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Discussion Starter #1
Around this time last year my oldest sister and her youngest daughter came down from Chicago for Thanksgiving and to celebrate the youngest daughters birthday. My younger sister from Houston also came down with her family. I had been married for about a month at the time. My older sister's daughter supposedly wanted my ex to celebrate with us. My sisters and mother were was all for it and planned it like that without mentioning it to me until a day before. I expressed my dissatisfaction with it and also my wife's uneasiness about it. Everybody ganged up on me and said I was being ridiculous and that I should try to be cordial. They knew about all the harassing calls, uninvited appearances with the intent to physically assault my wife, threatening texts messages, and everybody advised me I should give the ex a chance and see how it went... all this within days of my exs most recent outburst against my wife and I. Nobody seemed to get that it made my wife uncomfortable and made her feel unwanted due to the fact that my family should have been eager to get to know her and spend holidays with her and not my ex. I feel they should have explained to my niece that it wasnt a good idea for my ex to be around...the adults should have made the decision there. It was my oldest sisters first time meeting my wife and she proceeded badmouth me at length while talking with my wife and also tell my oldest son lies such as me not wanting to hang around with him and other very mean and very ridiculous things. So now my mother is about to get married. I was never officially informed of the wedding by my mother. My younger sister told me about it. My ounger sister is the only one I really have a good relationship with. My mother simply told me that my sisters would be in town but never said why. So...I get a text from my oldest sister who i never hear from. The text message was her flight information and arrival time, etc. I spoke with my youngest sister and she said they all thought I should pick her up from the airport since I have a van that would seat her and her family. Am i wrong for feeling used and feeling like "why did she send me that text...whats that got to do with me?" Should I expect this visit to be like that last one with them inviting my ex and leaving me out again? I asked my younger sister about my ex being invited to the wedding and she really gave no answer. I see their actions as totally disrespectful to me and my wife and my kids. I would like to attend my mothers wedding but I wasnt invited and wont go if my ex is there. Why do they think it should be up to me to pick her up from the airport? And nobidy even asked me about the whole using my van thing..they are all just assuming thats how its gonna be.... last year is still fresh on my mind and they all never even acknowledged my feelings about it.
 

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1 - Are you sure you weren't invited on purpose? Did someone forget to invite you? It almost sounds that way. I can't see them wanting you to pick someone up not knowing the purpose of their visit.

2 - If they did not invite you on purpose, they have no business expecting you to be their taxi.

3 - If they disrespected you and your wife by inviting a crazy ex-wife who threatened your wife, they should have no expectations of your involvement, from being a taxi to being a guest at any function where crazy ex is there.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Spoke with my younger sister about this....she says I should already know im invited and that the ex hasn't been invited to her knowledge. She said im ridiculous for thinking I wasnt invited. I explained to her that after last year I should expect the same behavior from them and she said im being overly sensitive about the whole thing. I still dont feel my feelings are being considered. Like they think i shouldnt be upset or apprehensive after what happened last year
 

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Two scenarios... either they are absolutely clueless or they are using you.

I think you should sit out family gatherings for a while, it kind of sounds like they are trying to sabotage what you have by inviting your ex.
 
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