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Because the goal isn’t getting me off, the goal is feeling him inside me for as long as he can possibly give it to me.
Fair enough. My wife gets dry and tight and lube only does so much. Shes is ready for me to finish up after about 20 minutes tops. Again, just talking PIV here. I think we do a lot of tantric type stuff, these long slow build ups, when we are alone and really getting down to business. The hard part about that is you are on the edge of O basically as soon as PIV starts. At least for us. So we do a lot of stop and go and switching positions and things to make that part last longer. But once shes had hers, I better hurry up or else it gets past pleasure and into uncomfortable for her. Usually we O together because it turns me on so much when she is, I lose all control myself.

Unfortunately FW, I have determined me and you just wouldn't work out together. :grin2: but you are still one of my faves here by far. :x
 

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My husband refuses my advances now and then. Lets say at least 20% of the time hahahaha

Normal. He is tired from work and stuff like that. Sometimes he works overnight, but most times he leaves between 4 and 5 in the mdorning to be home at 8 or 9 at night. He only wants to eat and watch tv for some minutes (but mostly sleeps with the tv on), sometimes ask for a massage, all shile our kid tries to play with him. With thos schedule is normal he doesnt have all the stamina, I guess. He is so tired he doesnt even have the energy to take a shower (wich is something, as its from our culture to shower between 2 and 3 times a day).

But if I start things he will continue until what he can do.
 

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This is interesting.

Here i thought that when I refused due to a fever with walking pneumonia or when I slipped a disk, I thought I was refusing due to illness and pain.

I didn't realize that it was all due to porn use.
If you have used so much porn that you end up with walking pneumonia and a slipped disc, it is very common for men try to blame only the illness and back pain for refusing a spouse.

https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/features/sex-and-low-back-pain#1
 

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I once sent my STBX an email with a picture of six different sexual positions we'd never done and said "Pick one, our bed, 9pm" He wrote back "no thanks"

Should have known then he was gay. LOL
Wow!! I'd give my eye teeth for my wife to send me emails like that. Great idea! Think I'll send one to the wife and see what happens.
 

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you seem to think this is somehow vindictive. It's just things the way they are. Your boyfriend will never think this of you because you will never live as roommates with your lover. It just isn't in your personality. You think about the health of the relationship. Then you plan, then you carry out those plans. You would never put up with someone who only dreams of a relationship, but never does the things that make one. You are already on the right track.
 

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Not a man, but I am all to familiar with bring refused sex by my husband of over 20 years. My husband has turned me down substantially more than I have turned him down, starting from the beginning of our relationship. His reasons vary, but the most common are, it's past his bedtime, he doesn't really like morning sex, his emotional state, or he's overworked. He had refused me more in a single year than I have in the 20+ years that we have been together. Not kidding, unfortunately.

Until I had a complete hysterectomy, a refusal from me was highly unlikely (maybe 1-2 times a year due to migraine, or other severely painful health issue like PCOS complications). My libido had always been extremely high. Surgical menopause slowed my sex drive down to a much more "normal" range. Sometimes it's frustrating, but at least he was able to stop worrying about keeping up to me. 😉
 

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We always talk about women refusing and denying men sex. So men, do you or have you refused your significant other sex?
Towards the end of my marriage, I refused a LOT. This was multi-factorial.

1. I knew my marriage was ending and didn't want to complicate anything with sex.

2. Throughout our marriage, sex was a HUGE issue. She just wasn't into it at all. In the last year, I told her she needed to change and we needed to have sex. She agreed and frequency increased.

3. What I failed to realize was it wasn't frequency that was lacking, it really was quality. She didn't want to try any toys. Oral was rare and never to completion. Sex was ALWAYS the same. I mean literally the same. We'd start off on our sides kissing. She'd rub her hands around my legs for a few minutes. MAYBE go down of me if I guided her head down. Then she'd climb on top of me or I'd climb on top of her. Anytime I tried to change this, it was really awkward and weird.

4. Anytime I brought this up and try ti spice things up, she'd freak out and say things were "fine."

5. She NEVER wanted to try anything new. Take a shower together? Nope. Sleep naked? Nope. Oral while we were watching TV? Nope.

6. I'd been in previous relationships and knew what a healthy sex life was supposed to be. She was a virgin when we married - HUGE mistake on my part. What I had with my ex was not healthy and prolonging it more than I had would only further kill me inside. So, when I resolved to divorce, I would just say "no" or go to bed after she did so things didn't get awkward. When she asked why I didn't want to anymore, I told her that the quality of our sex life was lacking and she had no desire to fix it as she shot down any ideas I had.
 

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Towards the end of my marriage, I refused a LOT. This was multi-factorial.

1. I knew my marriage was ending and didn't want to complicate anything with sex.

2. Throughout our marriage, sex was a HUGE issue. She just wasn't into it at all. In the last year, I told her she needed to change and we needed to have sex. She agreed and frequency increased.

3. What I failed to realize was it wasn't frequency that was lacking, it really was quality. She didn't want to try any toys. Oral was rare and never to completion. Sex was ALWAYS the same. I mean literally the same. We'd start off on our sides kissing. She'd rub her hands around my legs for a few minutes. MAYBE go down of me if I guided her head down. Then she'd climb on top of me or I'd climb on top of her. Anytime I tried to change this, it was really awkward and weird.

4. Anytime I brought this up and try ti spice things up, she'd freak out and say things were "fine."

5. She NEVER wanted to try anything new. Take a shower together? Nope. Sleep naked? Nope. Oral while we were watching TV? Nope.

6. I'd been in previous relationships and knew what a healthy sex life was supposed to be. She was a virgin when we married - HUGE mistake on my part. What I had with my ex was not healthy and prolonging it more than I had would only further kill me inside. So, when I resolved to divorce, I would just say "no" or go to bed after she did so things didn't get awkward. When she asked why I didn't want to anymore, I told her that the quality of our sex life was lacking and she had no desire to fix it as she shot down any ideas I had.
hmm..... this sounds like my marriage. But we are good
 

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Sometimes if I'm very tired. She does as well when she is tired. But, we always make the plan for some morning loving when we are two tired to tango at night.
 

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I don't get it. Put that on his peen? And then it goes inside of me?? How the hell could either of us feel anything like that? :frown2:

Don't worry, I don't need any help in this area. I'm an expert at getting what I want for myself. :wink2:
Just joking with ya. Yeah lidocaine is essentially what is in most penis numbiing creams and condoms for "climax control" I believe.

Confess to trying it once with the wife to see how long I could go. HORRIBLE. Couldnt feel much at all. Really does numb you. :grin2::crying: So while you might last longer, you dont feel anything which sucks, and you might last too long as was the case. Guess for minute men it might be worth it, but for most? :surprise:
 

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We always talk about women refusing and denying men sex. So men, do you or have you refused your significant other sex?
Use to be almost never but in the last few years I have refused her a lot with her becoming the prime initiator.

We are working on some life and relationship issues and getting a little better.
 

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After we were married for about 5 years my husband turned down sex constantly to the point of the marriage being sexless for the last few years. His choice. Sex is important to me. I've only turned it down when I was very sick or extremely tried.
 
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