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I’m a 52 year old male with Primary Progressive MS. I’m still mobile only with a walker. My marriage has been on a downward spiral and I feel the end is finally here. As my disease has progressed my wife has become more abusive & neglectful emotionally, verbally and mentally.

I cannot safely get in and out of the bathtub by myself. About a year ago I took a fall and she berated me for not having a shower chair. I decided to get one and showed it to her but she did not like it so I sent her 3 more items to look at and she did not like any of them and told me if I got one without her approval she would not help me set it up in the tub to use and has never offered to help find one. If she gets mad she’ll refuse to help me get bathed.

When she gets mad at me for the smallest thing she will refuse to cook or help me with food, I can eat on my own but preparation is difficult. (I can make a sandwich that’s about it) I once suggested a premade meal service as a supplement….she said no to that. I can’t get packages off our porch & into the house, she does that and told me if I subscribe she will not bring it inside.

I cannot do laundry myself as our laundry is downstairs and I cannot get there, again if mad she’ll refuse to wash my clothes.

This last episode she got pissed over something trivial and has refused to talk to me for 2 days. (on my own for food & bathing etc.). A lot of this stems from depression ad what I believe to be Narcissistic Personality Disorder mixed with being brought up by abusive parents. But it is still unacceptable.

I need out for my own health, the stress is affecting my MS. I know this has turned into something way more toxic than I should be subjected to.

Here is my concern, I just want out. I would just like to walk out and leave everything (Material things can be replaced) & start new. I am the primary income earner, I always have been since we’ve been together. Now I work 100% from home.

I’m in Ohio & given I’m disabled (not on disability as I can still work) what are my options?

Thank you
 

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This is abusive and neglectful. Please let your care team know, it’s inhumane. Your job, when you’re not well, is to just be unwell and be cared for. I can see that you’re trying to make suggestions and be proactive and she’s not letting you get help, nor is she helping you.
 

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Don't just leave everything to her. Do it the right way -- get with a lawyer.
Also, I agree -- she is abusive and that needs to stop NOW.
 

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I’m a 52 year old male with Primary Progressive MS. I’m still mobile only with a walker. My marriage has been on a downward spiral and I feel the end is finally here. As my disease has progressed my wife has become more abusive & neglectful emotionally, verbally and mentally.

I cannot safely get in and out of the bathtub by myself. About a year ago I took a fall and she berated me for not having a shower chair. I decided to get one and showed it to her but she did not like it so I sent her 3 more items to look at and she did not like any of them and told me if I got one without her approval she would not help me set it up in the tub to use and has never offered to help find one. If she gets mad she’ll refuse to help me get bathed.

When she gets mad at me for the smallest thing she will refuse to cook or help me with food, I can eat on my own but preparation is difficult. (I can make a sandwich that’s about it) I once suggested a premade meal service as a supplement….she said no to that. I can’t get packages off our porch & into the house, she does that and told me if I subscribe she will not bring it inside.

I cannot do laundry myself as our laundry is downstairs and I cannot get there, again if mad she’ll refuse to wash my clothes.

This last episode she got pissed over something trivial and has refused to talk to me for 2 days. (on my own for food & bathing etc.). A lot of this stems from depression ad what I believe to be Narcissistic Personality Disorder mixed with being brought up by abusive parents. But it is still unacceptable.

I need out for my own health, the stress is affecting my MS. I know this has turned into something way more toxic than I should be subjected to.

Here is my concern, I just want out. I would just like to walk out and leave everything (Material things can be replaced) & start new. I am the primary income earner, I always have been since we’ve been together. Now I work 100% from home.

I’m in Ohio & given I’m disabled (not on disability as I can still work) what are my options?

Thank you
Your wife sounds like an awful person and I think you should get out. A lot of new apartment complexes have a few accessible units. That would be perfect for you. Don't just let her have it all keep as much as you possibly can. Find a good lawyer and talk it through. Good lawyers are usually well connected and they should be able to provide some help in finding resources to assist you transition.
 

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Ohio Domestic Violence Network
1-800-934-9840
Start with calling this number to get the process started.

Call a Lawyer.

Do that ASAP.
Make sure to explain your situation as they should be able to get the ball rolling for dealing with abuse as the divorce is going on.
 

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I agree with calling the hotline. You need to have as many things in order before you leave her, and they can tell you the steps to take.
 

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I am the primary income earner, I always have been since we’ve been together.
this has turned into something way more toxic than I should be subjected to.
A lot of this stems from depression ad what I believe to be Narcissistic Personality Disorder mixed with being brought up by abusive parents.
I’m a 52 year old male
Assuming your wife is close in age with you, she has had 25 YEARS to straighten herself the hell out. "abusive parents" ceased to be an excuse a quarter century ago.
"depression" is a word used to describe the behavior of a lazy, self-interested, entitled shrew....and "narcissist", from a country-boy perspective, means somebody who thinks their **** don't stink....but, all the rest of us can't stand the stench of it.....

Get a lawyer, get a GOOD one, a "barracuda", who will make sure she does not get to continue "riding".
 
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