Simply put, there is never a time I have used porn where I would not rather it be my wife. In fact, I’ve often stopped short of finishing because I want that to be with her. Like, I take a gamble in case things would occur between us. Not that she would not want to please me, but we lived an extremely busy life and many nights, we went to bed exhausted.Not from me MIB I've heard very respected researchers wonder if porn does/can serve a positive purpose. Both men and women are wired up to seek sexual variety...but men are wired up way more so. Lots of replicable studies prove this. So the speculation is that porn allows that craving for variety to be satisfied a bit without actually inflicting infidelity trauma. Lots of assumptions there though, and no studies. Just speculation. Makes some sense to me. On the other hand, just cause we carry inherited behavioral tendencies, we are not excused from ethical behavior. There are adult content sites that are curated by women, and have "fair trade" content. I firmly believe that many performers are quite rational and really want to pursue the work they are doing (watch some Youtube videos by Holly Randal to see how non-dysfunctional these folks are!) . But no matter how well curated or ethically produced, I don't want Porn to replace or interfere with a loving physical relationship with my wife. So we both may be striving for the same end, for different reasons.
I swear, you and I are living parallel lives when it comes to our wives and how things are progressing. I could have wrote what you just did.TinyT: Posts like yours are one reason why I find TAM so helpful/reassuring. As my wife worked on ways to make sex comfortable for herself again (viva the magic E-Cream!) , our sex life has come back online more and more. Frequency and passion have increased. But point to make - the increase in activity is not huge. We are not rockin the house 5 days a week. Often 3, often 2 x a week. We are not freaks in the sheets. But that incremental change makes an ENORMOUS difference to me. So much so that I feel embarrassed. Can sex mean that much? Am I that shallow? But when I got into my manic phase of reading infidelity sites, and just reading TAM, it's clear that yes, sex is the Jenga block that determines how a guys world is structured. Our intimacy nowadays is wonderful. We kiss and touch and play every day numerous times a day. We are not screwing. We are just being a couple. I love it. I think wife loves it. I don't pressure her for sex. She does not feel like I'm jonesing to get laid when I give her a foot rub or touch her shoulders. And what brings this about? Passionate, desired sex. Not a mountain of it. But enough.
It's St. Patrick's day so I'll note that in Irish, the way to say "enough" is go leor. As as an Irish person might say, "enough is a treasure."
Nope your not. Its one of the largest ways a man bonds with their mate, all forms of phycal intimacy. From hugs to sex, to the spooning. We are both connected deeply and this IS more satisfying than porn will ever be!Simply put, there is never a time I have used porn where I would not rather it be my wife. In fact, I’ve often stopped short of finishing because I want that to be with her. Like, I take a gamble in case things would occur between us. Not that she would not want to please me, but we lived an extremely busy life and many nights, we went to bed exhausted.
Maybe I’m weird, I dunno, but everything from the moment of penetration to the intertwined spooning afterwards, every step of the way brings a unique rush of it’s own. The moments afterwards are amazing. It’s like I can feel my very being connecting with hers as we are at rest.
Porn gets me off physically and there is that rush of dopamine, but it leaves me feeling unfinished. I still long for that spousal connection afterwards.
I guess I’m just a big softie 😂