I found it was almost impossible for me to understand the inner workings of my passive aggressive wife. Don’t get me wrong, she had many fabulous qualities and she brought a lot of joy and happiness into my life. But she also on occasion deeply wounded me with her passive aggression and the last time was one time too many. And it was never going to happen again, boundaries didn’t work with her and the only way to ensure it was to turn my loving actions off, to withdraw my love from her and separate.I've often wondered this myself. I think most passive/aggressives think of themselves as victims. Once someone becomes aware of their behavior and perspective they can change it. I think their initial reaction to a given situation will always be "I'm a victim" because it's what they learned as children. If they retrain themselves to identify their behavior they can manage to overcome their instincts to the external world.
By raising one's self-esteem and learning to be more assertive. This can either be done in counseling or studying some good self-help material. The following link contains some good information:-@alphaomega and cosmos:
Can you give some details about how the healing took place?
Hmm... PA is like "punishing" someone behind their back - covertly, and many times they're not even aware of it. It's often an issue of control/acting out resentment.What exactly is passive aggressive behavior? Give me some examples...