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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When we were first married we had a great sex life. Any position was OK. Suddenly after 10 years my wife all the sudden says that she will not longer do doggiestyle or any position from behind because it makes her feel like a dog and is not as personable. She claims she was abused by a relative reaching down her pants from behind. All the sudden, I cannot even hug her from behind now because it makes her think of this. This is frustrating because it all the sudden stopped something I really liked in the relationship.
The more I talk about it the more planted she becomes in her position. How do you get her to let loose or am I the one that is wrong for even wanting her to? It has been a few years since she stopped.
 

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You poor poor guy. I would suggest she seek help. I could understand no sex from behind from being traumatized, but no hugging from behind? If its that traumatizing to her she has issues that probably should be addressed. Did you ask why she use to allow it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
She was ok with it, then it had to stop? Seems unreasonable to me. Have you hounded her about it?
Yes. She will jab me or hit me if I try to hug her from behind.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
You poor poor guy. I would suggest she seek help. I could understand no sex from behind from being traumatized, but no hugging from behind? If its that traumatizing to her she has issues that probably should be addressed. Did you ask why she use to allow it?
She says that now it feels degrading. Not sure why the sudden change.
 

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Hmm. I'd probably say, "Degrading? It's much too late to backtrack now!"
 

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How is it degrading if she loves you and wants to make you happy. I'd say beyond some help for her I'd try and make bargains "If no doggie style then I get to do this"

Personally this would be a relationship stopper for me if she didn't seek help. While she may feel degraded what does that say about how she feels about you when you are the one performing the act.

Most women love this position as it hits their G-Spot and allows you to reach around and stimulate their #1 zone. ;)
 

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So what are your ages? I think that your wife's total rationale about all of this is basically skewed. Either that, or she's hiding something!


Provided that she'll go, you both need MC, pronto!
 

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Ask her to hug you standing behind you. Ask her to put her arms around your shoulders and hug/hold you. Ask her to do this often. After a while ask her if she feels like she is dominating you when she hugs you from behind. Open up the discussion that way.
 

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I would question why everything was okay before, and now, all of a sudden, it's demeaning after 10 years. I'm not dismissing the abuse factor, but the timing is all wrong. It's like being an avid bicycle rider and then suddenly stopping because you crashed 10 years ago. This doesn't make any sense to me.
 

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op there are 100 positions in the kama sutra maybe its time to try something ells
 

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Man, that's one of the best. So much submission that way.

Sorry to hear that.
I don't understand either why all of a sudden?
Had she discussed this issue with you before this had arised?

There is something I learned in class about a trigger for something traumatizing happening to an individual but not knowing it for so many years later. Could this have possibly happened to her?
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Ask her to hug you standing behind you. Ask her to put her arms around your shoulders and hug/hold you. Ask her to do this often. After a while ask her if she feels like she is dominating you when she hugs you from behind. Open up the discussion that way.
Thanks. Let me try that one.
 
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