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Discussion Starter #1
I've noticed that when people say their partner starts giving the "love you but not in-love" speech and "I'm not happy anymore" comments, a lot of people suggest that an affair may be taking place. Do most believe that is true? Will someone just walk away from a marriage with no real issues, aside from those, unless there is someone else making them feel special? I know you can't answer for everyone, but is that typical?
 

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Re: Do women "walk away" without someone else?
Well, you're talking to one! I left my STBXH of 19yrs (together 22yrs) and it wasn't for someone else!

He'd like to think it was...it's easier for him to believe I'm a cheater than that he's selfish. Easier to believe I'm unfaithful than that he's unloveable. But, unfortunately for him, it's not true. I'd RATHER BE ALONE than live another year, month, week, hour, minute with his selfish azz!!

Haven't dated ANYONE in 22years! Have been out to dinner with co-workers and old friends (both male and female) from college and former jobs, but haven't met anyone special yet. Still, I am SO MUCH HAPPIER being around family and friends who care about me, who want to do things I WANT TO DO with me, who are interested in me, who let ME BE 'FIRST' sometimes! It's refreshing, and fun, and peaceful and joyous....all the things my life hasn't been in years.
 

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I don't know what the definition of a walk away wife is, not a term I ever hear in Aussie.

But if it helps I was the initiator in ending the marriage (together 17 years) and no I did not have anyone else.
I lived in a sexless marriage and am a HD woman. I never had an affair, I was very loyal to my marriage and my family.

It was 12 months after separation before I started dating and went to town. Oh what fun it was :)

None of the women I know that have been divorced or separated left for another man. I think people jump to this conclusion due to their own past issues.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I'm speaking about a marriage where there are no major issues, like cheating or abuse, and the husband is basically a good man, but perhaps he just doesn't fulfill her love language. Perhaps she feels he is boring, and they have been together for several years and have children.
 
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I'm speaking about a marriage where there are no major issues, like cheating or abuse, and the husband is basically a good man, but perhaps he just doesn't fulfill her love language. Perhaps she feels he is boring, and they have been together for several years and have children.
Which basically describes my marriage. No other man involved for me. I fully believe in ending one properly before starting the next.
 

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I know at least two women who have left their husbands and marriage and not for another man.
They live on heir own.
But what I've noticed with both of them is that they are very career oriented alpha type females.
They are professionals in their career fields.
 

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I have yet to see one that has left for reasons other than another man. I KNOW it is possible, as evidenced in this thread, and in NO WAY do i doubt your stories or problems in your marriages. My personal experience (my wife, my sister, my mother, friends, etc) tell me that MOST of the time, there is a guy waiting in the wings. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule.

EDIT: I do not mean to sound like the other man is the reason they left. The reason they left is they are unhappy with the marriage, the other man was there giving them something we weren't. It does not make it right that they cheat or leave and immediately start seeing someone else though.
 

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I've noticed that when people say their partner starts giving the "love you but not in-love" speech and "I'm not happy anymore" comments, a lot of people suggest that an affair may be taking place. Do most believe that is true? Will someone just walk away from a marriage with no real issues, aside from those, unless there is someone else making them feel special? I know you can't answer for everyone, but is that typical?
I walked away.There was no one else.I was fed up,sick of struggling,and he refused to continue MC because he didn't like what he was hearing about himself there.

It's totally possible for a woman to walk away after years of trying to make things work with an uncooperative,emotionally absent husband without having someone else waiting.When a woman is fed up,she's finished and out the door.
 

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I know women that have left and there was not another man. As a matter fact of two of them didn't even date for a long time after the divorce. There wasn't abuse or cheating but they did have their problems, so maybe I'm not answering your questions.

I think for someone to walk away from years of marriage and kids there has to be some sort of "problems" unless they are just selfish.
 

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There was no other man for my wife. She just checked out.

I think by DEFINITION, a walkaway doesn't actually leave the marriage. That's why this phenomena never really caught on. The "walkaway" part makes it sound like she physically left. A "walkaway", by definition, physically stays in the marriage, but leaves emotionally. If a woman leaves for another man, it's something else.

No?
 

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Human nature dictates that you aren't going to get many female responses acknowledging that is what happened in their case.

Here is what I'm comfortable telling you in my personal experience, those whose circumstances I am familiar with, and on these boards.

MOST people, regardless of gender who say the words, "I love you but I'm non in love with you." and/or, "I'm not happy." combined with substantial changes in their behavior, losing weight, new wardrobe, change in demeanor or personality, away from the home more, etc. ...

are emotionally invested in someone other than their partner.

So the unfortunate part is, even when someone doesn't dump their spouse for someone else, people will presume that an affair was the case.

In the case of a Walkaway Wife, as others have pointed out, this is usually mid-life, after years of marriage in which the woman has simply withdrawn emotionally. At the time she says she is leaving ... although news to her partner, she has likely had that mind-set for a long period of time. It most certainly isn't a matter of her waking up one day and deciding to pull the plug.

Self-identity seems to play a very significant role, as evidenced by the input from the ladies here.

Women in general are far more likely to initiate divorce than men are.
Women Initiate Divorce 66% of The Time: Why Do They Want To Get Married? | Love + Sex - Yahoo! Shine

There are other statistics out there that indicate that in college educated couples, women initiate divorce 90% of the time.

Kind of begs the question, doesn't it?
 

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I walked away, and not for anyone else. I couldn't be the invisible wife anymore. I checked out mentally log before I left. But he knew, I begged and begged for him to go with me to counseling, and he kept telling me it was all in my head. He understood though after I asked him for a divorce.
 

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Human nature dictates that you aren't going to get many female responses acknowledging that is what happened in their case.
:iagree:

I think the responses here are honest.However women who have walked away for another man simply are not posting. If you look at TAM as a whole with all its threads and posts, it supports my thinking.
 

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My friend walked away without anyone else. Well, she has 4 children, so she took them. Struggled...but now, the divorce is FINAL and she has a JOB and a new house! :D

Her ex is an abusive man...he moved in with a woman RIGHT after my friend left. Gross. But she's doing great and had NO other man when she decided ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH!
 

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Well, you're talking to one! I left my STBXH of 19yrs (together 22yrs) and it wasn't for someone else!

He'd like to think it was...it's easier for him to believe I'm a cheater than that he's selfish. Easier to believe I'm unfaithful than that he's unloveable. But, unfortunately for him, it's not true. I'd RATHER BE ALONE than live another year, month, week, hour, minute with his selfish azz!!

Haven't dated ANYONE in 22years! Have been out to dinner with co-workers and old friends (both male and female) from college and former jobs, but haven't met anyone special yet. Still, I am SO MUCH HAPPIER being around family and friends who care about me, who want to do things I WANT TO DO with me, who are interested in me, who let ME BE 'FIRST' sometimes! It's refreshing, and fun, and peaceful and joyous....all the things my life hasn't been in years
.

You are a person I respect. You handled it the correct, moral way. Speaking for myself, if my wife had handled it this way, I could live with it and still have respect for her. But she cheated. Now she wants to come back because she says now that things were good and she made a terrible mistake.

Kudos to you
 
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