15 years later, it's not a shut and locked door at all. It'll always come up once in a while. We're happy now but it never goes away.Oddly enough I am just at the stage of divorce with my WW but I did speak to a chap perhaps 6 years ago.
He had an affair a few years into his marriage and he was, at that point, about 65 years old after a marriage of 40 years.
He said his wife still brought it up and never let him forget it - he didn't sound bitter at all and was very grateful that his wife had given him a 2nd chance.
They had grandchildren and had built a family with pride despite his affair.
So, his reconciliation was probably still ongoing, but he and his wife had slowly but surely replaced the pain and bitterness with love and respect - maybe to the extent that from 100% pain all those years ago they now had 1% pain and 99% love.
That's how I thought about it; just a shame it looks like we will never experience it