Talk About Marriage banner

41 - 44 of 44 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,449 Posts
Yeah, I felt she’d try to come back. She knew she had a good thing going. I’m not one who thinks that her issues are just a tiny problem to work out. I think she has strong control freak tendencies and if you marry her — which is what she’s after — they would only get worse. So, no.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,814 Posts
One of the things which is notable about your story is that your GF did the opposite almost of an affair, she told you what she can't tolerate and left without cheating on you first.

Since I like dogs but don't want the work of owing one I think I would have gotten rid of the dog, especially for an asian lady.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,203 Posts
Thank you for your replies. ABHale's reply struck me hard. I actually don't trust her in her anger. Very sweet one day, and off her rocker the next. She's broken things when she's upset, and truthfully my fear of it getting worse is there. She is begging to get back with me, and I feel bad that I'm not willing. If I could just have her as a girlfriend, to do fun things with, I would be happy. But she wants to move in and talk about marriage. I tried the long heartfelt communications with her, but she just starts crying and apologizing. I've set the boundries and she's agreed with them, but then it only lasts a few weeks. If I could trust her anger, get her to accept my dog (with some changes I would need to make), and get her to stop saying I'm hurting her emotionally (because I couldn't have been nicer throughout), I would really be serious about forming a strong lasting relationship with her. I'm not there, so I think I'll just have to turn her sweet requests down. I've offered to get her counseling or therapy to work out her troubled mind, but she refuses that, and doesn't think she needs it. I do. Thank you again for helping me think through this. It's a sad situation.
Then you can walk away with your head held high ..... your a good man !!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18 Posts
Discussion Starter #44
I've decided to disappear for a couple months. Showing her that I won't put up with any of her nonsense. I don't want to hurt her, but only when she knows I'm truly willing to walk away, maybe she will reevaluate what's truly important for her. After the months, if she still wants to try again, I will ask that we (both of us) go to counseling of some sorts to work out true expectations for both sides. I'm willing to make improvements in myself (for her), but there will never come a time where I will kill my dog for anyone. If she doesn't come back, I'll consider myself lucky to have gone through this, and just live my life for myself. There won't be another woman who will accept my medical condition. and want to form the relationship with me like my GF. And that will be OK. Thank you all again for your thoughts, advice and care.
 
41 - 44 of 44 Posts
Top