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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I would never have mine.
My marriage was complicated enough and even though I thought it would give me strength to leave, it never did. Just made me feel really bad about myself, for my husband and OM.

Did it have any mental side effect on you?
I felt kinda crazy. If he did not reply to my email, text - it hurt me deeply and I would judge myself based on it. Like if my worth was all about his response.
I would think how to surprise him, what to do on his birthday, how to write special email.

We do not live in same country. I would see him once a year and this was the time when I felt worst. I could not be with him as much as I wanted for obvious reasons and he was busy by visiting rest of the "world".
I felt something like anxiety, could not stop think about him.
It was very painful to have him so close and not being to able to see him.

Other times when he was really sick, I would worry very much.
He is diabetic with many complications because he did not care about himself from beginning.
I also knew about his ED long time before we were in deeper trouble than EA.

Anyway, if you have any experience with it, how was yours?
 

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Without a doubt, I would not. Prior to my EA, I had never done anything to violate my marriage vows, my husband trusted me without question and I had never felt ashamed or embarrassed by something so stupid.
 

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Just to add...

I have never betrayed the people I love or myself so deeply in all of my days combined as I did 7.5 weeks of an EA. I would never have believed something so short lived could wreak such havoc.

I honestly didn't know it was possible to inflict and suffer that much emotional damage.
 

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I wanted to add:

Also, I would NEVER again want to see how hurt my husband was when this came to light. I die a little bit each time he talks about how much he had put me up on a pedestal only to be so disappointed and crushed.
 
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F*ck no!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm trying to dig down as deep as I can within myself to make sure that it never happens again. I am a OW/BS/WS...so have seen all sides of EA/PAs.

No way in hell will I ever go down that road again. Ever. In my life. No way, no how. Never ever. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
F*ck no!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm trying to dig down as deep as I can within myself to make sure that it never happens again. I am a OW/BS/WS...so have seen all sides of EA/PAs.

No way in hell will I ever go down that road again. Ever. In my life. No way, no how. Never ever. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Need help on this one "OW/BS/WS" - other woman, got that, but have no idea what others stand for. :scratchhead:;)
 

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Just to add...

I have never betrayed the people I love or myself so deeply in all of my days combined as I did 7.5 weeks of an EA. I would never have believed something so short lived could wreak such havoc.

I honestly didn't know it was possible to inflict and suffer that much emotional damage.
Why does a cheater not realize these things? The magnitude of misery and the breadth of betrayal should have been foreseen. But I was blind to it, or maybe I blinded myself.

So, no. No. No. No. I would not choose again to end my marriage, family, and friendships in such a contemptible fashion.
 

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Why does a cheater not realize these things?
I think (at least for me) it was easier to not think about the consequences due to being in so "much pain" and feeling justified b/c of the way I was being treated and him wanting to divorce.

Its so much easier to fall into self gratification than to work through problems...easier to turn the other cheek....

And then there was the idea that "how can this action damage the situation anymore than it already is". How naive and stupid I was. There is no pain greater than that of infidelity.
 

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Well in a higher level of selfishness and being self centered - I had some appreciation of the trauma that my wife would suffer, that's fairly obvious. What I was utterly unprepared for was the damage I was inflicting upon myself. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do it again only for not hurting my wife; but what it cost me took me completely by surprise. I really don't know why I was surprised - I mean what did I expect when I traded my honor, dignity, honesty, morals, and marriage for an emotional fling? Just so damned stupid and such a waste...

No.

I would not do it again. I wouldn't do it the first time if I could turn back the clock.
 

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AwfullyGuilty,

Originally Posted by lordmayhem View Post
List of Acronyms of Infidelity so the newbies can follow the infidelity lingo here.

WW = Wayward Wife
WH = Wayward Husband
WS = Wayward Spouse
BH = Betrayed Husband
BW = Betrayed Wife
BS = Betrayed Spouse
LS = Loyal Spouse
DW = Disloyal Wife
DH = Disloyal Husband
DS = Disloyal Spouse
fWW = Former Wayward Wife
fWH = Former Wayward Husband
fWS = Former Wayward Spouse
OM = Other Man
OW = Other Woman
OMW = Other Man’s Wife
OWH = Other Woman’s Husband
AP = Affair Partner
R = Reconciliation
D = Divorce
DDay = Discovery Day
STBXH = Soon To Be Ex Husband
STBXW = Soon To Be Ex Wife
ILYBINILWY = I Love You But I’m Not In Love With You
EA = Emotional Affair
PA = Physical Affair
A = Affair
KISA = Knight In Shining Armor
VAR = Voice Activated Recorder
TT = Trickle Truth
SAHM = Stay At Home Mom
SAHD = Stay At Home Dad
 

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Well in a higher level of selfishness and being self centered - I had some appreciation of the trauma that my wife would suffer, that's fairly obvious. What I was utterly unprepared for was the damage I was inflicting upon myself. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't do it again only for not hurting my wife; but what it cost me took me completely by surprise. I really don't know why I was surprised - I mean what did I expect when I traded my honor, dignity, honesty, morals, and marriage for an emotional fling? Just so damned stupid and such a waste...

No.

I would not do it again. I wouldn't do it the first time if I could turn back the clock.
My wH just read this and said "yes. Damn. Damn. Damn. Unbelieveable stupidity that I will forever regret for you, for me, for my family, for my honor and dignity as well. And for what I sacrifice each time I look in the mirror. And for what you give everyday to be here with me. For the agony I have inflicted upon you. NO! This should never have happened and will never be repeated"
 

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I too can't imagine anyone saying yes to this.

I really cannot imagine anything that I could do in the whole rest of my life that I would beg to take back as much as I do my A. The damage it has caused my husband, my family, myself, the OM's family, and my friends is so beyond anything I could have even fathomed. I should have known. I know that, and I hate myself that I didn't realize or care enough to think it through, so that is yet another piece of the puzzle. There is nothing good about an affair. Even anything that seemed good or fun or whatever is shown to be such a farce when you see it in the light of the devastation that it causes.
 
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