It has helped me to know that other people are going through the same things. I am in the thick of this now. I am also being divorced by the love of my life. Post and vent on here and get support. It is hard to believe right now but someday we will be better.
I quit a several bottle a week wine habit, mixed with anything else on hand, and just about every weekend involving a hang-over.
I can say that for me, when I reflect on things: alcohol and intoxification led me to all the bad things that ended up in my separation. All my erratic behaivours always were accompanied by drink or other, every time so it seems that I found what "my problem" was!
Staying away from Alcohol allowed me to know myself sober and free of distraction, which led to my ability to heal myself of the difficult emotional states that afflicted me after separation.
Do things get better? Yes they do. They did for me espescially because I dropped the drinking habits and gained my health and respect for myself as a result.
Yes it gets better but you have to go through the pain first.
I remember at the start chatting to people that were well past their divorces and they would say "yes it gets better" but I struggled to believe it. It was OK for them to sit there all happy with their new lives, with or without new partners.
But it does get better, you just need to know that in the back of your mind.
There is a process to go through, grieving, anger, denial etc but then there is self improvement, freedom, excitement about the future....
The pain I felt at the start was primal, it actually hurt. I initiated the separation but that does not lessen the pain.
I read books, started to exercise, did a huge amount of self discovery and finally took responsibility for my own actions.
One day you will wake up, the sun will be shining and you will realise that you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Don't waste this opportunity to find the best possible life you can have.
Not really. But as humans with sympathy for ourselves, we get better at dealing with life. Sorry to be honest, but that's really the way it is. Then when we get really really good, and it almost seems like life has finally given us what we want, we are very very old and dying in our sleep peacefully in the midst of our dream life which has become our waking life...this is equivalent to things getting better.