My husband is currently overseas and has been for 4 out of the 5 years we have been married. Up until early this year, we have handled the distance and our marriage well and have coped with the seperation together. I found out a week ago that back in July, he had an affair with a co-worker. She is no longer there, but they have carried on an emotional connection via internet and telephone. I stumbled upon this by accident. There was pictures of them together and messages of love and longing for one another. When I confronted my husband, he denied that there was anything physical at 1st. That it was just stupid internet bullsh*t. It wasn't until I spoke with the other woman that he finally admitted to that. He claims that he made a huge mistake and that he does want our marriage and that he no longer has contact with this woman. On one hand, he professes his complete shame and regret for his actions...then a day or two later, he says that he is sick of it and thinks he would be better off alone. Then 2 hours later he calls and apologizes for saying that and says he loves me and wants our marriage. I can't handle the mind games. I just don't know what to believe. How can I know for sure? To make matters worse, he is in a high level of stress occupation, we just suffered the loss of his mother and since we are seperated, it feels like we can't work on the marriage the way we need to. I feel it is time for him to come home and he says he agrees, but that until he can find gainful employment in the US, he won't come back. I feel like I am battling so many things just to keep this marriage..the distance, the other woman, employment issues, etc. My biggest fear is that in the end, I'll have been fighting these battles for nothing. That he will one day say to me he no longer loves me and wants out of the marriage. I am so confused. The only other emotion I can feel is complete dispair.