I've been feeling frustrated lately. As I've discussed before, I've been struggling with a low-sex drive for numerous reasons. My husband's sex-drive seems higher than ever. I probably only physically crave sex once a month (around when I'm ovulating). At any rate, I try to have sex with my husband around 2 times a week since I know once-a-month is not fair to him.
I guess I'm feeling a little resentful because it seems like even 2 times a week is not enough. After sex, he seems happy for the first day or two. Then he starts making all these sexual comments, gestures, and I can tell that sex is really on his mind again.
The problem is that I don't find all these gestures attractive at all. For instance, he will rush into the room while I'm changing and go "oooh" and raise his eyebrows. When I'm showering, he'll be right there opening the shower door. And he's always trying to show me his erection saying "look what happened." When I'm on the floor doing crunches he'll ask "can you do that in a bikini?" I honestly feel smothered sometimes, and like sex is all that is on his mind. I feel bad because I end up feeling like I just want some SPACE. I feel guilty because I feel like I should be enjoying this attention, but I'm not.
I wish we could find some things that we really enjoy together. I have so much that I love to do, but he has no interest in doing it. I recently finished my first half-marathon. Four kids later, I was tired of feeling frumpy and out-of-shape. So a couple of months ago, I decided enough was enough and I started jogging. It was hard, yeah. It wasn't always fun. But I finished the half in 2:10. It feels great to be back in shape! I've tried to encourage my husband to go and get some exercise, but he's always like "no. I'll just stay here and get fat."
We have no t.v. shows that we watch together. Instead, he usually watches television while I read or work online. Recently I did discover a mini-series that I LOVE. I wanted him to watch it with me. Nope. So I'm now watching it with a group of friends. He seems sad when I go out to watch it with them.
So I'm worried because I sometimes feel like we're drifting further apart, and I don't always find his sexual advances appealing. I would find it so much more of a turn-on if he gave me some space, went out, and did something for himself!
Does anyone have any advice? Am I a total jerk for feeling this way???
I guess I'm feeling a little resentful because it seems like even 2 times a week is not enough. After sex, he seems happy for the first day or two. Then he starts making all these sexual comments, gestures, and I can tell that sex is really on his mind again.
The problem is that I don't find all these gestures attractive at all. For instance, he will rush into the room while I'm changing and go "oooh" and raise his eyebrows. When I'm showering, he'll be right there opening the shower door. And he's always trying to show me his erection saying "look what happened." When I'm on the floor doing crunches he'll ask "can you do that in a bikini?" I honestly feel smothered sometimes, and like sex is all that is on his mind. I feel bad because I end up feeling like I just want some SPACE. I feel guilty because I feel like I should be enjoying this attention, but I'm not.
I wish we could find some things that we really enjoy together. I have so much that I love to do, but he has no interest in doing it. I recently finished my first half-marathon. Four kids later, I was tired of feeling frumpy and out-of-shape. So a couple of months ago, I decided enough was enough and I started jogging. It was hard, yeah. It wasn't always fun. But I finished the half in 2:10. It feels great to be back in shape! I've tried to encourage my husband to go and get some exercise, but he's always like "no. I'll just stay here and get fat."
We have no t.v. shows that we watch together. Instead, he usually watches television while I read or work online. Recently I did discover a mini-series that I LOVE. I wanted him to watch it with me. Nope. So I'm now watching it with a group of friends. He seems sad when I go out to watch it with them.
So I'm worried because I sometimes feel like we're drifting further apart, and I don't always find his sexual advances appealing. I would find it so much more of a turn-on if he gave me some space, went out, and did something for himself!
Does anyone have any advice? Am I a total jerk for feeling this way???