I guess it is no coincidence that the similarities between an alcoholic and a narcissist are startling. Which comes first? Is he an narcissistic alcoholic? or an alcoholic narcissist?He did quit drinking on his own. The exact moment I confronted him about the affair. He is a very empty person, it’s actually sad to see. I have spent the last 18 months almost acting like I was the one who had the affair. I didn’t want him to relapse so I was as loving and nurturing as possible. That’s my nature anyway so it wasn’t hard. It was not reciprocated and he just took and took but rarely returned the same kind of kindness. He always told me thank you for the things I was doing but it was hurtful. I could ramble forever but yes, I could see at times the person I thought I feel in love with. I don’t know if that person actually ever existed though, I may have conjured him up in my mind because that’s what I wanted. I don’t think I can help him, I am not sure he wants to be helped.