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Hello. I have only been married for 3 years, but in that span of time my husband has been a liar. He started responding to personal ads on craigslist, and I have caught him engaging in this behavior 3 times. I know he has never gone through with physical cheating, as I don't think he would have the opportunity. So, when this last fiasco of personal ads happened, I told him that it might be too late for us, because I don't think I will ever trust him again. I told him that there was a good chance that the marriage was over, but I wasn't going to make any rash decisions. Mostly because I was raised with a traditional view that marriage is for better or worse. So I told him we really needed to get counseling or I just didn't know what I was going to do. It is now 5 months since I last caught him, and there has been no counseling at all. He doesn't want to do it, because his ego won't allow him to be accused of any wrongdoing. And, the ironic twist is, it's that outlandish ego that originally atttracted me.

I have that "he's messing around again" feeling, and I know that this will be it if I catch him. And now, he does have the opportunity to physically cheat as he is going back to school. I know you might say, "It's over, etc. . ." but he is my best friend and I love him that way so much I feel I can't leave him. I hope this makes sense to somebody, cause I am lost. It's like, if I was breaking up with my husband, I would want to cry on his shoulder. Does that make sense? Thanks in advance.
 

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Well, as long as you refuse to kick his lying cheating ass out, you're basically giving him permission to continue doing what he's doing. Why should he change his behaviour when he doesn't have any consequences for it??

You need to work on yourself so that you are not dependent on him for support and happiness.
 

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oh man! what is there to love about a lying cheating louse? it's great and all that you believe in your marriage vows for better or worse, but that does not including a lying cheating spouse. he's disrespecting you, treating you like garbage, not trustworthy at all. he does not deserve you and you sure as hell don't deserve this snake of a poor excuse for a husband. he may be your best friend but you're not his. best friends don't crush their best friends.
 

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For better or for worse....well, you're in the worse. Are you willing to accept, comply and overlook? If not, he shapes up NOW or ships out. Be firm and able to follow through.
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He has broken your trust, once broken he needs to earn it back. If he valued you he would be doing everything possible to redeem himself. Instead, it's rinse and repeat. You've heard the saying "When people show you who they are, believe them."

I know you love him, but you have to love yourself more.
 
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