Okay, gotcha now! That was my husband’s excuse for cheating. Ummm... he was never home. Spent hours a day in the bar after work and when he was home he was a miserable jerk. Totally not sexually appealing. Put zero effort into our marriage except for wanting to have sex. Sorry but that’s not how it works. I brought this up hundreds of times. Try being around more, try being sober, try taking an interest in your family. Try giving me a break as I was raising our daughters all by myself. It’s common sense really. He had been sober for 18 months, quit on dday. He blames everything on the alcohol, if only it were that simple.The AP and her spouse.No sex between her and her spouse or my husband and her? My husband didn’t sleep in my bed so he and AP would be texting all evening and until late night. Whether he was home or not he’d be texting with her. Her spouse was also often not in bed. A few times she’d text that the bed was full but not often. None between her and her spouse reportedly from her. My husband said they, he and AP, never got physical but I am convinced it’s because she set that boundary. I told after a few weeks because to me if was all consuming not to. I kept feeling like I was keeping a bad secret and I felt so much better when I let it out. I told him tactfully and offered to speak with him if he wanted. On top of profusely apologizing.
No sex is a common refrain from cheaters as well as “it never got physical.”