I’ve been married over 20 years. Children are grown. I love my husband and he loves me. I don’t believe he’s cheated. I have not either. We have a pretty great marriage, except when it comes to sex. Thinking back this has been a pretty constant thread for us. Of course was no problem at first. But after kids the usual story. Until the past year we always had pretty regular sex despite me having a much lower sex drive. Once a month would be fine with me. Every day would be fine with him. But I’ve always been a willing partner. I’ve tried to explain that ten minutes in I’m glad it’s happening but I just don’t necessarily want to at the outset. But as I said. I’ve probably actually said no less than five times ever. Once I realized how important this was to him I made it a priority. I actually initiated and would keep track. He didn’t want to initiate since I confessed I wasn’t into it at the outset. I could go on but this is the gist. I can’t take hormones due to past cancer. But as I said I’m fine ten minutes in. I always climax. He’s great in bed. This isn’t enough for him. He is upset so many times over the years that I don’t “desire” him. He’s made spread sheets documenting how often we have sex. I’m exhausted. I quit initiating because I felt like he didn’t appreciate my efforts. Instead they just aren’t enough. He wants me to be horney like we just met. I can’t be that person. Literally nothing else is wrong. I’m at my wits end. I’m sick of discussing this. Yes. We’ve been to counseling. Watched porn. I feel like having sex and even good sex. By his own account too. Is a win. But he feels upset. He feels there must be more to it. It’s a literal constant elephant in the room. Please help me. I’m ready to leave sometimes. I’d rather be alone than constantly letting someone down.