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Okay, this is my first post, so please excuse me if I rattle on too much. Married to my wife of 18 years, have two kids, 11 and 6. Both my wife and I have good jobs, kids are great and behave well with one another. Currently residing in a nice home with everything we've always worked hard to get. Problem is my wife is lacking in the affectionate dept. Several posts I've read over the last few days are from either side of a marriage looking for more sex. This is not my quandry . . . albeit nice, I feel that if I could get my SO to form a bond with me on an emotional level, everything else will fall into place. Let it be known, her and I have had a nice 18 year run, but, wait for it . . . wait for it . . . "after the kids", things started to go a tad bit south in certain areas regarding sex / affection and companionship. Little background about my wife, she's a GREAT mother, has a real solid career, brought up in a stable family, active with cub scouts, hard working German ethic, and super hot/model like looks to boot (meow!). One thing that's brought up constantly is I'm not holding up my end of the bargain. I dont help around the house or with the kids as often as she would like me to. I need to help with the finances and be more active with our future investments and the like. In reality, she might be right to a certain degree, but in my eyes, I feel I do a fair amount that wouldnt constitute being treated the way I do. I do 80 percent of the yard work, I maintain the cars, I do the dishes ALL THE TIME, garbage duty, cook meals quite often, clean the bathrooms and keep things tidy in the house just as much as she does ( Side bar : Were both clean freaks, so that works out well ) I take and pick up the kids from school, I coached my sons little league team for the last 5 years, I've run 9 marathons in the last 10 years ( she's a runner to, 3 half marathons ) . . . its not like I sit on the couch and watch sports all day and night ( nor do I play ANY video games ). I'm fairly good looking with a great sense of humor . . . I just want one simple thing, just one. I want my wife to be my wife. Not someone that shares chores with me and gives me a high five when I tell her "I love her". Over the last year or so, it seems to be getting as bad as it's been. When lying in bed, I'll try putting my hand on her side, without hesitation, she'll take it and whip it off and away from her. I'll be driving in the car and I'll put my hand on her lap and she, as always, takes it off and tells me to pay attention to the road. These sort of things happen all the time, I'm the one doing the initiating and shes does the refusing. She rarely, and I mean rarely initiates any sort of affectionate role. Yes, she'll kiss me before I go to work occassionaly, or give me a hug after I finish one of my runs / marathons, but i need to find ways for her to break out of this shell. I'm hoping that if she becomes more comfortable with initiating the little things, down the road we will be, or at least close to, where we were BK. I'm not asking for the world, I'm just asking to be treated like a husband, not a run of the mill roomy from college. I'm well aware that as adults grow older, they grow more comfortable into their own routine. They want to have nothing to do with change, or stepping outside of their comfort zone. This tends to make me a little nervous. If she's like this now, who's to say this is not going to happen over next 40 years ? If anyones response will be, " We'll, did you tell her how you feel ? " the answer is yes. I not only tell her how I feel, but leave little clippings form ( Cosmo, Health, Self and others ) magazines that give tips on the subject. I've had "you know what" tied up down there and my SO has since been off the pill for close to 2 years. This might sound silly and even a little childish but this is one of the ways I thought might help. Remember on the show "The Office" when Dwight handed out "Shrute Bucks" to employees that did positive acts / chores throughout the day ? . . . Well, thats the path I wanted to take. For every act of affection, whether it be a simple hug in the am, placing her hand on MY lap while driving, a quick kiss while out in public . . . she would earn a "Hug Buck". After reaching X amount of Hug Bucks, she would be eligible for whatever. Thank you very much for listening and I look forward to hearing from ya', on how crazy my idea is. :)
 
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