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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there

Bit of back ground info about us.
Together for 6 years Married for 4

When I met my husband he was a single parent with his 12 year old son he'd had him for 7 years alone. The son's mother ran off with hubbys brother and she now has 5 kids with him.....

I was 20 and my husband was 31 at the time so yes I was very young. Initially I got along well with his son and make the weffort no problems...his son was VERY clingy and constatntly lying over me lying on my chest etc which made me feel a bit uncomfortable...

Anyway six months later his mum came back onto the scene..he wanted to go and live with her so he left us for two years. He went to his mums and didnt even care about his dad he didn't even look back.

Two years later WE then were married in the Septemeber 2008 very happy no problems.

In novemember 2008 two months after getting married we had a phone call asking if we could have his son come back and live with us, hubby took him in he was then aged 14.

He came back to us smoking, doing drugs and with bad manners, he apparently has ADHD I think he has something else.

Anyway hubby became very depressed for 18 months when his son returned we argued a lot and ~I in turn coudlnt cope very well I started having anxiety attacks and became very low. I did all the cooking, cleaning washing for his son and worked full time. I had no support at all. Suddenyl I was sprung upon with this kid I hadn't known very long and the father was taking a major depression nose dive....

Stepson saw us argue alot and heard his dad tellin me outright that his son comes first and if I dont like it I know where the door is.:(

Anyway his son was arrested once accused of sexual absuing a 4 year old girl...no evidence, then again for sexual assaulting a vulnerable adult (a male) they ransacked our home looking for evidence. The school once phoned us up to tell us he was masturbating on the school minibus in front of other students!

He has has sex with girls under age he is now 18 and because he is never prosecuted he carries on... hubby of course beleives he has done nothing wrong and supports him.:confused:
He stole my husband motorbike and denied it, he used my computer without asking watching porn on... the porn videos entitled 'my stepmother gives good head' :eek: WTF! he denied it... there was noone else it could have been

My husband doesnt even know how to switch the computer on... but if hubby could work a computer that could of casued a problem with me and hubby cos I may have accused him!

He never admits to anythin he does....
He is incapable of saying sorry

When he was arrested for the sexual offences and when he returned from the police station he was cool calm and collected :eek:

Hi recent girlfiriend has left him as he used to knock her about...he has gotten at least two girls pregnant..

He has come and gone into our household a few times but has now returned two days ago for maybe the siixth time...now only returning when noone would house him, he trashed a council flat he had given to him, social won't house him beacuse of his sexual offence accusations his mum or family won't house him and now after 12 months he is in our house again...hubby says what else can he do chuck him on the streets.

He is now 18 he doesnt work or have any ineterest apart form claimimg DLA for his ADHD and getting drunk
He is a compulsive liar and cheater.

I asked hubby what was goign to happen as I can't afford to keep him I pay all the bills and hubby has a part time job so I pay for most stuff...

His son is very vindictive and I struggle to get along with him I do for hubby...the odd visit is fine but I don't think I can cope with him living here again, he pops in and out of our life bringing with him debts and problems and it ruins me and my hubby :(

Im not a selfish person and I have no problem with being a stepmum yes I know I took on his kid when I married him but he isn't no normal teenager.Hubby lets him get away with it all. We argued last night and we aren't talking now he said Im constantly moaning about his son which maybe I am :confused: Im so scared everythign will be stressful he's been back 2 days and I dont know what to do. Alone me and hubby are so so happy we are due to start IVF next month for me to have a baby but maybe I should cancel it.

Hubbys answer will be if you're not happy then leave...
Not try to talk it through or listen to my point of view.

teh thing is his son doesnt really care about him, he tells lies about him and doesnt bother with him, he's 18 now not a baby.

I think deep down in ther hubby doesn't want him with us either but yet again he is cornered :( he can't chuck him out can he? his son has burnt all bridges for other possibilities of where he can live.

I love my hubby so much but I can see this blowing up as it did before and weeks and weeks of silent treatment from hubby he reacts this way towards ME each time his son returns.

His ex partner the mother is no use at all..

Im a good person I know I am but I am starting to be made to felt like I am the one with the problem. Maybe it is me...

Maybe I shoudl just leave :(:(:( Im 26 I want a family and as we have infertiltiy problems we may have to adopt one day.... I have been told by a social worker I woudl have problems adopting because of stepsons sexual accusations on file.... :(

I could cope with this if hubby didn't bury his head in the sand he almost gives in and gives up....
Like he wants me to leave

Me and hubby are happy alone but I understand he has a responsibility for this boy...give me a hundred teenage stepkids in exchange for his stepson...
I work with 14-16 year olds but his son gives me the creeps :( he's a very sexual person he seemed very nice towards me when me and his dad used to argue saying he loved me (as a stepmum) and he woudl take care of me...


Its all so messy :confused:
 
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