Talk About Marriage banner

41 - 52 of 52 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,344 Posts
Which is what has given me pause the whole dang time. It’s part of what make me believe him. He knows I won’t spill the beans to the other women. I learned my lesson on that a long time ago.
I do want to know the truth I’m probably the only woman on earth who does. He knows me well enough and knows I left my last relationship after years cause he ended up f***ing around and we didn’t have the sex problem, we never stopped actually. I will literally walk the f away and never give a person the time of day again. For real dead to me.
Ok, but what about the jizz stains in his underoos? He just accidentally came in his pants?

There is no way to prove this. But if you can’t put it to rest, you could mandate a polygraph, just don’t tell him what questions you’re going to ask.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
Which is what has given me pause the whole dang time. It’s part of what make me believe him. He knows I won’t spill the beans to the other women. I learned my lesson on that a long time ago.
I do want to know the truth I’m probably the only woman on earth who does. He knows me well enough and knows I left my last relationship after years cause he ended up f***ing around and we didn’t have the sex problem, we never stopped actually. I will literally walk the f away and never give a person the time of day again. For real dead to me.
Why won't you say anything to the other women? Are any of them your friends? How can you look a real friend in the eye and act like everything is cool when you know their husband is cheating?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
251 Posts
Valid point.

Would also like to add, your H is who he hangs with. I used to be in denial about this point too, but no longer.
^^There are actually academic studies that prove this.
 
  • Like
Reactions: QuietRiot

·
Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
Which is what has given me pause the whole dang time. It’s part of what make me believe him. He knows I won’t spill the beans to the other women. I learned my lesson on that a long time ago.
I do want to know the truth I’m probably the only woman on earth who does. He knows me well enough and knows I left my last relationship after years cause he ended up f***ing around and we didn’t have the sex problem, we never stopped actually. I will literally walk the f away and never give a person the time of day again. For real dead to me.
Suppose one of the other women knew what went on there and knew your husband did have sex with someone at the party. Would you want her to tell you or keep you in the dark? That is a fool's paradise. Why would you do that to a friend?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #47 ·
Why won't you say anything to the other women? Are any of them your friends? How can you look a real friend in the eye and act like everything is cool when you know their husband is cheating?
I’m friends with all of them. I’ve been down this path more than once and the messenger is always the bad guy and never spoken to again. I’ve went through this twice with life long friends. They sided with their husbands and then when the ended up splitting down the road cause person was caught red handed they still never spoke to me again. Again this is another time all I have is my word. That’s never enough in the situations. My word isn’t even first hand witness of it in the case and the other times was.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
I’m friends with all of them. I’ve been down this path more than once and the messenger is always the bad guy and never spoken to again. I’ve went through this twice with life long friends. They sided with their husbands and then when the ended up splitting down the road cause person was caught red handed they still never spoke to me again. Again this is another time all I have is my word. That’s never enough in the situations. My word isn’t even first hand witness of it in the case and the other times was.
It sucks that you lost those friends, but you did the right thing. Did you ever reach out to them after the split?

How would you feel if the other women knew that the guys were in a rented house, all with their rings removed and a bunch of unknown women were being screwed by some or all of them, and didn't tell you? Would you want to be friends with them after you found out what happened? You are letting them live in a lie. Do you think they will be friends with you in two years when they catch their husband red handed and they find out about the trip you knew all about? Or worse, what if 20 years goes by and they find out they have been getting cheated on for decades and you could have stopped it? You are being complicit in the cheating. You are, in part, enabling the cheating on your friends. You don't have to tell them to leave their husbands. You just tell them what you know. Just say hey, "did you know the men all took their wedding ring off and there were women there being laid by at least some of the men present?"

In a situation like this I try to put myself in the other person's shoes. So, my wife goes on a girls weekend with some friends, some of which are known to be cheating on their husbands. They all decide to remove their rings and call in a few studs to get naked with. Some or all them get laid or engage in some other kinds of sexual activity. First of all I would not have just said sure, go with your cheating friends to a hotel. Second, if one of the other husbands knew about those details that went on and didn't tell me I would be totally pissed if I ever found out they knew and the friendship would be over. What kind of friend are you that knows about this kind of activity and can then just go hug your friend and act like all is okay? Also, how would your husband react if the roles were reversed?

Honestly if I found out my wife purposely took her ring off while away overnight, the only reason for which is to hide that you are married, we would be done. She would have shown the intent to cheat, period. What reason would you have for hiding that you are married other than to show you are available? Even if she didn't end up cheating, that is what she was there for, just like your husband. Who also happens to not have sex with you more than once a month and comes home from said trip with cum stains in his underwear. And what was his excuse for that? He masturbated to a picture of you or something. So he won't have sex with you, but will masturbate to your picture. That doesn't make much sense. Also, he was showing another friend a nude picture of you. All of his actions show a total disrespect for you and your marriage. The warning signs are all flashing bright red, don't ignore them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,910 Posts
He took his ring off....., pretty simple what the intent was.
Cum in the britches—- not a good sign of sex with another woman. It would be in her, on her, or in a condom. Com in the britches is more like a lap dance with an extremely horny man.

you still have not addressed the once a month sex. There’s more to the story and one idiotic bachelor party thing with cum stains in the britches is not that damning, although taking off the ring and having those shows pretty low behavior, especially for a married man.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,468 Posts
Cum in the britches—- not a good sign of sex with another woman. It would be in her, on her, or in a condom. Com in the britches is more like a lap dance with an extremely horny man.
Or a blow job, hand job, or sex with pants on but unzipped.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Discussion Starter · #51 ·
It sucks that you lost those friends, but you did the right thing. Did you ever reach out to them after the split?

How would you feel if the other women knew that the guys were in a rented house, all with their rings removed and a bunch of unknown women were being screwed by some or all of them, and didn't tell you? Would you want to be friends with them after you found out what happened? You are letting them live in a lie. Do you think they will be friends with you in two years when they catch their husband red handed and they find out about the trip you knew all about? Or worse, what if 20 years goes by and they find out they have been getting cheated on for decades and you could have stopped it? You are being complicit in the cheating. You are, in part, enabling the cheating on your friends. You don't have to tell them to leave their husbands. You just tell them what you know. Just say hey, "did you know the men all took their wedding ring off and there were women there being laid by at least some of the men present?"

In a situation like this I try to put myself in the other person's shoes. So, my wife goes on a girls weekend with some friends, some of which are known to be cheating on their husbands. They all decide to remove their rings and call in a few studs to get naked with. Some or all them get laid or engage in some other kinds of sexual activity. First of all I would not have just said sure, go with your cheating friends to a hotel. Second, if one of the other husbands knew about those details that went on and didn't tell me I would be totally pissed if I ever found out they knew and the friendship would be over. What kind of friend are you that knows about this kind of activity and can then just go hug your friend and act like all is okay? Also, how would your husband react if the roles were reversed?

Honestly if I found out my wife purposely took her ring off while away overnight, the only reason for which is to hide that you are married, we would be done. She would have shown the intent to cheat, period. What reason would you have for hiding that you are married other than to show you are available? Even if she didn't end up cheating, that is what she was there for, just like your husband. Who also happens to not have sex with you more than once a month and comes home from said trip with cum stains in his underwear. And what was his excuse for that? He masturbated to a picture of you or something. So he won't have sex with you, but will masturbate to your picture. That doesn't make much sense. Also, he was showing another friend a nude picture of you. All of his actions show a total disrespect for you and your marriage. The warning signs are all flashing bright red, don't ignore them.
Most of the guys who were hooking up with girls on this trip we’re single. One was married, the other was getting married. The soon to be wife to the one getting married, legit doesn’t give a damn if he did or not. Only one is really in the dark. We aren’t sure how to tell her and again not lose her as a friend. Your just showing how it’s different for men than women. Women tell each other these kind of things and the victim cuts ties EVERY time. Men they stick with their boys always.
I have reached out to the ones I told before that split over that very reason. I’m still the bad guy for bursting their bubble. Cause here is the thing they were never suspicious, they were oblivious.
Cum stains I wish I could post a picture of what I found: yes that was his excuse. He does do this thing that I have notice where he decides he wants me when I’m not around or when we legit can’t have sex. I don’t know what that’s about, I call it being lazy.
Turns out the guy that said that about seeing my boobs before was full of ****.
I completely agree about the ring which is what started all of this.
If you are going to continue to fixate on if I ruin my friend life that would rather be in the dark or not, don’t bother replying and hijacking this feed. They would tell me if they knew anything because they know I want to know. We are not the same kind of women, they know that and I know that. I’m not afraid to be alone and I have no problem being alone if it comes down to it, I’ll live.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
Most of the guys who were hooking up with girls on this trip we’re single. One was married, the other was getting married. The soon to be wife to the one getting married, legit doesn’t give a damn if he did or not. Only one is really in the dark. We aren’t sure how to tell her and again not lose her as a friend. Your just showing how it’s different for men than women. Women tell each other these kind of things and the victim cuts ties EVERY time. Men they stick with their boys always.
I have reached out to the ones I told before that split over that very reason. I’m still the bad guy for bursting their bubble. Cause here is the thing they were never suspicious, they were oblivious.
Cum stains I wish I could post a picture of what I found: yes that was his excuse. He does do this thing that I have notice where he decides he wants me when I’m not around or when we legit can’t have sex. I don’t know what that’s about, I call it being lazy.
Turns out the guy that said that about seeing my boobs before was full of ****.
I completely agree about the ring which is what started all of this.
If you are going to continue to fixate on if I ruin my friend life that would rather be in the dark or not, don’t bother replying and hijacking this feed. They would tell me if they knew anything because they know I want to know. We are not the same kind of women, they know that and I know that. I’m not afraid to be alone and I have no problem being alone if it comes down to it, I’ll live.
It is ultimately your choice, but I really don't get the double standard. You would want to know, but you won't tell a friend. This wasn't meant to be a threadjack. It is all relevant. You don't want to believe your husband cheated even though he went away with the boys, took off his ring and people were openly having sex in the rented house they were in. He lied along the way only giving you just a little information until pressed for more. You are also accepting of the other men he hangs out with being cheaters. Cheaters will enable cheaters, period. Even if he didn't cheat there are seem to be some rather serious moral and other issues going on here. I wish you the best of luck.
 
41 - 52 of 52 Posts
Top