going and going. I had just had out last child and he was telling me he had business trip, called his bluff because his mistress let me know what he was up to they were going away to a romantic ski trip, all because he lied to her... I know really F**up. Anyways not to keep rambling on, i told him a couldn't anymore just to much, I'm not crazy, or imagining this S***.

He said to start over,and this time it would just be myself and him in this relationship, as a couple. Honest to goodness promise.

Yesterday I cracked the code to his phone by mistake in front of him he tripped out(A year ago he flipped out and told me to f*** off and go to hell, all because I made a very clear point on how paranoid he is about his phone, it was on our night table I put it on the main dinning table, he thought I took it with me he was having an EA at that time), well I found a message to an escort asking about prices, services, etc... His excuse " he is just curious..." I said one thing is googleing maybe looking, another is contacting them for where and how much, (as I mentioned before he has previous communication with such women be it free or paid so I don't know what his curiosity is).

He says am being distant, mistrusting, paranoid, all them good things, S*** i wonder why.

I printed a pre-divorce certificate, and tucked in his pillow.

I slept in our guest room, his response was "stop being ridiculous."

I do apologize, I know am just typing my story in strange nutshell, I know I have had my faults in this relationship, but not to the extreme he has gone.


My MIL says am being drastic by asking for a divorce, "think of the children...", I told her am no ones mop, and that's whom I think about.
 

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Really?! Divorce too drastic? In this case, I'd say that divorce needed to happen a long while ago. He has crossed all sorts of boundaries, disrespected you and your marriage, has no doubt had at least one affiar, has actively looked for escorts, etc...what else is there?

There is not one positive thing about this marriage that you are in. Get out and don't look back.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Enginerd, your right, that's what I've been trying to explain, it's been crazy how he does it makes me look like the snoopy invasive half, and get's all upset when we need to talk.
 

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Oh and things went south when he decided to use escorts and hook-up sites. They didn't go south when you figured it out. Stop blaming yourself. If he doesn't want to be married he should just tell you so.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Well I hope he gets the message loud and clear in about 45 min...

Thank you, to all of you, who took the time to read my nonsense, your responses are most appreciated.

:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Enginerd, your right, he should have said something, but I should have put my foot down years ago, I dunno where or when I became weak, I thought if I said something he would become hurt... I know I know... he never took into account the pain he has brought and destroyed our marriage. Well now he can have a fantastic time all alone
 

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Divorce this manipulative gas-lighter ASAP. He won't change. STDs are in your future as is more emotional pain, if you don't. Staying for the kids helps no one but him and his sl^t-brigade, not you and not the kids.
 
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I'd be the last person to suggest divorce, however if it's been so many years of this secretive behaviour with verbal/emotional abuse, then you're holding onto someone who just doesn't care.

If there is no trust, honesty and love, there is no marriage.
Either he gets on the path of sorting those things out or there is no point in going on like you are.
 

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I seeked escorts and other women due to my wife not being intimate. She left me to dry. Before hand I went on medications to control my frustrations and they made me not care anymore.

My side.... NO sex, intimacy
Her side... Stress over me starting a business and that killed her libido

The only thing that made us close was the intimacy. We were both very busy people.... when that crumbled. I crumbled. I am now off medication, I am seperated and there is no fixing my mistakes. I regret what I did so much that I tried overdosing to kill myself.

Life can be a mess. If he is not accountable at any time of the day he is misleading you.... if he is doing nothing he will prove that without hesitation regardless. My wife let me be and only when she saw that it was too late did she try to save anything.... I was already in too deep... My feeling is he is up to something...

Stop it now and save yourself years of misery.... good luck
 
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