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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Like if you get into a huge argument with your spouse, you're feeling depressed, or just having fun thinking of the idea, have you ever fantasized about being single and being by yourself and just being alone? Or how your life would be if you married someone else, etc.

Just interested to see what people think! My husband and I married very young and sometimes I fantasize about what my life would be like if I was single or if I waited to get married.
 

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Not really.

I'm happy with the lifestyle that's afforded to me by my SO. I enjoy being a SAHM, tending to the house, taking care of my daughter, and pursuing hobbies like gardening or doing volunteer work at my daughters school.

And I make sure to show my appreciation to him everyday; compliments, breakfast ready by the time he gets up for work & homecooked meal on the table when he gets home, plenty of sex, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
LOL, it's funny to see the responses here. I saw some other forums and lots of women were saying how they sometimes wish they were single or just for some alone time. So I thought I might ask you guys at this forum.

Well, that's really great you guys all have great relationships with your spouses! It's always good to hear that. ^^
 

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Most people will not relate to me, I dreamed of finding "young love"...something real, lasting and true...and I did.. I never had the 7 yr itch or the 14 yr itch or anything like this.. we were busy planning, building, achieving our dreams...with our growing family by our side....

In Mid Life....after all the kids, I wanted more FUN...excitement, more crazy sex.. like I felt we missed each other in some ways being too wrapped up in our kids /living for them....suddenly my fantasies took on a new realm...

I was thinking if I was single..
would I be in a world of [email protected]#.... "Cougar" would have fit me quite well.... but I was married.. and very happily so to a wonderful man who has always tried to give me the world... I did all I could to take HIM with me on that adventure....and it's been some of the greatest years of our marriage..

I still get excited over seeing Young Love.. our 2nd son just turned 17 days ago & he's been with his GF now for over 2 & a half yrs... some would think that is crazy.. but it's hard for me to go there... though I know how rare 1st loves end up together...and some do feel like they missed out later down the road...I've talked to our son about this side of the equation too.

I have no regrets being taken at age 15 and being with just one man for the last 32 yrs of my life....

It seems the great majority of singles -and especially those older, they never want to marry again, they see no point it in.. once jaded, Betrayed.. any romantic notions has been replaced by a harder shell.. not opening that door again .

If I was single (let's say if H passed away on me).. I feel like it would be a sea of sharks out there...and I would grow very very discouraged and disappointed...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Most people will not relate to me, I dreamed of finding "young love"...something real, lasting and true...and I did.. I never had the 7 yr itch or the 14 yr itch or anything like this.. we were busy planning, building, achieving our dreams...with our growing family by our side....

In Mid Life....after all the kids, I wanted more FUN...excitement, more crazy sex.. like I felt we missed each other in some ways being too wrapped up in our kids /living for them....suddenly my fantasies took on a new realm...

I was thinking if I was single..
would I be in a world of [email protected]#.... "Cougar" would have fit me quite well.... but I was married.. and very happily so to a wonderful man who has always tried to give me the world... I did all I could to take HIM with me on that adventure....and it's been some of the greatest years of our marriage..

I still get excited over seeing Young Love.. our 2nd son just turned 17 days ago & he's been with his GF now for over 2 & a half yrs... some would think that is crazy.. but it's hard for me to go there... though I know how rare 1st loves end up together...and some do feel like they missed out later down the road...I've talked to our son about this side of the equation too.

I have no regrets being taken at age 15 and being with just one man for the last 32 yrs of my life....

It seems the great majority of singles -and especially those older, they never want to marry again, they see no point it in.. once jaded, Betrayed.. any romantic notions has been replaced by a harder shell.. not opening that door again .

If I was single (let's say if H passed away on me).. I feel like it would be a sea of sharks out there...and I would grow very very discouraged and disappointed...
My husband and I married young (I'm 20 and he is 25). We don't have children and we are still finishing up getting our degrees. The best part about being married young is that we get to grow together and we always have someone that will watch, support, and experience things with us. I think the only downfall with marrying young is, like you said, sometimes I wonder if I missed out on anything. My best friend is single and dorming at her university and sometimes I wonder things like "Well, what if I was single and experienced the college life as a single adult? I wonder how that would be." But then when I think about the things that she is always complaining about, i.e. being lonely, meeting a bunch of perverts/*******s, everyone is drunk, etc, the typical college life, it makes me feel very thankful that I didn't have to go through that trial and error process.

I know a lot of people spend years dating and just meeting tons of bad matches and there is the stress of "When will I get married?" and so on and I feel thankful that I found my partner so early in life.

But that doesn't mean that I am always 100% happy, we have our struggles and like I said, sometimes I just imagine what my life would be if I was on my own. Not that I'd ever leave my husband, but it's just a silly thought to take a step out of my present life and just daydream. Like imaging yourself marrying a celebrity and being a celebrity wife or silly things like that, hehe.
 

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If the thought crosses my mind I've learned it's better to not entertain it. I think as an extremely independent person it's natural to have thoughts of "freedom" and solitude during a disagreement. But it's damaging to sit and actively fantasize about it.It creates that grass is greener scenario that can only cause trouble in your marriage.
 

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I've had dreams that I'm single but never fantasised about it.
 

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But that doesn't mean that I am always 100% happy, we have our struggles and like I said, sometimes I just imagine what my life would be if I was on my own. Not that I'd ever leave my husband, but it's just a silly thought to take a step out of my present life and just daydream. Like imaging yourself marrying a celebrity and being a celebrity wife or silly things like that, hehe.
I'm pretty sure my mind would go there too.... If we didn't get along and there were emotional needs I felt he was stomping on, or I was constantly grasping for...ya know...(like on the list below)... I assume the struggles you do have could be summed up with your feeling he is not meeting some of these needs...and it hurts, it's disheartening...you & he can't find that common ground, that peace...maybe you had at one time....would you say this is true?

Me and my H do fight now & then....but it's not often.. we make up quickly...no stuffing / no resentment... I worry more about something happening to him over ever wishing I had freedom to explore... I would just feel so lost...like that old sappy classic by Bread.... Everything I Own .... If this even comes on the radio...I have to turn it -or the tears would start to flow... just thinking about it... that's pretty bad , huh!

Taken from His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage ...the 10 emotional needs discussed in each chapter...

1. Admiration
2. Affection
3. Conversation
4. Domestic support
5. Family commitment
6. Financial support
7. Honesty and openness
8. Physical attractiveness
9. Recreational companionship
10. Sexual fulfillment
 

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I like alone time but I don't wish I was single. I was 31 and divorced when we met; I didn't get around all that much but I did get around enough to know how much crap is out there, so I appreciate what I have now.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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NO, I have never thought that, In fact we do not argue, we haven't for a long time, we never have nothing to argue about.

I enjoy the life that i have, like PP said i love my roll as a SAHM i love being a mother, and i love what we have.....

I am glad i am not single Tbh, I enjoy Keeping my husband happy... I could not think of nothing worse:)
 
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Yes, though "fantasize" might be the wrong word. I wonder often what it would be like; how it would be better, how it would be worse. I think it's natural to contemplate where we'd be and what life would be like under different circumstances. Sometimes my husband and I talk about it together. Sometimes we talk about what life would be like if we'd decided not not have kids. It's less a "I wish I were single" sort of fantasy for me than it is a "gee, what would THAT be like?" musing.
 

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When I was still with my ex, I certainly did. I also fantasized about being in a GOOD marriage, and what that would be like! Now that I'm remarried, I know what a truly good marriage is like (it's as good as or better than my long-ago fantasies!), and I have no desire to be single so don't fantasize about that anymore.
 

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My life up until meeting my spouse was a hectic one. I grew up way too quick, had to move a lot, (I went to over twenty public schools growing up), had to raise myself since I was thirteen when my mom died etc. I also partied a lot in my teens and did things most people would do in their twenties. By the time I met my spouse, I knew I wanted to settle down, raise a family and lead a much quieter, more peaceful life. Boring is good to me, I think it's underrated as I lived a life full of "adventure" and uncertainty and much prefer the quiet, steady life I have now.

I was already a mother before I went to college. I still have a lot of good memories from college and the friends I made there. I also got to see a lot/live it vicariously through friends. I didn't feel I was missing out and still had a great time but was glad to get to go home to a family every night.

He was unfaithful so we separated from 2012 - 2013 and I was single for nearly a year. Although I would have preferred not to be in the position where I needed to separate, part of me is glad that it happened. I hadn't been single as an adult. It's nice to know that I can be alone and thrive on my own. There definitely are some perks to being single but I think there are more in a marriage/committed relationship and raising a family.
 
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I've had those fantasies, especially when we were separated. Of course, when I was single I fantasized about being married. At the root of those fantasies is always a dissatisfaction with myself and a feeling of helplessness, both of which I can actually work on and turn around without needing someone else to do anything different.
 
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