"Her door is always going to be open"??? Apparently, you door is always open to him as well. And this, I don't understand! Your POS husband has forsaken you AND your children. You said that you have been with him for 25 years. How many children do you two have and how old are your they? Have you had an STD test recently? Have you spoken to a lawyer? Do you have any self-esteem left in you?What worries me is that no matter what he eventually tells me about never going there again, is that each time he returns I know he genuinely thinks this is it, it's great, then a couple of months later he will become bored and as I said her door is always going to be open. The only promising thing so far is that he knows he has issues and gets that his fantasy world is just that, I wouldn't let him move back in for months if I felt there was some hope for us anyway but I'm not sure what I want anymore, my head and heart are pulling in different directions. I'm doing fine this time though, no break downs like the 1st and 2and time, I dont need him but I do still love him.
Your POS husband has decided to abandon you and your children for other women and you still make excuses for him? His problems are no longer your problems. You have already waisted enough time and energy on him and your marriage. HE MURDERED YOUR MARRIAGE!!!!! And you are still hovering over the corpse, hoping for a resurrection that is never going to happen.
You need to immediately employ "The 180", as well as talk to a lawyer and get the wheels rolling to protect yourself. If he wants to talk to somebody, he can talk to his skanky *****, or a mental health expert. You need to address your situation. You are going to need IC as well, since you seem to be stuck in a world of thinking that your POS husband can somehow be redeemed.
I'm sorry that you are here with this problem, but this is now the time for you to accept that there is no going back and to begin the process of moving on with your life. There are good, honest and loving men out there that will ADORE YOU and put you on a pedestal. You just have shake this rat from your neck first!