RaisedGarden: You have nothing to "save" but yourself. She cried when confronted because she was caught and doesn't wish to lose the financial security you provide.
Did I go about this all wrong?
Ok, Here is the story which has been repeated many times before here, but I want everyone's take on this.
My wife of less than two years, but together for 14 years has decided to take on another paramore. She has done this before with me walking in on her and a coworker both in their underwear in our 7th year of the relationship. We had an extended break, but I forgave, and we were married years later. Fast forward to married life and my wife was growing distant as she had during the first infidelity.I attempted to source the issue, but she would be very vague about her feelings and had cut off sexual relations for more than 6 months with lame excuses. I began to feel that something more was going on again. This time she was careless and was talking to someone on the phone with a mans voice I never heard before. I asked who it was and she told me it was her old girlfriend I knew well. I snooped and found out in the phone records a number that this person did not have. The number was called numerous times a day for as little as 2 minutes but up to 2 hours. She had numerous text messages back and forth(>50 a day) She also had at least 5 picture messages a day as well. When confronted she admitted to having a new friend at work an she had been lying because she was afraid of what my reaction would be.
So after our little pow-wow the calls decreased, but the texting increased to over 100 a day. Every time I pressed the issue, she lied. I began noticing she was disappearing from work at odd hours, nowhere to be found. She would always have bizarre excuses for cover. I had enough, so I installed a text tracking software on her phone. I was in for a shock, a constant "I see you when I close my eyes" lots of :'* Then she was having meetups with him at "their place" at work. I had the proof and I had a sit down, where she cried and rocked on the couch, she never admitted to anything, but nothing, I mean nothing stopped the lying or the communication. So for better or worse I listened to online advise and approached her Parents, friends, and the gentleman himself to let them know what my wife was doing and I was wise to it. Of course my extremely religious in laws got her on the phone immediately and she talked her way out of it. She did the same with the friends, and the other man never got back to me. All I wanted to do is stop the relationship and get her back to table to talk out her concerns and issues with the marriage.
Because of this, my life has gone from bad to worse. All her side think I'm a nuts stalker. My wife barely talks to me and berates me when alone. I have her begrudgingly agreed to seeing a counselor, but she keeps moving the goal post on the first meeting and the conditions surrounding it. This leads me to my questions. Should I have released the texts to the people I told via email/mail? Should I do so now that everyone thinks I'm nuts? I did not involve her HR and director as told in the advise to prevent his and her firing, was I wrong not do so? Is it even worth the pain of reconnecting with estranged family and friends considering how she lied to cause this? Should I walk away knowing that she has the propensity to cheat on the drop of a hat? Should I just call it quits and lawyer up?
My wife of less than two years, but together for 14 years has decided to take on another paramore. She has done this before with me walking in on her and a coworker both in their underwear in our 7th year of the relationship. We had an extended break, but I forgave, and we were married years later. Fast forward to married life and my wife was growing distant as she had during the first infidelity.I attempted to source the issue, but she would be very vague about her feelings and had cut off sexual relations for more than 6 months with lame excuses. I began to feel that something more was going on again. This time she was careless and was talking to someone on the phone with a mans voice I never heard before. I asked who it was and she told me it was her old girlfriend I knew well. I snooped and found out in the phone records a number that this person did not have. The number was called numerous times a day for as little as 2 minutes but up to 2 hours. She had numerous text messages back and forth(>50 a day) She also had at least 5 picture messages a day as well. When confronted she admitted to having a new friend at work an she had been lying because she was afraid of what my reaction would be.
So after our little pow-wow the calls decreased, but the texting increased to over 100 a day. Every time I pressed the issue, she lied. I began noticing she was disappearing from work at odd hours, nowhere to be found. She would always have bizarre excuses for cover. I had enough, so I installed a text tracking software on her phone. I was in for a shock, a constant "I see you when I close my eyes" lots of :'* Then she was having meetups with him at "their place" at work. I had the proof and I had a sit down, where she cried and rocked on the couch, she never admitted to anything, but nothing, I mean nothing stopped the lying or the communication. So for better or worse I listened to online advise and approached her Parents, friends, and the gentleman himself to let them know what my wife was doing and I was wise to it. Of course my extremely religious in laws got her on the phone immediately and she talked her way out of it. She did the same with the friends, and the other man never got back to me. All I wanted to do is stop the relationship and get her back to table to talk out her concerns and issues with the marriage.
Because of this, my life has gone from bad to worse. All her side think I'm a nuts stalker. My wife barely talks to me and berates me when alone. I have her begrudgingly agreed to seeing a counselor, but she keeps moving the goal post on the first meeting and the conditions surrounding it. This leads me to my questions. Should I have released the texts to the people I told via email/mail? Should I do so now that everyone thinks I'm nuts? I did not involve her HR and director as told in the advise to prevent his and her firing, was I wrong not do so? Is it even worth the pain of reconnecting with estranged family and friends considering how she lied to cause this? Should I walk away knowing that she has the propensity to cheat on the drop of a hat? Should I just call it quits and lawyer up?
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