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Discussion Starter #1
Without wanting to hijack a thread, I decided to create a new one, quoting one of the HIGHLY respected (for me personally) posters here on TAM, who, just like many other members, has similar ideas to this one (when referring to the OM):

You know what he wants from you. He sees an opportunity here so he is pouring on the attention hoping you'll let him have sex with you.
Now, as you can see from these sentences and other ones similar, like "He's only hoping/looking for sex"....it feels like sex is difficult to get, when (nowadays) it's actually NOT.
Sex is not a taboo or something you can't have.
And as a result, (to me) it's not something to hope for or look for. It's not something to crave and wish for or something you eagerly wait. [Generally speaking]

I can say for example, I hope to meet a guy I can fall in love with or I hope and can't wait to go visit the USA....

..but hoping to/looking for to have sex or ruin a marriage as if there aren't other people around???
To me this doesn't makes sense.

As much as i agree with the quote above, (because OMs are usually up for sex) on the other hand I wonder why they bother so much with married women.

If they're up for sex why can't they have ONS?
Why can't they pay a prostitute? [if they can afford it?]
Is it so difficult for them to get laid with girls they meet at a party? [They can find plenty of easy girls there]
Why bother seducing a married woman when he can find easier and better ways to bang a woman?

Or, let's say the OM is married and he likes having affairs for the thrill of getting caught...
isn't it easier for him to try it with a single girl?
Why go through so much trouble??


And I'll never understand SINGLE OMs who go for married women. Oh well...it could be the idea of having what's already taken? Does he feel like a real man being able to make a married woman get laid so that he can show off to his friends??
Either way I don't think it's worth the effort.

************************************************

Hence, this makes me think that OMs might not always go after a married woman just for sex. I mean, everybody can have sex..so where's the big deal?
There must be something more. What is it? It can't be just sex..
Who would one like to ruin a marriage or two just for the thrill of getting caught and the excitement that this brings?

There must be some attraction [beyond the physical one] that makes OM go after a married women.

When a WW comes here and confesses to having cheated on her H, the first things she's gets told is "You know he only wants sex". And I'm like "wait a second, it couldn't be just that.."

Or am I being just naive?

p.s. In no way do I support affairs or third people in a relationship/marriage but sometimes it sounds unfair to say that the only thing OM wants from a married woman is sex.
 

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Sex with zero commitment. There is zero chance of having to support her, of her wanting to move in with him, and zero chance of having to raise a child fathered by her. I think that is a big part of the draw. It is also a way to have several sex partners going at the same time without worrying too much about being discovered by one of the women, because the situation is already one of cheating.

I also think that maybe a married woman who is making herself somewhat available is an easy target. She is apparently looking for a hookup, so he figures his odds are good. In contrast, a single woman may be on the prowl but she is likely to be much more discriminating, which reduces any one man's chances with her.

Some men like the idea of winning another man's woman. There is probably some evolutionary thing going on where he can father a child yet have another many have to expend resources to raise that child. Cuckolding.
 

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Well,my wife had an EA with ex hs bf,even met him a few times.
He got a kick out of breaking up families,then move into the house and live the good life for awhile.Get everything he could,sex,stuff,money and a place to stay for awhile.
I caught it fairly early.
Now I dont think he'll try this crap on another family again,he paid a high price for trying. ):)
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I don't know if you really want answers or what, but here goes...

1. There's lots of married women out there that don't need to be seduced, no matter what they say when they're caught. There out there looking for sex just like the guys.

2. Married people like having affairs with other married people because its "safer". A married partner would be more likely to understand the time constraints, discretion, and relationship limitations. A single partner is likely to want "more" sooner or later, and has less to lose with regards to exposure.

3. Many people (married or single) like to have some kind of connection with their sex partners. You don't get that with ONS's or prostitutes. Plus by getting to know your partner, you don't need to worry as much about STD's. Or at least you can know what you're getting into.

C
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Sex with zero commitment. There is zero chance of having to support her, of her wanting to move in with him, and zero chance of having to raise a child fathered by her.
This goes for every affair. Not just for the OM.
What you say is true, but the OM can have the very same benefits with ONS, prostitutes, friends with benefits, random girls...

Why he chooses a married woman then?



It is also a way to have several sex partners going at the same time without worrying too much about being discovered by one of the women, because the situation is already one of cheating.
He can date several girls at a time and bang all of them.

Why he chooses a married woman, instead?

I also think that maybe a married woman who is making herself somewhat available is an easy target.
Easy targets are also the category of girls I mentioned above.

Why he chooses a married woman then?

a single woman may be on the prowl but she is likely to be much more discriminating, which reduces any one man's chances with her.
How is a single woman more discriminated than a married woman who becomes a wh*re?

Some men like the idea of winning another man's woman. There is probably some evolutionary thing going on where he can father a child yet have another many have to expend resources to raise that child. Cuckolding.
Again, he can take his friend's GF if he wants to have another man's woman.

Why choose a married woman?
 

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Sex with zero commitment PLUS once you get it going its going to be reliable sex without the need to warm her up beforehand. She's going to be arriving for hookups ready for sex. If you go on a date you'll be spending money, with the hope of sex if it all works out.

With the married affair partner, when you meet up its going to be for sex, for sure. It's also going to be uninhibited wild sex because she's going to not only have gotten warmed up preparing for the hookup, but she's going to be putting in effort.

She's also not going to slow you down going out and hanging with friends, because other than hookup times, she's going to be busy with her family.

It's despicable, but I can see what the OM gets out of it.

Now, the flip side. Could the OM be in it for something other than sex? There is the flattery and attention he will be getting from her. Not to mention, that he will be getting a huge amount of sexual affirmation about how much he works her up and satisfies her.

He clearly isn't there for other things since she will be unable to render services that go along with real relationships, like going on walks, travelling, etc.
 

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In the past I've done a few married women, it was just sex and hell if it wasn't going to be me it's going to be someone else anyway.

Do I want their baggage? No, never, it's just sex, win/win situation, I get sex, she gets sex, we enjoy and move on. And no I wouldn't even think of anything more than sex with a woman who cheats on her husband even with me.
 

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Prostitutes cost money and aren't of highest quality or cleanliness either. So not a good option.

Single girls for the most part will take more wooing and want more long term.

Then there are the very easy, very friendly crazy chicks who are about as good in bed as a person can be. Those any sane man learns to avoid because they carry much to high a cost on your life when the crazy side emerges. They can end up stealing your stuff and money, the can end up banging your buddies and ruining friendships, or they can be bringing along some nut job guy who's gonna come after you for being with her. .... Do not ever go with the crazy chicks!!!!

Btw, I think the similar advice to girls is never ever go with the drummer or the bass player.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I don't know if you really want answers or what, but here goes...

1. There's lots of married women out there that don't need to be seduced, no matter what they say when they're caught. There out there looking for sex just like the guys.
This is about WS's intentions.
I'm asking about OM's intentions for banging a married woman which differ from a married woman's intentions to bang the OM.

2. Married people like having affairs with other married people because its "safer". A married partner would be more likely to understand the time constraints, discretion, and relationship limitations. A single partner is likely to want "more" sooner or later, and has less to lose with regards to exposure.
Good answer!
It explains why OM chooses a married woman.

3. Many people (married or single) like to have some kind of connection with their sex partners. You don't get that with ONS's or prostitutes. Plus by getting to know your partner, you don't need to worry as much about STD's. Or at least you can know what you're getting into.
Again, I like this answer. Now I'm realizing why.
 

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This goes for every affair. Not just for the OM.
What you say is true, but the OM can have the very same benefits with ONS, prostitutes, friends with benefits, random girls...

Why he chooses a married woman then?
Well you've got me stumped! I've been out of the dating pool for 30+ years, and back then sex was a lot less available than now! Single women were generally looking for a guy to date rather than an easy ONS. Seducers might get a ONS, but much more common was getting sex in a week or two and then dumping her. Maybe ONS are so easy today that there is no difference between a single woman and a married woman on the prowl.

One example I know of is my wifes ex-bf from high school who is a professional musician. He has been known since his early 20's as targeting married women, including my wife last year btw. He has slept with many many married women in addition to some single women. Some pursued him and he pursued others. He definitely prefers the married women. With him I think it is the no risk of commitment angle and the ease of dumping her without worrying about her making a big scene.

One thing I did notice was that this ex-bf I refer to as Ass Clown got a lot of admiration from other guys and from other women! Strange. At least back in the single years other men seemed to think he was some kind of extra successful man because he slept with many married women. His exploits with married women were more admirable than his exploits with single women.

I bet those friends of his thought differently when they got married and their wives became potential targets of his.

And the women who were part of the extended social group were enamored with his exploits, too. Women are attracted to men who have other women, but it was a step up that he was bedding married women. Perhaps it was the bad-boy aspect.

So maybe all of this positive feedback from his friends when he was in his 20's encouraged him and made him feel manlier.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Not to mention, that he will be getting a huge amount of sexual affirmation about how much he works her up and satisfies her.
.
Can't he get the very same affirmation from other unmarried girls?

Or maybe a married woman is more likely to give such affirmation given by how much unsatisfied she is by her husband?
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Btw, I think the similar advice to girls is never ever go with the drummer or the bass player.
Do you literally mean it? lol

Why is that?
 

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Sex was all the OM wanted in my wife's case. He bailed very quickly when she was officially available. I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted some cash that she had access to as well.
 

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lg, you have alot for me to read so I will answer the title to your thread.

Yes!

Cuz its easy if you have the script, they invest some amount of time but the passion that is unleashed is way better then the single ckick that gets it when ever she has an itch.

OM has a crapping marriage(lie), wants the WW to work it out with her husband (lie), WW can relate and now has a new friend. OM want his mirrage to work but fights the uncontroling urgh for WW (lie), WW digs attention, they take the risk and meet, more fuel and excitement that hasn't been felt in years for WW, meet in hotel room and WW feels like sh!t, pays her dues for the "friendship" with more sex................

Sex with single chicks is no were near as exciting or challenging. They get it when ever they want. A snap of a fingure if you will.

**************disclaimer*******************

Out of the 20 men my fWW slept with....only a few turned her down cuz she was married, so what its worth the twenty something crowd has some morals.

sex is the currency for the affair!!!!!
 

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The simple answer is that a married woman is the all-around safest bet to have clean NSA sex. She's committed and invested already, likely hasn't had many sexual partners for years (safest bet on the STD front), and if her husband is not rocking her world at home then it makes her an easier target because she's not satisfied at home and thus more susceptible to respond to stimulation that comes with sexual attention.
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Prostitutes cost money and aren't of highest quality or cleanliness either. So not a good option.

Single girls for the most part will take more wooing and want more long term.

Then there are the very easy, very friendly crazy chicks who are about as good in bed as a person can be. Those any sane man learns to avoid because they carry much to high a cost on your life when the crazy side emerges. They can end up stealing your stuff and money, the can end up banging your buddies and ruining friendships, or they can be bringing along some nut job guy who's gonna come after you for being with her. .... Do not ever go with the crazy chicks!!!!

Btw, I think the similar advice to girls is never ever go with the drummer or the bass player.
Ya there sl^ts and then there crazy sl^t (chicks).

I wish I was back in the olden days when a chick had to wear a scarlet letter.....it would have been so much easier picking out a wife.
 

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The simple answer is that a married woman is the all-around safest bet to have clean NSA sex. She's committed and invested already, likely hasn't had many sexual partners for years (safest bet on the STD front), and if her husband is not rocking her world at home then it makes her an easier target because she's not satisfied at home and thus more susceptible to respond to stimulation that comes with sexual attention.
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Same goes for ughly tweeker guys. They ain't getting much action!

Except for the tweeker GF that wants to kill WW
 
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