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I'm just curious about this. I know every situation is different, but anyone have some statistics? If not, how about what you have observed here?
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I read some stat from my stat class. (long story behind it) and I have feeling it wasn't a good stat, but:

When the husband cheats, and the couple actually tries to rebuild the marriage (and NOT do what my dad did, the jerk...)
I think 90% of the marriages reconcile.

When the wife cheats and the couple actually tries to rebuild the marraige,
I think 10% of the mairrages reconcile.

Now, whether that was a good statistic or not, who know's. What about the site? I have only read a few threads, but how many times when the wife cheats does the couple reconcile. Because I've seen the reconcile thread of 3 guys, then it looks like there are another 3 threads with guys that have cheating wives, and it is going to fail.
Disenchanted, Am I Dreaming, and Skater Dad.
With Calvin, and Dig reconciling.

What about older threads?
 

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When the wife cheats.

While infidelity is of course completely wrong regardless of its circumstances, men usually only do it for the physical attraction and will quickly drop the OW like a bad habit to save their marriage. Many women will be having an emotional connection with their OM and has trouble breaking it off and going NC, frequently due to being in love/infatuated. The BH often feels too betrayed after that and divorces.
 

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or men infidelity is about sex, he cheat for sex not emotional needs in 99% of A, they dont dwell in the fantasy land as they are less invested and they know what they have to do when they are caught, to throw the OW under the bus and do everything to salvage his marriage. In most cases the contact/love of OW itself is disgusting to him but he continue in A as he get some free sex, so basically men are less interested in being with OW.

But women are really opposite of this they are more emotional than sexual, they always dwell n the lala land where she is the queen and OM in the shing knight, when they are caught many canot face the reality and treat husband like an enemy who is trying to seperate her from her soulmate. Its resul in continuing the A underground or disrespecting husband and asks for space or seperation as they are not ready to quit the A. They will continue the A.

At the last men will find their balls back and realises what a fool he was for trying to bring her into marriage and Kick her out of his life and D.

In many cases women talk bad about their H and insult and humiliate him to their AP, which is rare when H cheats.

When a women is caught she will not own it immediately and try to manipulate bad mouth and says thing which will usually put a scar on his heart for ever. Like he was the biggest, he was better in bed,

In most cases when wife cheat she will allow OM to anything which she wont agree with H, which H may be asking for a long time in bed.

So in most cases where wife cheat it ends the marriage when H cheat it usually ends up in R as he will readily throw OW under the bus and do everything to salvage his marriage.
 

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I agree with Cristo.

While majority of male posters here have D on cheating wives, there are stunning stories of Beowulf, AlmostRecovered. By statstics, the percentage would be not significant.

I undestand that the decision to stay depends heavily on - kids, finances, emotional attachment prior to A, culture, length of marriage etc
 

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Mattmatt's story is both painful and inspirational.

However, I think in the Western culture there are more cultural consequences for the husband if the wife cheats than for the wife if the husband cheats.

Not to belittle the immense pain and heartbreak that a wife must go through with a cheating husband and, of course, every case is different.
 

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Mattmatt's story is both painful and inspirational.

However, I think in the Western culture there are more cultural consequences for the husband if the wife cheats than for the wife if the husband cheats.

Not to belittle the immense pain and heartbreak that a wife must go through with a cheating husband and, of course, every case is different.
:confused:

Excuse me? Western culture is the LEAST patriarchal culture of the major ones of the world. Not that I disagree with the assertion that men are more likely to divorce in Western culture, but are we seriously comparing that to the 'forgiving' nature of Islamic or Sino/Japanese culture?

In the first case, they kill adulterous spouses. In the second...well, forgiving hasn't been the watchword I'd use...
 

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My opinion only
When a man cheats it is beacuse he is a pig, it's in his nature and he's an a**hole.
When a woman cheats it is beacuse the man wasn't giving her what she needs.
Either way the man is still at fault, as the head of the house everything that goes on is his ultimate responsibility.
Once again my opinion, just how I feel in my situation.
 

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My opinion only
When a man cheats it is beacuse he is a pig, it's in his nature and he's an a**hole.
When a woman cheats it is beacuse the man wasn't giving her what she needs.
Either way the man is still at fault, as the head of the house everything that goes on is his ultimate responsibility.
Once again my opinion, just how I feel in my situation.
I'm not sure if you are making a comment on attitudes in society, or you believe this?
 

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:confused:

Excuse me? Western culture is the LEAST patriarchal culture of the major ones of the world. Not that I disagree with the assertion that men are more likely to divorce in Western culture, but are we seriously comparing that to the 'forgiving' nature of Islamic or Sino/Japanese culture?

In the first case, they kill adulterous spouses. In the second...well, forgiving hasn't been the watchword I'd use...
I wasn't meaning that other cultures are less or more forgiving, just that they are different.
 

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My opinion only
When a man cheats it is beacuse he is a pig, it's in his nature and he's an a**hole.
When a woman cheats it is beacuse the man wasn't giving her what she needs.
Either way the man is still at fault, as the head of the house everything that goes on is his ultimate responsibility.
Once again my opinion, just how I feel in my situation.
So now it's the man's fault that his cake eating entitled wife who has been given everything decides to cheat?

Thanks for informing me. I feel so much better now.
 

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I'm just curious about this. I know every situation is different, but anyone have some statistics? If not, how about what you have observed here?
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The preponderance of studies and anecdotal evidence indicates that the marriage is far more likely to end when the wife cheats.

Mainly because when a wife cheats she is looking to upgrade to a better spoue either wealthier or more romantic or whatever.

When a man cheats, he usually just wants to cake eat.
 

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I'm not sure if you are making a comment on attitudes in society, or you believe this?
Just how I was raised I guess but I do think society sees a woman cheating on her spouse as he didn't do something for her, the first place they think is in the bedroom then he was mean or cruel to her.
A man cheats because its in his nature (no I don't subscribe to this theory) or he is an ass.

I do feel somewhat responsible for all that happened even though I look at all of it and know I was a good husband, took care of her in the bedroom and in our marriage. Was there some apathy sure after 20 some years it sets in to every relationship, but now when she looks back she does see everything I do and did and not just acts of service, but the way I always cared for her.
So It was all her fault but as the man, the head of the house, the ceo if you will her failure just like those of my children reflect directly upon me and the job I do.
Like a football coach if we lose I am the last man in line, the person that has to fix this and try to make it work even if I didn't fumble the ball.
Once again my opinion everyone is different
 

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There is no shortage of men who would ignore any of their responsibility in the ending of their marriage.

However, there is such a thing as going too far the other way...
 

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My opinion only
When a man cheats it is beacuse he is a pig, it's in his nature and he's an a**hole.
When a woman cheats it is beacuse the man wasn't giving her what she needs.
Either way the man is still at fault, as the head of the house everything that goes on is his ultimate responsibility.
Once again my opinion, just how I feel in my situation.
I do agree with you, SOK, that there does seem to be a double standard to infidelity.

Men have excuses

Women have reasons
 

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Look at the number of threads in this forum that have the wife cheating compared to the ones that have the husbands cheating. The difference is overwhelming.
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Just how I was raised I guess but I do think society sees a woman cheating on her spouse as he didn't do something for her, the first place they think is in the bedroom then he was mean or cruel to her.
A man cheats because its in his nature (no I don't subscribe to this theory) or he is an ass.

I do feel somewhat responsible for all that happened even though I look at all of it and know I was a good husband, took care of her in the bedroom and in our marriage. Was there some apathy sure after 20 some years it sets in to every relationship, but now when she looks back she does see everything I do and did and not just acts of service, but the way I always cared for her.
So It was all her fault but as the man, the head of the house, the ceo if you will her failure just like those of my children reflect directly upon me and the job I do.
Like a football coach if we lose I am the last man in line, the person that has to fix this and try to make it work even if I didn't fumble the ball.
Once again my opinion everyone is different

Have you ever asked yourself why you embrace such an obvious double-standard?
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