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Discussion Starter #1
Seems the mood here is a bit rough ATM and many longer term posters are leaving.

At the same time there are many drive by posters coming in daily with incredulous (read: troll posts) designed to create havoc as a means of entertaining themselves. These types of one offs are common on forums and the main purpose is to come in for a laugh and watch others fight about trigger topics. It is a well know fun activity for some.

Is it possible for new members to have to have a certain number of posts before being able to start a thread? That may put of some of the one off members who come in to disrupt, they are looking for a quick and easy thrill.

Just thinking this might decrease some of the animosity here and bring discussion back to a real life level. With so many drive by threads that are there to cause arguments the overall mood is degraded.

JMHO
 

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Let me offer a different opinion.... The issue is not that TAM has too many drive by (new) posters, but rather, that it has too few regular longtime posters that have something other than the usual suggestions.

4 years ago even obnoxious posters (trying2figureitout ) managed to sustain long threads before being driven out. Today the collective brain has far less tolerance before resorting to the usual posting exchanges that stall threads within a dozen posts, with the OP's gone.

Just my view...
 

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Seems the mood here is a bit rough ATM and many longer term posters are leaving.

At the same time there are many drive by posters coming in daily with incredulous (read: troll posts) designed to create havoc as a means of entertaining themselves. These types of one offs are common on forums and the main purpose is to come in for a laugh and watch others fight about trigger topics. It is a well know fun activity for some.

Is it possible for new members to have to have a certain number of posts before being able to start a thread? That may put of some of the one off members who come in to disrupt, they are looking for a quick and easy thrill.

Just thinking this might decrease some of the animosity here and bring discussion back to a real life level. With so many drive by threads that are there to cause arguments the overall mood is degraded.

JMHO
Welzijn, Goede

Daar ben ik het mee eens.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Was trying2figureitout a member that had more than one post? The name sounds vaguely familiar.

What I am trying (badly lol) to get at is that the drive bys that are created to cause trouble end up creating a bad atmosphere. Now there are plenty of threads with a bad atmosphere but that evolves through the thread, the thread itself probably wasn't designed by the OP to cause a fight, different thing altogether.
 

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Yes, at least a third 'seem' to be trolls.

Some of the rest:

Some people just listen.
Some people are mute.
Some people are shy, are afraid.
Some people are fragile, are timid.
Some people are lazy.
Some people are very inarticulate.
Some people are very guarded.
Some people, indeed are teasers. But some have truth.

Some people are just smart enough to post once.
Some people are just smart enough to allow others to write the script after they write the tease. And they follow along, polishing up more, as more is offered, by others.
Some people then nod their head and say, yep, wow, that is what happened!


These people let the others do the talking.

They open the door just a crack.
And wait for the answers to pour in.


The rest of us get burned out, use-up, lose all our tears.
Trying to put a helpful spin on a old soft potato with green, long scraggly ears.
 

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No idea >:)

Does it say I still owe you a dozen Guinness? They are in the mail, I promise.
You owe me nothing but a smile.

Don't ask the Martian. He will come up with a list.
And if he don't get it, he will be pissed.

The Typist.
.....................................................................

PS. Don't ask SunCMars. We have lost contact, lost him again. :frown2:
Rumor has it he is in Algeria, he has been knocked out, swatted out of the air and is now face down.
 

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Was trying2figureitout a member that had more than one post? The name sounds vaguely familiar.

What I am trying (badly lol) to get at is that the drive bys that are created to cause trouble end up creating a bad atmosphere. Now there are plenty of threads with a bad atmosphere but that evolves through the thread, the thread itself probably wasn't designed by the OP to cause a fight, different thing altogether.
He was an archetypal nice guy who insisted he had a plan to make his wife desire him after many frigid years. Eventually he posted a phenomenal amount, and IIRC she was cheating on him. He was soft banned a few times and eventually hard banned. Again, IIRC.

I received a rather similar response, as have many others with similar issues that disappeared. Many deleted threads back when it was possible.

I'll reiterate my view, similar to my view on a famous now defunct Swedish automobile support site I frequented for decades. Lots of empathy from those who had the same issues (water pump at 30k miles? WTF) and little empathy from those who thought the world of the brand. Think "you're holding it wrong" mentality.

TAM became far more useful when I started treating it not primarily as an advise site but as a raw case data site, much like I treat consumer reviews sites that lambast my handiwork.

Raw data is invaluable.
 

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I had at one time wanted to start a thread but can’t find a way using iPad, suggestions?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 

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@MrsHolland

Hmmm. . . . . interesting idea. I see a lot of threads that are started but the OP never contributes much to answer questions or clarify information. Maybe the intent is just to start ****. Or they intend to but they're scared off by the angry posters. It's probably a combination of the 2. Who knows.

There's definitely a noticeable drop in participation, especially by the "long timers".
 

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Agreed.

When I get time over the weekend I will address this with my fellow mods and Ele. I do think we ought to lock threads where:
- The OP is relatively new
- Creates a thread on a contentious topic
- Doesn’t engage after their first post




Was trying2figureitout a member that had more than one post? The name sounds vaguely familiar.

What I am trying (badly lol) to get at is that the drive bys that are created to cause trouble end up creating a bad atmosphere. Now there are plenty of threads with a bad atmosphere but that evolves through the thread, the thread itself probably wasn't designed by the OP to cause a fight, different thing altogether.
 

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1. He kept promising to reveal his plan for fixing his marriage
2. Did a LOT of tough talk over time - e.g. it’s been 2 years when we hit the third year that’s it I’m out
3. She was OPENLY cheating on him with someone from the gym
4. Wasn’t just a zero sex marriage it was close to zero in terms of non sexual affection

So yes - eventually we - myself included - started to hammer Trying2 hard for being weak.


Oh was this the guy that had a plan that he was going to reveal after he had tried it out for a year? Did he ever do the big reveal?
 

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Yes, I think so, but don’t ask what it was I don’t remember. I do remember it didn’t get him laid.
IIRC he failed because she was cheating all along, giving it to OM.
 

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To clarify:
- I don’t believe he ever disclosed a plan
- He went past the third and then the fourth year with zero sex
- He absolutely refused to directly address the affair

So - my conscience isn’t troubling me over the way we addressed him.



1. He kept promising to reveal his plan for fixing his marriage
2. Did a LOT of tough talk over time - e.g. it’s been 2 years when we hit the third year that’s it I’m out
3. She was OPENLY cheating on him with someone from the gym
4. Wasn’t just a zero sex marriage it was close to zero in terms of non sexual affection

So yes - eventually we - myself included - started to hammer Trying2 hard for being weak.
 

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John,

Your complaint about site empathy levels remind me of a fellow who expressed zero empathy for a TAM father with two profoundly autistic children.

Now that I think of it, the reason you remind me of that chap is that his screen name was also: john117



He was an archetypal nice guy who insisted he had a plan to make his wife desire him after many frigid years. Eventually he posted a phenomenal amount, and IIRC she was cheating on him. He was soft banned a few times and eventually hard banned. Again, IIRC.

I received a rather similar response, as have many others with similar issues that disappeared. Many deleted threads back when it was possible.

I'll reiterate my view, similar to my view on a famous now defunct Swedish automobile support site I frequented for decades. Lots of empathy from those who had the same issues (water pump at 30k miles? WTF) and little empathy from those who thought the world of the brand. Think "you're holding it wrong" mentality.

TAM became far more useful when I started treating it not primarily as an advise site but as a raw case data site, much like I treat consumer reviews sites that lambast my handiwork.

Raw data is invaluable.
 

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Agreed.

When I get time over the weekend I will address this with my fellow mods and Ele. I do think we ought to lock threads where:
- The OP is relatively new
- Creates a thread on a contentious topic
- Doesn’t engage after their first post
What would be an example of a contentious topic? It seems to me the majority of topics are contentious one way or another...
 
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