I am seeking your opinion as to whether my WW has been sincere in our reconciliation or am I being fooled again. After being cheated on by her I am no longer 100% trusting of my own perception of her.
The reconciliation appeared to have been going great over the past six months, in particular, with a little hiccup here and there. I knew it would take time and I could not expect perfection but continuous improvement.
Well, the other night we were getting along great and were getting ready to go out for dinner when all of a sudden she said something subtle that just rung like a bell in my ear. She said how she always tried to bring stability to our relationship. I calmly said to her, "Did you hear what you just said?" She replied, "Yes". I waited for her to correct herself and she didn't. I then told her that WSs do not have the habit of bringing stability to a household. One thing led to another and I began to tally several areas (minor not major) that she had actually been slipping on lately. She said she was lazy and that was why some of those things were slipping. These things that she let slip, while minor, were still part of our reconciliation agreement. So I asked her to go to a hotel for a couple of days so we could both think about it without fighting.
So after three days apart I get this email today,
"I miss you very much. I haven't been sleeping very well (who knew, eh) and I tear up easily and frequently. When I think about who and what I have been all my life I do not like it. I have dreams of regular everyday occurrences with strangers where I feel bad afterward about how I behave or come across. And even though I told myself before that I have to think before I react/speak in any and every situation I do not (big surprise, eh)...I feel that the situation happens too fast. I don't even know if that's an explanation or an excuse anymore.
I want you to ask me back but since I easily forget both my bad behavior and my pain I am afraid I will just go back to my same old self. And right now I can't honestly say that I feel like a different person and I don't have any answers. You miss my good parts but the rest of me doesn't cut it and doesn't compare favorably to others. And even though I think that deep down inside I am a good person (just misguided and shaped this way...liberal, eh) I haven't behaved as such and I have never really paid any consequences. Does anyone go through life without paying?
I have written and rewritten this email.
I miss you."
Your thoughts please...
The reconciliation appeared to have been going great over the past six months, in particular, with a little hiccup here and there. I knew it would take time and I could not expect perfection but continuous improvement.
Well, the other night we were getting along great and were getting ready to go out for dinner when all of a sudden she said something subtle that just rung like a bell in my ear. She said how she always tried to bring stability to our relationship. I calmly said to her, "Did you hear what you just said?" She replied, "Yes". I waited for her to correct herself and she didn't. I then told her that WSs do not have the habit of bringing stability to a household. One thing led to another and I began to tally several areas (minor not major) that she had actually been slipping on lately. She said she was lazy and that was why some of those things were slipping. These things that she let slip, while minor, were still part of our reconciliation agreement. So I asked her to go to a hotel for a couple of days so we could both think about it without fighting.
So after three days apart I get this email today,
"I miss you very much. I haven't been sleeping very well (who knew, eh) and I tear up easily and frequently. When I think about who and what I have been all my life I do not like it. I have dreams of regular everyday occurrences with strangers where I feel bad afterward about how I behave or come across. And even though I told myself before that I have to think before I react/speak in any and every situation I do not (big surprise, eh)...I feel that the situation happens too fast. I don't even know if that's an explanation or an excuse anymore.
I want you to ask me back but since I easily forget both my bad behavior and my pain I am afraid I will just go back to my same old self. And right now I can't honestly say that I feel like a different person and I don't have any answers. You miss my good parts but the rest of me doesn't cut it and doesn't compare favorably to others. And even though I think that deep down inside I am a good person (just misguided and shaped this way...liberal, eh) I haven't behaved as such and I have never really paid any consequences. Does anyone go through life without paying?
I have written and rewritten this email.
I miss you."
Your thoughts please...