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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm in my forties now and still considered attractive. But being 44 isn't the same as being 24. Our youth obsessed culture doesn't see a 44 year old woman as being as desirable as those in their 20's and 30's. This bother's me. Does it bother you?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
My 52 year old wife is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. If you and I ever meet, you might be the second most beautiful. Hard for a 20-something to have the same depth.

So, no, it doesn't bother me and it shouldn't bother you. :)
LOL. That's very sweet. I probably should stay off the internet on sites that talk about your "desirability" index. It so freaking depressing!
 

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I will admit when I hit 45 this did bother me because suddenly I was closer to 50 than I was to 40. I started noticing my age and yes it upset me.

Then I began to make changes in my life for the better. I began to grow into my age and cherish it. I started working out, dressing better, lost weight, downsized my life, made some changes I'd wanted to do, etc. Like wazza said I began to realize I had depth that the 20 somethings can't begin to compete with.

There is a line in the movie Fried Green Tomato's that sums up how I feel these days. These young girls took the middle aged woman's parking spot giggling "face it lady we're younger and faster". The middle aged woman rams her car into the back of their's saying "face it girls I'm older and I have more insurance". LOL

Yeah that's totally me. You couldn't pay me to be 20 again. I LOVE being 46. It's an awesome age. I've been happily married for 21 years, I have 3 great kids, my husband thinks I'm beautiful, and yes I have plenty of insurance. LOL
 

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If a 20-something wrote the index it will be shallow.

And my first post was the truth, not just an attempt to be nice. I genuinely could not imagine trading my wife in for a younger model. Could think of nothing worse.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I will admit when I hit 45 this did bother me because suddenly I was closer to 50 than I was to 40. I started noticing my age and yes it bothered me.

Then I began to make changes in my life for the better. I began to grow into my age and cherish it. I started working out, dressing better, lost weight, downsized my life, made some changes I'd wanted to do, etc. Like wazza said I began to realize I had depth that the 20 somethings can't begin to compete with.

There is a line in the movie Fried Green Tomato's that sums up how I feel these days. These young girls took the middle aged woman's parking spot giggling "face it lady we're younger and faster". The middle aged woman rams her car into the back of their's saying "face it girls I'm older and I have more insurance". LOL

Yeah that's totally me. You couldn't pay me to be 20 again. I LOVE being 46. It's an awesome age.
I love that movie! I need to come to terms with being 44. When I was in my 20's I felt like I had a certain power in this world. I never made a lot of money or had a fabulous personality so I could sort of get by on my looks. But I can't do that anymore because no matter how much time I spend getting ready I don't look like I did and it hurts. The funny thing is I'm still battling pimples and trying to figure out how to tame frizz. I guess some things never change.
 

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I think I feel better about myself at 45 than I did at 25. I don't care so much about pleasing others now, so I have less anxiety about myself. I wear less make-up now and look great anyway, hah!

Our youth culture is silly. I don't need every man out there to think I'm attractive or to fantasize about being with me (sex), just the one man in my life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
If a 20-something wrote the index it will be shallow.

And my first post was the truth, not just an attempt to be nice. I genuinely could not imagine trading my wife in for a younger model. Could think of nothing worse.
It was a test on blog that was probably written by a guy in his 20's. But honestly, I've read soooo many posts here that point out how women in their 40's aren't so desirable anymore and how their going to have a hard time meeting people. Granted this stuff is posted in the cheating section of the forum but there is truth in that train of thought. My marriage is good but I have this fear that something will happen to my husband and I'll be single.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I think I feel better about myself at 45 than I did at 25. I don't care so much about pleasing others now, so I have less anxiety about myself. I wear less make-up now and look great anyway, hah!

Our youth culture is silly. I don't need every man out there to think I'm attractive or to fantasize about being with me (sex), just the one man in my life.
I feel just as insecure at 44 as I did at 24. I'm just older not better. LOL. I don't wear makeup either because I actually look younger without it. I need to develop a sense of self.
 

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My marriage is good but I have this fear that something will happen to my husband and I'll be single.
Your fears are completely unfounded. I've got over 40 friends now who are divorced and ALL OF THEM have found someone new. No exceptions.

I used to have this fear too but I realize how silly it is. Do you think ALL men over 40 can get 20 or even 30 something year old women? Really? Like somehow we're now excluded from the dating pool because of our age? If that's true then a lot of men are going to be single too. LOL
 

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It was a test on blog that was probably written by a guy in his 20's. But honestly, I've read soooo many posts here that point out how women in their 40's aren't so desirable anymore and how their going to have a hard time meeting people. Granted this stuff is posted in the cheating section of the forum but there is truth in that train of thought. My marriage is good but I have this fear that something will happen to my husband and I'll be single.
If you just want wild, promiscuous sex, maybe it is an issue, though even there a lot of that stuff is written by betrayed spouses trying to point out how their ex wives made bad decisions choosing to be cougars and will end up lonely.

I can assure you, as a male I check out older women as well as younger when walking down the street.

And if one thing ever appends to your husband, heaven forbid, there will be other guys who want you.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Your fears are completely unfounded. I've got over 40 friends now who are divorced and ALL OF THEM have found someone new. No exceptions.

I used to have this fear too but I realize how silly it is. Do you think ALL men over 40 can get 20 or even 30 something year old women? Really? Like somehow we're now excluded from the dating pool because of our age? If that's true then a lot of men are going to be single too. LOL
That's true. But I have a friend my age and she's never been married and cannot find a boyfriend. I do think her standards are somewhat impossible but still she really can't get a date. But even when we were in our 20's she didn't date much so I shouldn't go by her.

I hope my husband lives forever and nothing takes him away from me.
 

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Aging certainly has a way of humbling women.

Not only do looks begin to fade, but men become a smaller fraction of the population as you look at increasing ages (men are generally less healthy and don't live as long as women). This is why divorced men remarry so quickly: it's not because men want marriage more, there simply aren't enough men to go around.

I've noticed that women become a lot nicer to you once they turn 30 and are not in a relationship. They have to be. However, it's little consolation to know that a woman has only become interested in you because her looks are fading and demographics are turning against her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
If you just want wild, promiscuous sex, maybe it is an issue, though even there a lot of that stuff is written by betrayed spouses trying to point out how their ex wives made bad decisions choosing to be cougars and will end up lonely.

I can assure you, as a male I check out older women as well as younger when walking down the street.

And if one thing ever appends to your husband, heaven forbid, there will be other guys who want you.
I don't understand the whole cougar concept. When I look at men in their 20's they look like children to me. If they flirted with me I'd find it funny but sort of...perverted. I'm not sure I'd even be flattered because I'd probably be too suspicious.

I'm glad to know that grown men like you do look at women their age and find them attractive.
 

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Do you think ALL men over 40 can get 20 or even 30 something year old women?
Do you think we even want a relationship with those younger women?

Seriously, beyond a booty call and an ego boost, what's the point? Give me someone I can make love to and then really talk to any day.

Not theory, I have had younger women show interest, and apart from being happily married, I just don't want shallowness.
 

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I'm in my forties now and still considered attractive. But being 44 isn't the same as being 24. Our youth obsessed culture doesn't see a 44 year old woman as being as desirable as those in their 20's and 30's. This bother's me. Does it bother you?
No, not at all.

I had my years in the sun and no longer define myself by my desirability. Having said that, apparently I can still turn heads, but these days it amuses me more than anything :)

OP, a mature woman has her own unique charm. Don't sell yourself short by comparing yourself to younger women... It's futile and ultimately unattractive.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
No, not at all.

I had my years in the sun and no longer define myself by my desirability. Having said that, apparently I can still turn heads, but these days it amuses me more than anything :)

OP, a mature woman has her own unique charm. Don't sell yourself short by comparing yourself to younger women... It's futile and ultimately unattractive.
What I'm doing is comparing myself to my younger self and losing. It's so weird to see the actresses I grew up with no longer in the spotlight. I remember when Demi More was considered really hot, now she's a joke.

My life is the best it's ever been so that should make me happy. I want to be OK with growing older.
 

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No, it doesn't bother me. I'm not 44 years old yet. There are still some more years before I reach my mid-40s, but I'm honestly happy in my skin at the age I'm now. It took me this long to reach acceptance. I don't want to be in my 20s. I read this once on a sign "Don't regret getting old for it's a privilege denied to many."
 
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