Over 221 texts a day? BIG red flag this has to end now if it hasn't gone physical already. She has to be transparent email pw phone pw ect. Sorry man. This is not your fault she could have approached you about this first.Put a var in her car also.
This should be in the TAM Bible.Make your demands NOW.
Complete transparence plus acountability of whereabouts.
Full disclosure (I suspects it's way more than EA)
MC, maybe IC for her.
Reading Not just friends
Plan to rebuild marriage.
No more options, no I'm confussed (but remaining in contact with OM), no I need time to think/decide (but remaining in contact with OM). The marriage may survive, maybe not but OM is out of the picture for good. She ends it now or divorce.
You can stomach divorce her but not sharing her. If you don't agree with it then embrace the cuckold lifestyle and don't forget to provide condoms (if it's not already a PA she will feel now free to persue it now it's all in the open).
Still on her back you put yourself on PI mode. Trust but verify. Even when agree the rules they rarely can stop definitively at first attepmt. EAs are very hard to crack. They want all. They want what marriage provides AND the cake on the side.
Welcome TAM CWI newbies- please read this
She admitted right there to being in a emotional affair (EA) with this other man (OM).We talked a long time last night and she admitted that he is filling an emotional void she has with me.
She is telling you to your face that the OM has successfully gotten in between the two of you and your marriage and that she is picking him over you. This is for sure an EA.She said he was someone to talk to, and she feels like I'm closed off and she can't talk to me. I asked her why she feels she can't open up to me... I've never felt like she can connect to me or express her emotions... she doesn't know. She can't answer that.
A man will not text ANYBODY 221 times/day unless he's getting tail, or trying like hell to get it.
You need to confront this "mutual friend" now. No crazy threats or yelling. Just tell him in a confident voice that you know what he's up to, you see him as a predator on your family, and you WILL do whatever it takes to protect your family. Then you STFU, and end the conversation. No need to listen to this POS explain himself.
This is an interesting slip you made here.We are going to our first marriage cancelling session in a couple hours.
So if you were texting with a married women over 200 times a day what would she think you were up to?She's convinced its innocent and talks about him like there is absolutely no attraction - just someone to talk to.
:scratchhead:This is an interesting slip you made here.
Time to think about scheduling a polygraph test. If she can't go cold turkey on him I would get some legal advice.I have to agree with thunderstruck. If you believe she's only in an emotional affair, you need to prepare yourself for finding out otherwise. My wife trickle truthed me into believing that, and I found a lot fewer text logs than you have.
But I kept on looking.
See if you can get on her computer and run e-mail recovery software for her deleted e-mails. That's how I discovered my wife was lying about the EA, which turned out to be a 2 year PA.
You can not read her pretty well, she has been texting another man two hundred and twenty times a day and you didn't "read it". You no longer know who she is, everything is fake and should be questioned now. If you think this guy sent her 20,000, yes 20,000 text meassages without anything physical you are crazy! Does this guy have a job? how can he text so much?I was going to ask if this was appropriate or not. DW even mentioned last night (in her self sobbing over how she understands this will cost her a friend)... "He really likes you. We should all just hang out together more."
I find myself angry at this guy. Maybe I'm making excuses for my wife, but she was in emotion distress over our daughter and he swooped in... what guy does that without realizing it? She's convinced its innocent and talks about him like there is absolutely no attraction - just someone to talk to. I don't believe her looking at the facts (writing is on the wall)... but in 16 years I've learned to read her pretty well and it appears to me she isn't lying at the no physical contact.
Thanks for the advice so far. I am level headed enough to realize that some things just aren't meant to be. I understand that it takes two... and if I'm willing and she is not there is nothing I can do. We're better off apart.
What kills me inside is our daughters... they deserve better.
Exactly. No man would invest so much time and effort without getting something physical in return.You can not read her pretty well, she has been texting another man two hundred and twenty times a day and you didn't "read it". You no longer know who she is, everything is fake and should be questioned now. If you think this guy sent her 20,000, yes 20,000 text meassages without anything physical you are crazy! Does this guy have a job? how can he text so much?