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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it common for husbands to ask a friend to take care of their wives, like escorting them to dinner, when the husbands were away, so that she doesn't get lonely?

I saw it in some books and was wondering if this is common practice.

Thanks in advance.
 

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Is it common for husbands to ask a friend to take care of their wives, like escorting them to dinner, when the husbands were away, so that she doesn't get lonely?

I saw it in some books and was wondering if this is common practice.

Thanks in advance.
Can you say Pulp Fiction!

That's the only time I actually heard of such a thing and it didn't turn out too well for the wife.



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This happens in my circle of friends. If a guy and my wife are away, and there are important social events happening I might hang out with one of our female friends at an event. There have been times I have been away and there was a party going on and our friends made sure my wife was looked after. I guess my situation might be different at often these are group events but usually there are certain people who are on duty for others. For example there is one of our female friends I am particularly close to so it is a given when the circumstance arrives I'm her guy for a night. There's nothing weird about it were all close friends, heck we've seen each other naked (drunken skinny dipping at a lake house).

Our circle of friends are more like family so for us it's completely natural.
 

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I think it really depends on the nature of the friendship and whether or not the third party is a mutual friend between the couple.
Depending on the dynamic within the relationship it could either be from a very caring place, or potentially controlling one, too, so it really is up the individual how that arrangement would work out.

From what I've understood, a large deciding factor with this would be based on cultural, religious and, sometimes, generational practices, although I have heard from time to time a general sense of "hey, could you check in on so-and-so while I'm away? Make sure they're alright?" so I can see how that could easily happen.

I've only had a few experiences somewhat like this but since my husband's and my friends are one and the same it was always more like him reminding a friend of ours to check in to see if I needed any help or company. Growing up, though, I do remember hearing a lot of instances with this as just being considered the gentlemanly/polite thing to do. Again, probably depends heavily on cultural or generational factors.
 

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Last time I tried that with my ex fiancé was when I was in the Army. She ended up having sex with my friend due to growing close to each other. The problem is that when you get friendly that can often lead to sexual feelings especially when your husband is far away and will not come back for a few months. Stupid me did the same thing again by asking a group of my friends to include my girlfriend in their activities when I was gone. She had sex with two of them and when I got back she asked all three to gang bang her. I am not kidding about this.

They were two of my only relationships since I was 15 with my wife being the third. I was too trusting. Now I know not to trust men with your wife. When emotions come into play we tend to make bad decisions. Add some alcohol and you are asking for trouble. I have learned to have a healthy amount of mistrust in both women and men. Those who swear that their spouses would never cheat are the easiest ones to fool having known quite a few couples when I knew that either the husband or wife was cheating. Some guys brag about it.

No, I do not think it a good idea. You would be much safer hiring a professional escort than a friend. As a former Psychologist friend explained to me, when there is some kind of emotional feeling for a member of the opposite sex, even if just friendship, it can easily escalate to love or just lust. I had sex with many girls in my younger days and only one was a stranger to me. The others I knew from the neighborhood, school or from work. I can attest that friendship can easily turn to more. I have also had a few friends' wives hit on me when their husbands were out of town. One asked me to fix a computer for her and in a few minutes she was standing there naked asking me to join her in bed. I did not. Another friend asked his wife to give me a massage since she just got her Masseuse license. She tried to give me a happy ending. Another wife was kissing me and rubbing my crotch when I was helping her clean up after a party when her husband passed out from too much drinking. I know this will sound like a good thing, but it is not; woman seemed to want to have sex with me for some reason. No dating, just sex. They said I was hot but I never thought of myself that way. In any event, wives, fiancés and girlfriends of guys that I knew made it clear that they were willing to have sex with me. The worse part was when I refused and they got mad at me. You cannot win in a situation like that. They feel rejected and foolish and things are never the same again. When it comes to sex, keep a keen eye on your woman, even man for that matter.
 

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I don't think it is the norm but I am only using anecdotal evidence to reach that conclusion. Regardless, if it is an agreeable situation for you two, have at it.
 

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Is it common for husbands to ask a friend to take care of their wives, like escorting them to dinner, when the husbands were away, so that she doesn't get lonely?

I saw it in some books and was wondering if this is common practice.

Thanks in advance.

Are you trying to set her up on a date?

Really?

Well isn't that just ... precious.

Bless your heart.
 

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Are you trying to set her up on a date?

Really?

Well isn't that just ... precious.

Bless your heart.

I wish I knew your intentions/tone with these comments. They don't read well meaning to me and I hope that is just a reflection of myself and not your intent.
 

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You read about such things in historical novels sometimes. In the days before women could freely move about by themselves - without the aid and protection of a man - it wasn't uncommon for a male friend of the family to provide escort for a lady if her husband was unavailable and there were no male relatives at hand. But I think the last time it was a common thing was probably in the Edwardian era, prior to World War I. And even then, such things were only found among the upper classes.

In the modern world, one generally only finds a man asking his buddy to 'look after his wife' if it's the setup for a racy film, a romance novel where the husband is about to be tragically killed, or the little games that folks in open marriages play. Because to modern ears, it really is a bit of an invitation to the wife and friend to become far too close.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Growing up, though, I do remember hearing a lot of instances with this as just being considered the gentlemanly/polite thing to do. Again, probably depends heavily on cultural or generational factors.
Hi, do you have any specific examples of this. Thanks in advance.
 

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Hi, do you have any specific examples of this. Thanks in advance.
Off the top of my head, I remember my grandfather acting as an escort (I think a lot of people have forgotten what a neutral term that used to be in society) when a lady wanted to go out and about but wasn't comfortable being alone, especially when her own husband was not available. Places like the theater, restaurants, social events, etc. Mostly instances where my grandfather was known not to be her partner but merely stepping in as a friend to help out.

Back then especially women were not encouraged to go out and about on their own, especially if they were known to be married, it didn't look well on her character. That's what I meant mostly by there being a generational aspect to it. The women themselves would feel like they wouldn't be able to go out and have fun or attend social events without having someone there as their escort for a number of reasons (i.e. loneliness, sometimes these events required dancing partners or bridge partners, etc). Sometimes a woman who was known to have a husband and was seen out on her own would be presumed to be looking for a partner while he was away, so to curb those stares/rumors, a well-known friend would step in as an obvious space-filler for the event.

I do agree with someone above in the comments who mentioned that this practice is typically reserved for the upper classes, but you can see this practice throughout the class system in various non-affair-based ways. It mostly depends on the independence-level of the woman in question and whether or not she is comfortable with brushing off the advances of other men if she goes out and is not obviously with someone. For example, I know a couple of women who prefer to have a male at least within their going-out group if they need someone to deter an aggressive person trying to hit on them. It's sad and sick that in a lot of cases women simply saying, "No, I'm not interested" is not enough to get a man to back off, but because of that, it sometimes helps to appear to be with someone so you can just enjoy your night without being approached for one reason or another.
 

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Is it common for husbands to ask a friend to take care of their wives, like escorting them to dinner, when the husbands were away, so that she doesn't get lonely?

I saw it in some books and was wondering if this is common practice.

Thanks in advance.
The way you phrase it probably not. If I were away on a trip and my friends were meeting up or going out for dinner I'd be surprised if they didn't invite my wife along as they are our friends. Similarly if a friend were away on a trip I am sure we'd invite his wife round or include her in anything being arranged because again she'd be our friend and wouldn't want to leave her out.

When you phrase it "escorting to dinner ...... so that she doesn't get lonely" that's a whole other interpretation.
 

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I would never consider having someone "escort" my wife. But if she wants to do something that I don't enjoy (like Opera), then I'm happy to have her go with a friend (male or female).
 

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I have no need to think of what I would think of such an arrangement because my wife would never go for it herself. Nor would I want to escort someone else's wife in such a manner.

No reason someone in such a position can't go out in a group rather than just one on one, or just with a friend of the same gender. If a woman has nobody to do things with other than her husband, and must rely on her husband to set her up with a companion, even platonic, while he's away, there are other problems that need dealt with.
 

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In the very beginning of my then GF, now wife courting stage, a very good friend in fact she was my best friends GF who he did not want to go to a fancy spancy wedding and did not mind me going with his then GF.
My friend asked me to go with her. I told my GF about it out of respect, and she wasn't happy about it. My friend understood and felt bad asking me as she was so used of me being single.

That sealed the deal for me, if my wife could not handle it then that would be a big ol NO to any future escort for my wife as well.

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I spent a lot of time when my kids were young with my husband deployed or living out of state. It was not unheard of for his brothers or close friends to check in on us (me and the kids), or maybe even help me out at times. Things like swinging by the house, or sometimes their wives calling and offering up their husbands' time if I needed something. It was only accepted if truly impossible for me to do on my own, help juggling vehicle repair, or like moving at 8 months pregnant. If I needed someone to go to the movies or dinner with, I'd go with a girlfriend, or by myself.
 

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Is it common for husbands to ask a friend to take care of their wives, like escorting them to dinner, when the husbands were away, so that she doesn't get lonely?

I saw it in some books and was wondering if this is common practice.

Thanks in advance.
In the year 2018, especially in the United States, I would say no, its not common practice, but rather almost completely unheard of. I have never heard of any one being escorted while their husband was away.

If I want to go out to dinner when my husband is out of town - I will either take my self out, or invite a friend.

If I was lonely, I would reach out to friends or family.

Women are no longer kept objects who must be under a man's supervision when away from the home.
 
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