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Hi All,

Would like to hear your views: Do people reveal their true selves in an affair and how confident are they when they leave the marriage?

:scratchhead:
 

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People make mistakes and make dumb choices. Anything beyond that would just be generalization in my opinion.
 

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No....think back to the dating phase....did you show your bad traits or put your best foot forward? An affair is the same thing. They are woeing someone.
 

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Generally, I would greatly feel that it would largely depend upon how long it was that they've actually known their affair partner.

Having said that, if it is someone that they have known for a very long time, i. e. say either a high school or a college flame that they've known from years past, probably reconnected after a long time on some social media site such as FB, and then were either intimate or semi-intimate with them way back at that particular point in time, or only exhibited a small degree of sexual/emotional attraction for each other, then I would greatly feel that there would be a far less degree of artificiality other than for them fastly catching up and getting emotionally and physically reacquainted/reconnected with each other.

But for someone that has just recently picqued their romantic interest, such as a new co-worker, classmate, et. al., however, I feel that they would be moreso like a "new dating couple," where they may be forced to some degree to be somewhat artificial in order to try to impress their new love interest to either open themselves up to them emotionally, and/or to turn back the sheets on their bed to fastly consummate their new relationship and their newfound physical lust for each other!
 

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Hi All,

Would like to hear your views: Do people reveal their true selves in an affair and how confident are they when they leave the marriage?

:scratchhead:
Course they don't. They're in their best behaviour. No farting or picking the nose. That's why when most As become 'reality' they don't last the distance!
My Hs 10 month EA/PA only lasted 3 weeks in the 'real world'. She didn't turn out to be miss wonderful after-all!!
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Yes...sort of.

They show their AP their very best and loving qualities while they show their BS their worst sides. So yes, you see the full picture but you have to use 4 eyes to do it.
 

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Hi All,

Would like to hear your views: Do people reveal their true selves in an affair and how confident are they when they leave the marriage?

:scratchhead:
I'm not a betrayed or wayward spouse. This is my observations from the affairs I've seen amongst people I know. The wayward spouses reveal a core selfishness that their spouse and family may not have been aware of, so in a sense they are revealing their true characters. It's easier for the wayward to indulge in the free admiration and attention someone else tosses their way rather than do the hard work of improving their marriage. They know the infidelity will hurt their spouse, but at that moment, their family/the spouse's feelings don't take priority. That's selfishness and it has to be part of who they are for them to have done it.
 
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