Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 20 of 57 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
...ever make an effort to be sexy? I'm not asking if you find your wife/husband sexy or if your spouse is physically attractive. I'm not asking if you find your spouse sexy because of that cute little thing the he/she does.
I'm asking if your spouse ever makes a concious decision to do something to be sexy. Do they intentionally behave a certain way (in or out of the bedroom)? Do they wear certain clothing or fashion styles (revealing or form fitting clothes, heels, etc)? And I'm not talking about all of the time. Whether its just once in a while or all of the time, I'm just wondering if there are spouses that want to work on "being sexy".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
166 Posts
I have tried, but go totally unnoticed...after 18 years I am trying so damn hard...but he is obliviously "comfortable" as he puts it...I have not been told I look nice, sexy, any sort of compliment in YEARS....unless I ask, which I don't anymore....I literally have no idea what to do...so I do my own thing....and am frightened...but he claims he loves me, and I should "just know" after 18 years...ugh.....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
I have tried, but go totally unnoticed...after 18 years I am trying so damn hard...but he is obliviously "comfortable" as he puts it...I have not been told I look nice, sexy, any sort of compliment in YEARS....unless I ask, which I don't anymore....I literally have no idea what to do...so I do my own thing....and am frightened...but he claims he loves me, and I should "just know" after 18 years...ugh.....
So what are the sort of things that you have tried? And why are you trying? I'm not trying to be funny and it is not a trick question. I am genuinely curious. Are you trying to get him more interested in you sexually? Is it because you want to feel better and more confident about yourself?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
296 Posts
My wife knows exactly what to wear to show off her sexiest assets :) she would always wear skirts to show off her legs and open toed shoes to show off her sexy feet!! I've shared a few pictures of these on numerous times threads already ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
My wife knows exactly what to wear to show off her sexiest assets :) she would always wear skirts to show off her legs and open toed shoes to show off her sexy feet!! I've shared a few pictures of these on numerous times threads already ;)
So your wife definitely makes an effort. Does she do this because she knows you like it or is it something that just comes naturally to her?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
166 Posts
Trying to spice things up a bit. We have had a rough couple of years due to some family stuff....trying to up my confidence (it was destroyed last year) and also to interest him...tight fitting clothing 2home, I dress up for work everyday and come home like that...when I change, I change into "cute" comfortable clothes instead of my standard sweats & t-shirt. I bought a couple of thongs (HATE THEM!) they didn't last long...he wasn't interested...ain't givin myself a freakin wedgie if he ain't into it...

There is ZERO passion...and I NEED to get that back....this place helps alot, but he refuses to read anything, make any real changes, because "after 18 years it's all good" :confused:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Trying to spice things up a bit. We have had a rough couple of years due to some family stuff....trying to up my confidence (it was destroyed last year) and also to interest him...tight fitting clothing 2home, I dress up for work everyday and come home like that...when I change, I change into "cute" comfortable clothes instead of my standard sweats & t-shirt. I bought a couple of thongs (HATE THEM!) they didn't last long...he wasn't interested...ain't givin myself a freakin wedgie if he ain't into it...

There is ZERO passion...and I NEED to get that back....this place helps alot, but he refuses to read anything, make any real changes, because "after 18 years it's all good" :confused:
Good for you! You are at least trying. I'm sorry that your husband is not terribly responsive to you. Its sad when an effort goes unnoticed. It seems that he has become complacent and has a comfort level with the way things are in the relationship and is unwilling to change. He doesn't see the need to change. If my wife were to make the same types of effort (wearing thongs, etc), believe me I would notice. She actually promised to do so and even bought one from VS about 2-3 months ago, but she has never worn it. sigh.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
296 Posts
So your wife definitely makes an effort. Does she do this because she knows you like it or is it something that just comes naturally to her?
I truely believe it's both. She wants to make me happy and proud of her but then again she also does it becuse she of course wants to look nice ....... not only for me or for others who will see her but first and foremost for her self :)

Its a win , win situation !!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I truely believe it's both. She wants to make me happy and proud of her but then again she also does it becuse she of course wants to look nice ....... not only for me or for others who will see her but first and foremost for her self :)

Its a win , win situation !!!
BRAVO! Its always good when things come together like that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
89 Posts
I have always been a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, but I do make an effort to dress up as often as possible before he gets home from work. (The job I work at isn't really a place to wear dressy clothes, as I am only around mechanics and truck drivers all day) So I tend to get off work and I'll shower and do my hair and makeup and put on one of the outfits I know he likes, like a dress or skirt. When I first started doing this he walked in and said, "wow! you look nice. What are you all dressed up for?" I simply told him, "To hear you say that, I haven't heard it for a long time." I think that got to him, because even if I wasn't trying to impress him, the compliments came alot more often after that.
Him on the other hand, I can't say he really goes out of his way to do anything, but then he knows that I find everything he does sexy. (well ALMOST everything, lol)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
My wife definitely does. She "grooms" herself for my pleasure, not how she'd choose to on her own. I've noticed if I compliment a certain outfit, it will get into the rotation more regularly. She used to wear nice looking yoga pants around the house for comfort. She then started wearing sweats a lot. One day the yoga pants came out and I told her how much sexier she looks in those vs. the sweats. Haven't seen the sweats since!
Posted via Mobile Device
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
I have always been a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, but I do make an effort to dress up as often as possible before he gets home from work. (The job I work at isn't really a place to wear dressy clothes, as I am only around mechanics and truck drivers all day) So I tend to get off work and I'll shower and do my hair and makeup and put on one of the outfits I know he likes, like a dress or skirt. When I first started doing this he walked in and said, "wow! you look nice. What are you all dressed up for?" I simply told him, "To hear you say that, I haven't heard it for a long time." I think that got to him, because even if I wasn't trying to impress him, the compliments came alot more often after that.
Him on the other hand, I can't say he really goes out of his way to do anything, but then he knows that I find everything he does sexy. (well ALMOST everything, lol)
That's awesome to hear that you put in the effort. I'll ask you the same question as the others...why do you put in the effort? Is it just to hear his appreciative comments or do you do it for yourself as well?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
My wife definitely does. She "grooms" herself for my pleasure, not how she'd choose to on her own. I've noticed if I compliment a certain outfit, it will get into the rotation more regularly. She used to wear nice looking yoga pants around the house for comfort. She then started wearing sweats a lot. One day the yoga pants came out and I told her how much sexier she looks in those vs. the sweats. Haven't seen the sweats since!
Posted via Mobile Device
:smthumbup: It sounds as though your wife values your approval and seeks to please you. That's great.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
61 Posts
I probably don't dress "sexy" enough for my husband..but I do try, just not all the time..like when the occasion calls for it. I've always dressed casual and comfortable by default (without looking sloppy haha). But yeah..my husband probably wishes I made more of an effort to show off more skin. He can never keep his hands off of me. I do plan to start making more of an effort though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
89 Posts
Both reasons. If I think I look nice, then I feel much more confident. But when he tells me that he thinks I look nice, it is a much greater feeling. I just love to please him and see the look on his face too, when he realizes that I have worked all day, dealt with the kids, house and dinner, but still have the energy to put forth to get his attention.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
Both reasons. If I think I look nice, then I feel much more confident. But when he tells me that he thinks I look nice, it is a much greater feeling. I just love to please him and see the look on his face too, when he realizes that I have worked all day, dealt with the kids, house and dinner, but still have the energy to put forth to get his attention.
:smnotworthy::smthumbup:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,292 Posts
My wife definitely does. She "grooms" herself for my pleasure, not how she'd choose to on her own. I've noticed if I compliment a certain outfit, it will get into the rotation more regularly. She used to wear nice looking yoga pants around the house for comfort. She then started wearing sweats a lot. One day the yoga pants came out and I told her how much sexier she looks in those vs. the sweats. Haven't seen the sweats since!
Posted via Mobile Device
I do this :) There are certain outfits that he always tells me how sexy I look in so yes they are worn more often.

After a LTR where there were very few comments I simply lost my sexy and TBH for my age I am a reasonably shapely woman. Now in my current relationship he compliments me a lot, the sexy has come back full force.
When I shop for clothing I put more thought into it, what will look good on me, what I think he would find sexy on me.

It's a win/win, I really enjoy looking my best, I thrive on the reaction he gives me and I know he is happy with the visual.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,969 Posts
...ever make an effort to be sexy? I'm not asking if you find your wife/husband sexy or if your spouse is physically attractive. I'm not asking if you find your spouse sexy because of that cute little thing the he/she does.
I'm asking if your spouse ever makes a concious decision to do something to be sexy. Do they intentionally behave a certain way (in or out of the bedroom)? Do they wear certain clothing or fashion styles (revealing or form fitting clothes, heels, etc)? And I'm not talking about all of the time. Whether its just once in a while or all of the time, I'm just wondering if there are spouses that want to work on "being sexy".
I'm not sure if you are the same person, but I think you are the one who has been trying to get your wife to dress more sexy for a long time(?).

I typically just wear comfortable clothes and won't show off too much skin, as it just makes me feel uncomfortable. I have always dressed conservatively and believe that a woman's boobs belong inside her shirt, not hanging out. lol. I do wear some clothes that will show off my figure(tight clothing) and I do that mostly just to please my husband. I like hearing my husband compliment the way that I look and love that he respects my feelings on the way I dress. I refuse to wear thongs and he does not push me to do so. When we go out for date night, both of us will dress up for one another. I love seeing my husband in a good pair of jeans and a nice shirt.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,156 Posts
When my hubby 'tuned out', I threw myself into making myself more attractive. I put the fork down and went to the gym and dropped the weight I had gained, bought all new pretty underwear, bras, lingerie and clothing. Invested in some amazing shoes - stiletto heels. Made sure hair and makeup were updated.

It just makes me feel good to do this. I know he's proud of how I look and most importantly, it really picked up my self esteem in the process.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,292 Posts
When my hubby 'tuned out', I threw myself into making myself more attractive. I put the fork down and went to the gym and dropped the weight I had gained, bought all new pretty underwear, bras, lingerie and clothing. Invested in some amazing shoes - stiletto heels. Made sure hair and makeup were updated.

It just makes me feel good to do this. I know he's proud of how I look and most importantly, it really picked up my self esteem in the process.
Best money a woman can spend :smthumbup:
 
1 - 20 of 57 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top