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I have been with my husband for 8 years married 3. I love him so much we have been through a lot together. About 6 months ago he had an affair with a lot younger women. After the hurt and anger went away. We started working on are marriage and it has become stronger then it ever was. Here latley it seems to be going right back down the drain. He is starting to act the same way he did around the time of the affair. I am affraid he has had another affair or just filling the some way he did before the first affair. Normally my husband drives me nuts wanting sex. But here latley no matter what I do he still wont have anything to do with me. I have tryed outfits that would normally blow his but nothing.
I really don't know what to do he says its the medicine he is on for his bipoler. But he as been on it for long time and has been ok until now. It makes me think it is me. Which is leading me back down my anorexic path cause i have gained weight back since i have been in recovery. I am just really confused. thanks
 

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I have been with my husband for 8 years married 3. I love him so much we have been through a lot together. About 6 months ago he had an affair with a lot younger women. After the hurt and anger went away. We started working on are marriage and it has become stronger then it ever was. Here latley it seems to be going right back down the drain. He is starting to act the same way he did around the time of the affair. I am affraid he has had another affair or just filling the some way he did before the first affair. Normally my husband drives me nuts wanting sex. But here latley no matter what I do he still wont have anything to do with me. I have tryed outfits that would normally blow his but nothing.
I really don't know what to do he says its the medicine he is on for his bipoler. But he as been on it for long time and has been ok until now. It makes me think it is me. Which is leading me back down my anorexic path cause i have gained weight back since i have been in recovery. I am just really confused. thanks

If you haven't been to marriage counseling before, I think you should consider going now. You both have some real serious issues at play here that need to be addressed.
 

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I have been with my husband for 8 years married 3. I love him so much we have been through a lot together. About 6 months ago he had an affair with a lot younger women. After the hurt and anger went away. We started working on are marriage and it has become stronger then it ever was. Here latley it seems to be going right back down the drain. He is starting to act the same way he did around the time of the affair. I am affraid he has had another affair or just filling the some way he did before the first affair. Normally my husband drives me nuts wanting sex. But here latley no matter what I do he still wont have anything to do with me. I have tryed outfits that would normally blow his but nothing.
I really don't know what to do he says its the medicine he is on for his bipoler. But he as been on it for long time and has been ok until now. It makes me think it is me. Which is leading me back down my anorexic path cause i have gained weight back since i have been in recovery. I am just really confused. thanks
A lot of those meds for psychological conditions completely destroy sex drive. Its very well documented. He may be telling the truth
 

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What brought him to have an affair? Or better, what do YOU think brought him to that point?

If he was medicated while the affair was going on, I would say it's not the meds.
 

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Also, the repair process has only been in the last 6 months. IMO that's not a long time at all, affairs aren't like colds you just 'get over' and move on from. The hurt and anger is still simmering under the surface, whether you address it or not.

You and your husband need to really talk about what has happened.
 

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Also, the repair process has only been in the last 6 months. IMO that's not a long time at all, affairs aren't like colds you just 'get over' and move on from. The hurt and anger is still simmering under the surface, whether you address it or not.

You and your husband need to really talk about what has happened.
:iagree:

subconsciousness is an amazing thing.

While the medicine could be the cause here. How is your relationship other than the infidelity?

Do you guys fight, argue, disagree a lot?

Do you express concern for the cheating a lot since it has happened? Is it something you constantly discuss to try and see if he will slip up and agree that he is doing it again?

Have you cheated on him?

Believe me when I tell you anorexic women are not the most attractive thing in the world.

Don't let it get the best of you and you change yourself because the younger girl is skinny.

How do you know that's why he cheated? You don't yet. Have you asked him why he did it?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

- Junior
 

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Could it be the affair never ended which is why he's acting so hokey?
I don't believe that would be the case. In the situation the relationship wouldn't of become better. I think that's why it got better. Maybe he realised he needed to focus on her more.

But we need to know how their life style is to explain what's going on.

People do things for many different reasons. And there's always a motive behind an action regardless of the action itself.

- Junior
 
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