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Hi, I have been with my bf for almost 2 years. Back in February of this year I had found that he had been secretly texting and visiting a girl behind my back. This particular girl he was friends with before me and him got together and were first seeing each other. He had told me that before he met me he was interested in her and was thinking of dating her. He also told me about 11 months ago that he would date her. It was about 2 months later that I found they were talking. I called her and she told me that they had kissed when me and him were first together. He lied about it at first then he came clean and said that it was true. When I had confronted him about talking to her behind me back and hiding it from me he lied and we commenced a big fight which to then he admitted it, and when I asked him why he would do it to me he took off and left me. I was trying to call him and he wouldn't answer the phone, texted him and he ignored me. I then called her and she said he was trying to call her and kept calling her and texting her off the hook but she wouldn't answer him. I really didn't get why he was ignoring me and texting her or calling her. She said that he texted her that he was done with me and that I was crazy. We ended up working things out since. She had lived in a small town near his and I had told him that I thought it would be very indecent of him to go to the place where she worked for any reason. So I basicly banned him from going there. To my knowledge he didn't go there at all. About 6 months ago she moved into the town where he works. She now works at a gas station there, the cheapest one in town and the one that he has always gotten gas and cigarettes from. I found this out because about 6 months ago he was letting me use his cell phone because he has a work cell phone and my cell phone was on the fritz. When we were at Walmart she texted his phone, I immediately knew that it was her. I told him who it was and texted her to “leave me alone“ it being his cell phone she thought it was him. I texted her the next day from my cell phone and asked her why she texted him when she promised that she would not talk to him anymore out of respect for me. She ignored me. I still had his phone so I then texted her from it posing as him. I know it was wrong but I did it anyways. That was how I found out where she lived and worked now. He knows that she works there but still goes there all the time for gas and cigarettes when there are other gas stations closer to his work. He also passes by a cheaper place then there daily on his way to work that he could get gas of cigarettes if he needed them. She is friends with some of his friends and is always at |Tim Hortons. There is another Tim Hortons the exact same distance from his work but he still goes to the one she hangs out at all the time even tho he knows that he has a fair chance of running into her and sees her a few times a week there. He says that he does not talk to her when he is there tho. I have caught him in lies before so I really don't know if this is the truth or not. I have asked him if he could please go somewhere else because it makes me feel disrespected when he goes there knowing that she could very well be there and how many times he sees her. He said that he shouldn't have to stay away from a place just because she is there or works there. That she is friends with some of his friends and it isn't fair of me to ask him to stay away from those places. His friends mother also works at the gas station that she works at. He said that he only goes there when he sees his friends moms car there. He says that he has never been there when she is working. Is it wrong of me to feel that he is disrespecting me in going there. I know if the situation was turned around and I was trying to earn back his trust because I had done something stupid that I would steer clear of places that I knew the person could be at out of respect for my partner and not to put me in a temptatious situation irregardless if my friends were there with her or not. If I wanted to see my friends |I could simply ask them to meet me at the other Tim Hortins where I knew the person wouldn't be there. Am I going to far in requesting this? Does it seem like he doesn't care about my feelings? Could he still be talking to her? He has since gotten rid of his personal cell phone and only now has his work phone which I have no access to finding out anything from. I really don't know what I should think. I really feel like he is disrespecting me in going to the place that she works regularly and also the Tim Hortons that he knows she goes to almost the same time every day, when there is another one the same distance. Please help me sort out my feelings and tell me if I am wrong for feeling this way. I love him and I really want this to work. But can't help feeling like he shouldn't be frequenting these places if he is serious about us.
 
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