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Discussion Starter #1
I know some of you have seen my most recent posts about my marriage.

I'm in a marriage with the love of my life but i'm about to lose it b/c of my mental illness. Anxiety/mild depression.

I am at the point where i have to try something different.

I had a full on panic attack the other night and i almost lost my husband and he threatened to take my child from me. (we have one kid together/i have two from a seperate marriage). I wasn't having this attack in front of my child but my husband said it scared him so bad that he can't see my son growing up around this constantly.

I am in therapy, on medication (buspar) i would love to hear your advise on this medication and any others with those with anxiety and which works best for you b/c i'm still trying it out. I'm about 2 months into taking and it seems to midly be helping.

I love to drink though. I wouldn't say i have a problem but i def have a few drinks a night. Weekends def more. My husband and i love to have a drink together when we get off work or two or three.

I just watched a video today about how alcohol can cause anxiety to be worse. As much as i love to socially drink with my husband/friends and have my relaxing glass of wine in the evenings I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE.

I'm seriously considering giving up alcohol. I'm willing at this point to try anything.

HAVE ANY OF YOU STOPPED DRINKING AND DID YOUR ANXIETY IMPROVE? thank you in advance and please be kind b/c i'm fighting all kinds of battles right now and fighting to save my family.
 

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You need to stop drinking. For one, it's bad for you - especially the amount that you are drinking, which is A LOT. Second, yes, alcohol can worsen anxiety after the alcohol wears off because it changes the levels of serotonin in your brain. It is also a depressant, so it can make you feel worse that way as well.

It's time to stop drinking... At "worse" you improve your health and stop before you're an alcoholic (if you're not already). At best your anxiety improves a lot. Your husband should stop drinking as well. A few drinks a night and "more" on the weekend is way too much.

Also, with a lot (if not all) psychiatric meds you are not supposed to drink alcohol... especially that much. When you talk to your doctor about the meds, you need to tell him/her about the drinking as well. It is important information for them to know.

Please do not take other people's experiences with medication as anything more than THEIR experience. Everyone reacts differently. Right now I'm on my fourth antidepressant this year because 3 of the 4 didn't work out. Those 3 medications are also the ones doctors reach for first and work well for a lot of people. One worked okay but caused horrible nausea, one worked great in some ways (anxiety was better) but HORRIBLE in other ways (suicidal thoughts, among other issues), and the last caused more suicidal thoughts. The one that I'm on right now, the dose is probably going to be increased and my doctor wants to add another med because it doesn't work that great alone (for me).

If you have been on the medication for two months, it should be working by now. If it's not then you need to talk to your doctor. You either need a dose increase, a new medication, or an additional medication. There is no shame in calling, that's what your doctor is there for and many people need their dose/med tweaked with. For a few months I was having mine adjusted every few weeks...

Also, your husband can't take your child away because you have panic attacks. Trust me, a lot more than that is needed.
 

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Agreed. Stop the alcohol. If your husband still wants a drink at night, sit with him with some kind of non alcoholic refresher so you still have that de-stressing and reconnecting time together at the end of the day.

Have you done any research on tips for dealing with anxiety? There are tons of breathing exercises, distraction tips, etc you can work on to help you through it. Heck...you can even research them on youtube. There is more help than just medications to help you.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
You need to stop drinking. For one, it's bad for you - especially the amount that you are drinking, which is A LOT. Second, yes, alcohol can worsen anxiety after the alcohol wears off because it changes the levels of serotonin in your brain. It is also a depressant, so it can make you feel worse that way as well.

It's time to stop drinking... At "worse" you improve your health and stop before you're an alcoholic (if you're not already). At best your anxiety improves a lot. Your husband should stop drinking as well. A few drinks a night and "more" on the weekend is way too much.

Also, with a lot (if not all) psychiatric meds you are not supposed to drink alcohol... especially that much. When you talk to your doctor about the meds, you need to tell him/her about the drinking as well. It is important information for them to know.

Please do not take other people's experiences with medication as anything more than THEIR experience. Everyone reacts differently. Right now I'm on my fourth antidepressant this year because 3 of the 4 didn't work out. Those 3 medications are also the ones doctors reach for first and work well for a lot of people. One worked okay but caused horrible nausea, one worked great in some ways (anxiety was better) but HORRIBLE in other ways (suicidal thoughts, among other issues), and the last caused more suicidal thoughts. The one that I'm on right now, the dose is probably going to be increased and my doctor wants to add another med because it doesn't work that great alone (for me).

If you have been on the medication for two months, it should be working by now. If it's not then you need to talk to your doctor. You either need a dose increase, a new medication, or an additional medication. There is no shame in calling, that's what your doctor is there for and many people need their dose/med tweaked with. For a few months I was having mine adjusted every few weeks...

Also, your husband can't take your child away because you have panic attacks. Trust me, a lot more than that is needed.
Thanks, stupidly i'm afraid it is going to make anxiety worse if i don't have that crutch b/c when i am drinking in the moment it calms me. Also i'm afraid i won't have that connection with my husband. We like to have our porch drinks and i'm afraid he will find me boring. I know i sound silly but yes i am going to try to do this b/c i have to.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Agreed. Stop the alcohol. If your husband still wants a drink at night, sit with him with some kind of non alcoholic refresher so you still have that de-stressing and reconnecting time together at the end of the day.

Have you done any research on tips for dealing with anxiety? There are tons of breathing exercises, distraction tips, etc you can work on to help you through it. Heck...you can even research them on youtube. There is more help than just medications to help you.
You can see my post below but one of my worries is that my husband will find me boring and we won't connect like that anymore. I have to try something though to save my marriage
 

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BIG applause for taking self-responsibility.

Have you tried an exercise routine? Start small and work up. Hiking, Biking...etc. Get out in nature.

My humble opinion - drinking everyday, no matter the amount, is too often. I like to get ripped once in a while. REALLY, ripped at times. Other times I have drunk everyday....but not much. Overall, my disposition was worse drinking every day. Plus, drinking everyday the novelty wears off. So now I drink one beer every third day or so. I have not been ripped in a few months. YES, my opinion - alcohol can add to anxiety.

I feel my best when I can get out in the forest and hike 1-6 hours. Give it a try.

I am not a doctor. I have known many that have ditched the pills. My wife has been a pill-popper off and on throughout our relationship. She is worse when she takes pills. She loves the whole, “culture“, of doctor-patient. She goes to the doctor 4 to 8 times a month.

Many of my friends use legal marijuana for a host of problems and like it WAY much better than the pills. Maybe an alternative if you cannot go clean(er)?

From Drugs dot com:

This medication may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be alert.
Drinking alcohol may increase certain side effects of BuSpar.
Grapefruit and grapefruit juice may interact with buspirone and lead to unwanted side effects. Discuss the use of grapefruit products with your doctor.



I know some of you have seen my most recent posts about my marriage.

I'm in a marriage with the love of my life but i'm about to lose it b/c of my mental illness. Anxiety/mild depression.

I am at the point where i have to try something different.

I had a full on panic attack the other night and i almost lost my husband and he threatened to take my child from me. (we have one kid together/i have two from a seperate marriage). I wasn't having this attack in front of my child but my husband said it scared him so bad that he can't see my son growing up around this constantly.

I am in therapy, on medication (buspar) i would love to hear your advise on this medication and any others with those with anxiety and which works best for you b/c i'm still trying it out. I'm about 2 months into taking and it seems to midly be helping.

I love to drink though. I wouldn't say i have a problem but i def have a few drinks a night. Weekends def more. My husband and i love to have a drink together when we get off work or two or three.

I just watched a video today about how alcohol can cause anxiety to be worse. As much as i love to socially drink with my husband/friends and have my relaxing glass of wine in the evenings I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE.

I'm seriously considering giving up alcohol. I'm willing at this point to try anything.

HAVE ANY OF YOU STOPPED DRINKING AND DID YOUR ANXIETY IMPROVE? thank you in advance and please be kind b/c i'm fighting all kinds of battles right now and fighting to save my family.
 

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Thanks, stupidly i'm afraid it is going to make anxiety worse if i don't have that crutch b/c when i am drinking in the moment it calms me. Also i'm afraid i won't have that connection with my husband. We like to have our porch drinks and i'm afraid he will find me boring. I know i sound silly but yes i am going to try to do this b/c i have to.
The alcohol is not actually helping you long-term, socially or with your anxiety. For real help you need medication, therapy, learning techniques to help your anxiety and actually doing them. Those three things, especially the techniques, will help you in the moment and be far healthier and long-term.

You don't have to lose time with your husband... You can sit on the porch and drink an non-alcoholic drinks, or hell, even chocolate milk. There isn't a law that if it's not alcoholic you can't be on the porch.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
No to alcohol.

You think you’re boring when you don’t drink?
So you are saying drop the alcohol? and no i'm not saying i'm boring but it is one of the things my husband enjoy doing together sadly. Most of our things we do together and with our friends involve alcohol.
 

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So you are saying drop the alcohol? and no i'm not saying i'm boring but it is one of the things my husband enjoy doing together sadly. Most of our things we do together and with our friends involve alcohol.
So, how about this. What did you do for your three (I think) pregnancies? I'm sure you didn't sit at home every time your friends got together. You don't have to drink, even if others do.
 

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To begin with, a single drink in the evening is fine. The thing is, it's the mindset which with one approaches said drink. Sure, I'll kick back once in awhile (NOT nightly) with a mixed drink. As a rule, it's when I have guests over for dinner.

You are looking at the drink as a way to self-medicate from the anxiety you're experiencing. Not good. However, to sit with your husband and nurse a drink while talking is fine. So can you approach drinking as nothing more than a social activity? Can you approach it as only on weekends?

I have GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) so I understand what you are talking about. However, I don't have anxiety/panic attacks, I actually have anxiety episodes. I don't freak out, but it's more like a live wire zinging inside of me, which results in digestive disorders and acute insomnia. Best way to handle that is to work out.

Do you have a bike? Do you have safe areas in your community where you can take walks. Exercise helps alleviate anxiety.

I took Buspar and never found it was that effective for my anxiety. Benzodiazepines are best (Valium, Clonazepam, for example), but docs no longer want to prescribe them due to long-term effects. I take Paroxetine for my disorder. Works pretty well, although not all the time.

Using alcohol as a medication may relax you, but once you start relying on it to relax you are going down a slippery slope. JMO.
 

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Thanks, stupidly i'm afraid it is going to make anxiety worse if i don't have that crutch b/c when i am drinking in the moment it calms me. Also i'm afraid i won't have that connection with my husband. We like to have our porch drinks and i'm afraid he will find me boring. I know i sound silly but yes i am going to try to do this b/c i have to.
So, instead of drinking alcohol, drink something else with him. it's not the DRINKING that is important -- it's the time you are sharing WITH HIM on the porch that is important. Have water, have a coffee/tea, soda, etc. (be careful of the caffeine though!). Being WITH HIM is the connection, not the alcohol.
 

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Most of our things we do together and with our friends involve alcohol.
In my 20's this was the case. After that? Nope. I think revolving one's social life around drinking is a rite of passage for a lot of kids. What I consumed in college was excessive at times. I probably would drop dead if I drank that way now.

Maybe it's time to get new friends. BTW, how old are you and your husband?
 

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Discussion Starter #16
In my 20's this was the case. After that? Nope. I think revolving one's social life around drinking is a rite of passage for a lot of kids. What I consumed in college was excessive at times. I probably would drop dead if I drank that way now.

Maybe it's time to get new friends. BTW, how old are you and your husband?
35/37 I know! Anytime we hang out with friends it involves drinks. I weigh more now than I ever have and I know it’s from the drinking
 

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Stop the alcohol. You need to get better stress relievers, and healthy defense mechanisms. Find out whatever relaxes you. I like tea and a bubble bath when my anxiety is out of control.

Like someone said above, there are things that we do that help us short term in the moment, but these things actually hurt us long term, and alcohol is a big one. You need to find something that will help you in the short term, and help you in the long term (like sex or exercise or drinking tea).
 

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My mom spent about 4 years in a mental mess around my high school years. She was on elavil. I used to wish everyday my dad would divorce her. I suggest you try a different medication. I don’t promote drug use but if I were you I might try CBD oil or start smoking pot.
 

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Anytime we hang out with friends it involves drinks.
So what's the deal with your husband and these friends? Do they get really buzzed or downright drunk during social activities?

Frankly, at your age, you ARE hanging around the wrong people. There are plenty of things to do that don't involve drinking. Those whose social lives revolve around drinking are often just drunks. And I know of what I speak, having been married to two alcoholics. Take away their booze and they have no clue how to enjoy themselves.
 

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My mother use to drink alcohol as a way to deal with her anxiery, or as a way to not deal with issues. I hated it as a child. I loved my mom more than life, but when she started drinking I just hated her. I use to think she was destroying our family.
She was just so weak and dependent on my dad it drove me nuts because I thought she was the moon and sun and capable of anything and I wanted to be just like her. I wish she thought of herself as highly as I thought of her.
 
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