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I have been with my fiance for 10 years and we are supposed to be married in 2 months. We have one child together and I have a son from a previous relationship. Yesterday, he told me that I am pushing him to cheat on me with his secretary because I often bring her up. Well, he told me he would not cheat on me he will tell me if he finds someone else. All of the wedding plans have been made and everything is almost paid for and I don't know what to do. I do have issues on trust because of my ex and my current guy has lied to me about the dumbest things.
 

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I have been with my fiance for 10 years and we are supposed to be married in 2 months. We have one child together and I have a son from a previous relationship. Yesterday, he told me that I am pushing him to cheat on me with his secretary because I often bring her up. Well, he told me he would not cheat on me he will tell me if he finds someone else. All of the wedding plans have been made and everything is almost paid for and I don't know what to do. I do have issues on trust because of my ex and my current guy has lied to me about the dumbest things.
Don't let wedding plans being already made , prevent you from halting what looks like the beginning of a life with someone who is going to blame you for his shortcomings. If you already have trust issues, and he is responding this way, you might need more time to decide what you truly expect in a marriage, and whether or not you want the pressure of your trust issues to be the main thrust behind everything that happens between you and a husband.
 

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Anyone who tells you that "you are pushing me to cheat" is a total loser! That is the biggest cop out I have ever heard.

I would push him right out the door! I have learned, after being walked all over in several relationships, not to tolerate manipulative tactics from anyone! And that is what he is doing -- manipulating you. He is placing you in a losing situation.

If he cheats he's going to blame it on you. No one makes the decision to cheat except for the cheater!

To me, this is just a foreshadowing of things to come in your marriage (you forced me to quit my job because you complained about the hours......you forced me to stay out all night drinking because of your nagging......you forced me to hit you because you're a PIA....)

Please, get out now. Cancel the wedding plans. You can do so much better. I know that canceling your wedding plans seems overwhelming now, but imagine having to explain to everyone why you were only married for 6 months or a year for the rest of your life (and then pay for a divorce on top of that!) -- That's what happened to me.
 

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Yesterday, he told me that I am pushing him to cheat on me with his secretary because I often bring her up. Well, he told me he would not cheat on me he will tell me if he finds someone else.
I can't really say more than the others have already said, but I do want to mention that I agree with them. He blamed his wanting to cheat on YOU... well that's just horribly wrong on every level I can think of. :mad: That part about "will tell me if he finds someone else" totally creeped me out. This is the guy who's about to commit to you in marriage? I can only say what I'd do, and that's that I would start doing some *serious* thinking about this whole situation.
 
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