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I usually come back here when things are getting me down. I've posted on here and been ripped and I'm fine with that, sometimes we need it. I'm back now because the wife had been on a roll again lately. Going to bed at 8 when I'm off and staying up till 12 or later when I'm working...Now she wants to (for whatever reason) keep throwing my mistakes up to our sons girlfriend. She's only 19 and our son is 17. How I've cheated, use to run the roads etc...not once mentioned her wrong doings. Even last night we were looking through pictures, a few of my ex best friend, her lover were in there. She just says, "that was an old friend of his". I don't say anything because I don't feel like I need to throw that stuff out there. But you'd think if she was so willing to trash me she would admit to her mistakes or not bring any of it up. I wanted to ask her why the pictures were still in there, but didn't, wanted to see if she'd throw them away...she didn't....so here I am. Going on 11 years and still beat my head in on those events. Reading Facebook post from 2010 and now knowing what they meant.
So, I think those pics should find their way into a shredder. SHE didn't throw them away -- no reason you can't.
Then "I have no idea what happened to them -- why would I look at them?"
 

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Discussion Starter #62
Reminds me of our last 10 years ... As I watch her on her phone, like most nights, I wonder what we are getting out of starting together other than watching our son grow up. We all went to dinner, a pretty expensive dinner, just because we haven't don't a lot since Corona and all was good until some song come on.... Some how I ruined this song for her, she couldn't say why but unknown to me I've ruined it for her... So she changed it and hasn't spoken a word to me since.... Has had the phone up to her face the last 2 hours non stop.
Wtf
 

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Reminds me of our last 10 years ... As I watch her on her phone, like most nights, I wonder what we are getting out of starting together other than watching our son grow up. We all went to dinner, a pretty expensive dinner, just because we haven't don't a lot since Corona and all was good until some song come on.... Some how I ruined this song for her, she couldn't say why but unknown to me I've ruined it for her... So she changed it and hasn't spoken a word to me since.... Has had the phone up to her face the last 2 hours non stop.
You are teaching her how she can treat you. What do you really expect? It sounds like you make excuses to do nothing.

Once your son graduates will you then make more excuses? Maybe wait until he gets through college?

You’re conflict avoidant it sounds like. It is your life and you could make it what you want. You’ll get out of life what you put into it.
 

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I don't know, I could...I think she has a thing for the guy she works with. We all put a tracking app on our phone when our son started driving, not too long ago it showed her at the guys house. She works at a local bank and he's the owner's son, close to our age. It's literally across the road from her work and she claims it must have just showed her there. She might be, she might not be. To say I don't care would be wrong but I'm not interested enough in knowing right now. Our son is almost 18 and I just want him to graduate this year without a cluster f here at home.
She has a boyfriend and it’s already a cluster ****.

Don't think your son doesn’t know at least that somethings up. He may know a lot more than you think.

The bad part is you are teaching your son what? It’s ok to get walked on and treated like crap. You are his father. Kids learn most from their parents. You maybe fine being a conflict avoidant doormat. Is this what you want for his future? You’re lack of action, making excuses are setting him up.
 

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Are you going to divorce when you’re done watching the kid grow up? Just asking out of curiosity.

That must have been a special song you ruined! I’m kidding, but really that seems a bit over the top on the drama.
I don't know, I think we will end up separated. I can see the arguments getting more intense as our son gets older. She has prob said she was done or leaving 10 times in the last 3 months..this is another reason I think she may have her eye on someone else.
 

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I don't know, I think we will end up separated. I can see the arguments getting more intense as our son gets older. She has prob said she was done or leaving 10 times in the last 3 months..this is another reason I think she may have her eye on someone else.
Sorry man, from what you’ve posted you appear to be in denial. She doesn’t just have her eye on someone else. They’ve already consummated their relationship.

Maybe reading “No More Mr Nice Guy” by glover would help you. It’s a free pdf download and short.

At least it would be good for your son to see something positive to help him in life. Right now you’re showing him what?
 
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