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It has taken me a long time, a LTR (17 yrs) a divorce and recovering from it, a huge amount of soul searching, some counselling and a damn good look at life.

Finally now I know what a healthy relationship is. It is not that I am stupid or unthinking but I just got caught up in leading the life that I was. I put myself at the bottom of the list and made sure everyone else was happy.

Now I can see clearly. Reading forums like this has help immensely. I am now with an amazing man, we have been through some major life issues already and handled everything well. We communicate with respect and we are incredibly happy.

When I read some of the threads here my heart aches for people, as an outsider I just want to grab people and shake them. I can see that they are caught up in unhealthy situations and they are drowning.

Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like, do you live it?
 

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I'm probably 80% there. I still have a tendency to put my needs last but everyday I get stronger and then I'm less likely do this. For me I was compelled to do this because I was codependent and that's a hard habit to break.

What I see now is my fear is if I don't make others happy they will leave and today I'm thinking so what? LOL
 
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