[MIB]

A very big "YES" to all of that. That was a beast that plagued me for years; becoming aroused and erect at inappropriate times. Like during medical exams and massage, so I avoided both. Having been given Lupron to suppress testosterone for most of 2020, I am now at a lower level and can relax enough for massage.

Next step is to get back to normal and keep control of the beast.

I would gladly live with that. I have no problem if it shows up during medical procedures or a massage.

Now, in church? Maybe that wouldn’t be ideal

 

[BigDaddyNY]

I inject every other week, plenty adequate. Never heard of three times a week. But the normal cycle is 10-14 days so the injection a year ago is long gone.

One thing I believe helps me besides injecting is DHEA every day.

Depends on the ester the Dr prescribes. The typical goto in the US is cypionate. It has a half life of 8 days, so after 14 days you are down to about 15% of the testosterone. Propionate only has a half life of 2-3 days. On that ester 2-3 times a week would make sense.

 

[Rus47]

Agree on the weight. It needs to go.

I have been on a one/day BP med for over 10 years. It has never been an issue before. I have always heard about the effects that interfere with sexual function, but it did not have that effect on me… at least not until recently if that is an issue today.

Taking matters into my hands is not something that does anything erotic for my wife. She doesn’t mind at all when I do and it has been a frequent practice with her and a toy and me with myself. It's just not something I would ever see her desiring me to do for her. Still, she has no qualms about it.

I do feel bad because the act is short lived and I want her to enjoy it to the fullest. Like you said, it has been a while since this was normal and I dis have some anxiety in recent past for not wanting to cause her discomfort. Maybe we just need to go at is some more and get accustomed to being back here again.

Emphasis on the bolded. Take a look at the side effects listed for your specific BP med. Some of them are worse than others. Beta blockers are evidently prone to causing problems. Talk to your doctor. At one time I was taking BP meds and then was prescribed cialis daily, which I didn't realize was also a BP reducer. The two together dropped the pressure too low so that caused a problem with being able to keep it blown up. I don't take either one anymore. My BP is normal without any meds.

Anxiety is a bigger issue than physical issues.

 

[Rus47]

Depends on the ester the Dr prescribes. The typical goto in the US is cypionate. It has a half life of 8 days, so after 14 days you are down to about 15% of the testosterone. Propionate only has a half life of 2-3 days. On that ester 2-3 times a week would make sense.

Mine is the cypionate.

 

[LisaDiane]

This may very well be the only thing I need. I swear, this is what I feel I have the issue with. The mental game transitioning to the physical.

If you go back to your doctor to get your Testosterone levels checked, be sure to ask them to also test your Estrogen levels, so you have a baseline and as much information as you need. You might also want to have your TSH (thyroid) level checked as well.

DO NOT only listen to what the lab says is "normal", because that is rarely the full story. Hormones are very tricky and individualized, and you need the actual numerical levels to know what you are dealing with. "Normal" might not actually be optimal or even normal for YOU.

Supplementing Testosterone (and taking an Estrogen blocker, if needed) might really be what you need. And at your age, it doesn't matter if it shuts your own production down, because it is just going to keep declining anyway. If you need the T-injections, you won't believe how much better you feel in every way when you get your levels up!

 

[Julie's Husband]

If you go back to your doctor to get your Testosterone levels checked, be sure to ask them to also test your Estrogen levels, so you have a baseline and as much information as you need. You might also want to have your TSH (thyroid) level checked as well.

DO NOT only listen to what the lab says is "normal", because that is rarely the full story. Hormones are very tricky and individualized, and you need the actual numerical levels to know what you are dealing with. "Normal" might not actually be optimal or even normal for YOU.

Supplementing Testosterone (and taking an Estrogen blocker, if needed) might really be what you need. And at your age, it doesn't matter if it shuts your own production down, because it is just going to keep declining anyway. If you need the T-injections, you won't believe how much better you feel in every way when you get your levels up!

Decline with age is not a guarantee. That is from my 77 year old perspective. I did hit a temporary speed bump with castration for treatment of prostate cancer, but that is not about age.

 

[Mr.Married]

I inject every other week, plenty adequate. Never heard of three times a week. But the normal cycle is 10-14 days so the injection a year ago is long gone.

One thing I believe helps me besides injecting is DHEA every day.

Im starting to wonder if perhaps he said 3 times a month 👍

 

[TinyTbone]

Rolling Stones said it best. What a drag it is getting old.

When my wife went through menopause, the usual issues came with it. Dryness, pain, and the lack of wanting to even try PIV due to it all. Combine that with the difference in how men and women get aroused and, suffice to say, our sex life slowly changed.

She wasn’t happy about things, but I’m sure she could have been easier on herself if my drive was not so strong. We compensated in other ways, but our options were/are limited. Her mouth is small and BJ’s are not comfortable to perform, plus, she is grossed out by the potential liquids that can be there. She just doesn’t like doing that. If she doesn’t like something, I don’t want her to do it.

She is an anal virgin who has no interest in that anyway and, being north of 60, I would not ask her to try that now. I understand.

She tried the Estradiol cream a while ago, but the act of having to apply it didn’t get rolled into the nightly routine and it never got a chance to take effect. Just seemed too high maintenance and I wasn’t going to try to force it.

Fast forward to the past month or so. Up until now, we made do with some great toys and marital aids, but she knows how badly I missed PIV. And it wasn’t just me. She missed it too, so she decided to give the cream another shot.

After a few weeks of being vigilant about it…. TA-DAAAAA! Success! We have had PIV about 3 times in the past week and she was not in pain.

We’re back! Right? Well, not really…

Now it is ME with the issues. I can get erect and maintain the erection while being physically stimulated, but I seem to lose a little of it during the little time it takes to position and apply a quick bit of lube for entry.

When it’s time to play, I go away😡

I have to retake matters into my own hand, then go in ASAP.

So, I have drive. Foreplay does give me the rigidity, but it’s like a balloon with a hole in it. As long as air is going in, it will look right. The minute ya stop blowing in it, buh- bye.

I’m gonna try a ring next. I DO have substantially low T and my doc did one injection over a year ago, but I never did do another one. Wondering if that would help at all. Sure won’t hurt and it would help in other areas too.

Anyone ever dealt with this? I hate that she was able to bring this back to us and now I am hindering the joy.

Maybe get the testosterone checked. Also have you tried rings?

 

[MIB]

Maybe get the testosterone checked. Also have you tried rings?

in my original post, I did say:

“I’m gonna try a ring next. I DO have substantially low T and my doc did one injection over a year ago, but I never did do another one. Wondering if that would help at all. Sure won’t hurt and it would help in other areas too.”

 

[Young at Heart]

.....We compensated in other ways, but our options were/are limited. Her mouth is small and BJ’s are not comfortable to perform, plus, she is grossed out by the potential liquids that can be there. She just doesn’t like doing that. If she doesn’t like something, I don’t want her to do it.

She is an anal virgin who has no interest in that anyway and, being north of 60, I would not ask her to try that now. I understand.

.......Fast forward to the past month or so. Up until now, we made do with some great toys and marital aids, but she knows how badly I missed PIV. And it wasn’t just me. She missed it too, so she decided to give the cream another shot.

After a few weeks of being vigilant about it…. TA-DAAAAA! Success! We have had PIV about 3 times in the past week and she was not in pain.

.........Now it is ME with the issues. I can get erect and maintain the erection while being physically stimulated, but I seem to lose a little of it during the little time it takes to position and apply a quick bit of lube for entry.

....I’m gonna try a ring next. I DO have substantially low T and my doc did one injection over a year ago, but I never did do another one. Wondering if that would help at all. Sure won’t hurt and it would help in other areas too.

Anyone ever dealt with this? I hate that she was able to bring this back to us and now I am hindering the joy.

Yes. I have dealt with this. A C-ring will help a lot. Getting regular hormone replacement T therapy will also help. Generic Viagre will help. However, the most important thing will be a wife that sexually desires you.

Another thing I would recommend is eating right and using the right supplements. On You Tube there is a Dr. Rachael Ross set of video's that helps explain things from a variety of perspectives.

It you wife is good to go with sex toys, then prostate massage and pumping could change your world. Also supplements to boost Nitric Oxide and do wonders as well.

When my wife told me she never wanted to have sex with me again, we worked with a marriage counselor and sex therapist who help save our marriage. The ST asked my wife what she though would happen if we never had sex again. Ultimately, my wife said we would probably divorce. The ST told my wife that in her experience with hundreds of couples she was right, we would likely divorce. The ST helped my wife understand how important sex was to me and how important it was to our marriage.

I wish you and your wife the best of luck. Experiment, enjoy each other and work on having a sex life that emotionally connects the two of you.

 

[Divinely Favored]

She would love to get better sleep. It was our primary care doc who suggested the cream. She plans to bring it up to her OBGYN at her next appt to get that treatment from a more appropriate source. At that time, she will ask about the other supplements.

To clarify, she takes nothing orally. The cream is a local application about twice a week.

Wife takes Estrodial that dissolves under tongue. Either way is best. As long as it is absorbed.

She also has pharmacy compounded testosterone and progesterone creams. The specialist that did her total hysterectomy was the one who told her women should be on all 3 afterward. She was the Chief Oncologist over the Women's Cancer Center at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas.

It is so nice to live with a very sexual woman that does not go through PMS phases each month. She said she is so much happier not to have to deal with it either. My happy, loving, cougar in the BR, no lube needed thanks to the HRT doses daily.

 

[Divinely Favored]

in my original post, I did say:

“I’m gonna try a ring next. I DO have substantially low T and my doc did one injection over a year ago, but I never did do another one. Wondering if that would help at all. Sure won’t hurt and it would help in other areas too.”

Get T up and most likely will not need a ring.

 

[Divinely Favored]

So as much as I read and try to learn, I’m not seeing a definitive answer to one of my T questions.

Does T have an effect on arousal to the point where it helps with erections? I mean, does it play a role in the physiological process where thoughts and non physical stimuli have an effect on an getting/maintaining an erection?

I’ll ask my doc all this, but my appt isn’t until next week and Google hasn’t helped me specifically.

Most definitely, T drives memory and brain function. 🤫 Don't tell the feminazis that, it will make their head explode. Reason men really get forgetful and have brain fog in older age.

 

[gaius]

The answer might actually be fairly simple. That you're turned off by your wife having such a hard time with sex. I'm younger than you and if I was with a woman who found oral, anal, PIV all uncomfortable and wasn't getting wet for me I'd probably lose my erection too. It's not sexy if she has to put that much work into getting turned on by you.

Rather than go the million dollar man route maybe try mixing in something new you both haven't tried before? Maybe there's something she hasn't wanted to admit to you before that she's interested in.

 

[MIB]

The answer might actually be fairly simple. That you're turned off by your wife having such a hard time with sex. I'm younger than you and if I was with a woman who found oral, anal, PIV all uncomfortable and wasn't getting wet for me I'd probably lose my erection too. It's not sexy if she has to put that much work into getting turned on by you.

Rather than go the million dollar man route maybe try mixing in something new you both haven't tried before? Maybe there's something she hasn't wanted to admit to you before that she's interested in.

That you are younger than me says that your wife also MIGHT not have gone through menopause yet. Some women breeze through it without much issue, but it is commonly a life changing event, sexually speaking.

Before MP, sex was frequent and very hot. She initiated often, enjoyed new things, and, as I said earlier, flowed like a fountain before I got near paradise. MP changed a lot for her physically, but not mentally. She has said many times, “I don’t want that part of my life to be over.” That wife wants it.

Thinking the way you are suggesting only complicated things more for her when I took it to mean those things: she’s not attracted to me, she doesn’t desire me, she doesn’t want me to touch her….

I learned it was like feeling she no longer wanted to take walks with me while ignoring the fact that her legs were gone. This is just an analogy. She has legs 😂. Knowing she did still desire me and did still want to have a sex life, she was game to explore other things. We slowly redefined our sex life, but then we we’re able to bring back her function. It’s been a while, so I’m noting my own issues.

Not being attracted to my wife could not be further from the truth. I wake up each morning and go to bed each night trying to keep my hands off her, and I‘m usually unsuccessful 😎 She has never turned me down for anything. I‘m just trying to fix this one issue. I believe it’s an age thing. Nothing else.

 

[gaius]

That you are younger than me says that your wife also MIGHT not have gone through menopause yet. Some women breeze through it without much issue, but it is commonly a life changing event, sexually speaking.

Before MP, sex was frequent and very hot. She initiated often, enjoyed new things, and, as I said earlier, flowed like a fountain before I got near paradise. MP changed a lot for her physically, but not mentally. She has said many times, “I don’t want that part of my life to be over.” That wife wants it.

Thinking the way you are suggesting only complicated things more for her when I took it to mean those things: she’s not attracted to me, she doesn’t desire me, she doesn’t want me to touch her….

I learned it was like feeling she no longer wanted to take walks with me while ignoring the fact that her legs were gone. This is just an analogy. She has legs 😂. Knowing she did still desire me and did still want to have a sex life, she was game to explore other things. We slowly redefined our sex life, but then we we’re able to bring back her function. It’s been a while, so I’m noting my own issues.

Not being attracted to my wife could not be further from the truth. I wake up each morning and go to bed each night trying to keep my hands off her, and I‘m usually unsuccessful 😎 She has never turned me down for anything. I‘m just trying to fix this one issue. I believe it’s an age thing. Nothing else.

My wife has been in menopause for the majority of our time together. She only started HRT in the last year or so.

Your wife's attraction to you is a separate issue you didn't post about. As far as your ed goes before you start shooting up like Barry Bonds try going back to an old porno/playboy/memory, whatever never failed to get you going and try it out. If there's no ED issues there your penis may be telling you something you don't want to hear.

It's wouldn't be that you're unattracted to your wife, just that particular dynamic is a turn off for you. Like if she had really bad breath or something. And that's something you can both work on without drugs. If you want to.

 

[MIB]

My wife has been in menopause for the majority of our time together. She only started HRT in the last year or so.

Your wife's attraction to you is a separate issue you didn't post about. As far as your ed goes before you start shooting up like Barry Bonds try going back to an old porno/playboy/memory, whatever never failed to get you going and try it out. If there's no ED issues there your penis may be telling you something you don't want to hear.

It's wouldn't be that you're unattracted to your wife, just that particular dynamic is a turn off for you. Like if she had really bad breath or something. And that's something you can both work on without drugs. If you want to.

I didn’t post about her attraction to me because it isn’t a noteworthy issue. The issue is with me.

As far as being turned on, she does that for me quite easily. There is zero apprehension with that. I am wildly attracted to her and our morning breath kisses are enjoyed with passion and humor.

I’m just recognizing this one thing with me and seeing it against the backdrop of my doc doing a double take at my significantly low T levels.

I do appreciate your input.

 

[Griswold]

Sort of similar outcomes for me occasionally MIB. I sometimes have the same issue in terms of position changing. Rarin' to go, do some love making, then move a little and, poof limp biscuit. What the H%ll? Conan...funny but my working theory is opposite of your exercise advice. I do work out very hard - lift and run - usually on the same day. I've noticed that on heavy weight days - this little problem seems more likely. Wondering if the blood just needs to be somewhere else to fix things. I'm very lucky (like MIB) that wife is happy to come to the rescue with whatever means necessary to nurse the bishop back to health. I'm north of 60 so I can't expect to 100% all the time. But like MIB, if I'm in bed with an enthusiastic wife , my 18 year old brain is screaming ..WHAT? WHY NOW?

This has not progressed to the point I want to take a drug. I had not thought about a ring. That might be fun for her too.

One thing we do, if other activities are taking place (kissing or if I'm playing at the Y), we position so that she can be hands on with Mr. P. That seems to keep him revved up. But like you said, we occasionally have to make the scene change quickly.

All in all, we are happy to treat sex as a really fun massage. We usually orgasm. BUt if we don't, oh well. Better luck next time. So not too much performance pressure.

 

[MIB]

SO…. I seriously doubt anyone woke up today wondering if MIB has been able to figure things out, but there has been an interesting development that I felt compelled to report. I just may be getting used to this again.

For the first time in a very long time… can’t even remember how long, we were successful not once this morning, but twice 😲

Who do we think we are? 😂

My wife laughed at me a little while ago saying, “You look like a kid with a new toy.”

 

[Affaircare]