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Whenever I read or hear stories about people who say they'd marry their spouse all over again, I often wonder if they're telling the truth, or saying what they know they're supposed to say?

And it's always a surprise when I hear about people who've gotten divorced but end up having sex somehow.

Those experiences are so foreign to me.

With the exception of my children's lives, I regret my marriage - not my divorce.
OK, I know this is going off topic, but I just wanted to respond to this. When I say something like the bolded it is the truth. I will admit that I don't feel that way all of the time, probably about 90% or so of the time.
 

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Zero regrets divorcing my first wife (she had an affair). Lots and lots of regrets on pending 2nd divorce. No unfaithfulness, just poor planning and waited too late to work on marriage.
 

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For those of you who've gone through more than one divorce, are the problems that end the marriages similar?
Completely different in my case. First wife had no morals and stepped out of the marriage. Second wife, we both had kids and were blending, which is without question one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. She's a good woman and we plan to remain friends, marriage just didn't work.
 

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For those of you who've gone through more than one divorce, are the problems that end the marriages similar?
No. First one we were both 20 and didn't know what marriage entailed, it didn't last a year. I also moved to a non-English speaking country and didn't fit in the culture, so I was happy to go back home.

Second time around, divorced at 40 after 12.5 years. He claimed he had erectile dysfunction for most of our marriage, but "for better or worse", right? Then he cheated with a 19 yo, and lived a double life for 18 months or so (that I know of). The LAST thing I wanted was to divorce, but there was no future with a deceitful, unfaithful, financially irresponsible, whoring drunk. Thankfully, I came to my senses within a few weeks of finding out about the affair, and didn't waste any more of my life on him.
 

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My husband of 25 years walked out almost 4 years ago. Neither of us had moved on with anyone else, until just recently when he began a new relationship. I had always thought our 'paths' would cross again. We are the parents of two grown daughters and usually enjoy each other's company.. but.. I never understood why or even how he walked out. I do regret the grief and the loss. I feel it could have been avoided. And now, I'm feeling some pain over his choice to be involved with someone new. I am finding myself back at the counselors office.. I know one day I will reach 'no regrets' - it's in my thoughts daily..
 

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Currently separated - I regret that I didn't start this process years ago....like 10 years ago. By now, I would be moved on and maybe even to a better life, only looking back to see how far I had come.
Maybe this will make you feel a little better 鈥 I regret not starting the process three times longer than you do. Yes, I stayed in a dysfunctional marriage, with a cheater, that long. The red flags were there from the beginning but I convinced myself I was wrong. I wasn鈥檛. We were very young when we got married but that鈥檚 no excuse. I just stayed too long. Period.
 

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I agree.

Except for my child, I deeply regret my marriage but definitely not my divorce.
This is exactly how I feel. I wish I could've left sooner, but I stayed for the kids' sake (they were very young when I realized it was not going to be possible to stay with her, as she was mentally and verbally abusive).

I can't say "I never should have married her" because I love my kids more than anything else in the world & wouldn't have them otherwise, but... yeah, if I knew then what I know now, and knew how to maintain boundaries and personal space, I never would have married her.

I do not regret the divorce at all. Was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. The moment after I finished moving out of the house, and closed the door behind me in my new house... I felt like I was BORN AGAIN. It was so sweet... even though everything was piled up in boxes, I hardly had any furniture and I hadn't yet filed for divorce (that would happen in a couple days), I felt like I had a second chance to live.
 

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the only thing I regret is not doing it sooner...although my kids had a 2 parent household growing up and it wasn鈥檛 until the last couple of years that our marriage didnt look normal to them so there is still a positive there. So I guess there are no regrets after all.
 

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One thing I still regret post divorce is not enforcing the child support order. I am a man and the children stayed with me, I never asked for child support but the judge ordered her to pay support even though I had to pay spousal support. I never received a dime from her, the couple of times I brought it up the ex launched into typical hysteria and honestly I was worn out dealing with her so let it go.
 

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Nope. No regrets at divorcing the first wife. The regret is only marrying her in the first place---especially as I had a huge load of misgivings at the time, and I only married due to psychological pressure.
 

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I have absolutely no desire to see my XW ever again. I don't even see her as a woman & potential partner. It's odd, I've definitely had relationships "linger" where we break up, but keep hooking up, or call eachother months later... with my XW, it was all so caustic and nasty, I was just repelled by her as a person. No regrets or looking back whatsoever. I don't even know what I ever saw in her. I cannot even recall the sense of attraction at this point. And we were married 5 1/2 years, and dated for a year before that.
 
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