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Hi I keep dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend. It is always with a colleague who I do find attractive and get on well with. When I'm awake I don't let myself think about my colleague as it would be like cheating, so I'm guessing that is why I dream about him. I love my boyfriend and we have talked about getting married. Is it normal to be attracted to 2 people or does this mean I shouldn't be with my boyfriend.

Thank you x
 

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Stop trying to think about it, and stop trying to stop thinking about it and stop trying to stop dreaming about it. Just let it happen, and say to yourself "It's just a dream, whatever". But that's just what I do anyways when I keep dreaming of the same sh-t.
 

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Think a out what your life will be like without your boyfriend! If you're happy with that thought then Finnish with him and you'll be free to date who you like.
Don't cheat on him. The damage you will cause him and yourself is irreversible and will be carried on into all further relationships for both of you.
Just stop and think about what you are saying. How would you feel if your boyfriend was having those feelings About someone else? Again, if your not bothered, move on, but if it does bother you then you need to look at your relationship and work out why it is you are dreaming of cheating.
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being in a relationship doesn't mean your blind. Of coarse your gonna come across some one and think Dayum maybe even possibly have a quick flash of lust but if you do not start thinking of a way to act on it you should be normal. Now if your thinking of a way on how you could do it and get away with it , , , then you need to be single.
 

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Hi I keep dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend. It is always with a colleague who I do find attractive and get on well with. When I'm awake I don't let myself think about my colleague as it would be like cheating, so I'm guessing that is why I dream about him. I love my boyfriend and we have talked about getting married. Is it normal to be attracted to 2 people or does this mean I shouldn't be with my boyfriend.

Thank you x
Maybe you need to slack off on the colleague you're attracted a little bit.
You have a crush on him,and you are allowing it to control your feelings. It is confusing you.
Crushes are normal,attraction is normal. But you are supposed to know exactly when your feelings are crossing the line, and do something about it.
But that depends on how much you value your relationship with your boyfriend.
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thanks everyone! I definitely don't want to cheat on my boyfriend and my colleague is leaving work soon anyway. I just wondered if it is normal to like someone else and it seems like it's OK. Id there anyone out there who has married someone and never ever though about being with someone else? I wish it was that way but I'm not sure it ever will be :S x
 

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It's normal to be attracted to another person other than your mate. Wanting, even not acting, to cheat is definitely not ok.

Remember thought leads to action, always.
 

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Being attracted to other people is the most normal thing in the world.
Simply acknowledge to yourself that there is an attraction, but then remind yourself that as an adult we can all set appropriate boundaries. THroughout life, there will always be people to whom you might feel an attraction. Simply acknowledge it - and then keep firm boundaries to protect your relationship
David Olsen, PHD, LMFT
 

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You can't put boundaries on your subconscious mind and stop these dreams from happening. They are normal and you should putting in extra thoughts about it should stop.

I think viewing porn and fantasizing consciously of others is much worse in my opinion.
 
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